Do these things for yourself or your family.

Goood mornin' everybody,

Before I pass on a couple of little things about this week and some other points to help you or your family members that may be going through stuff like this, I have two things that I really need to do.

First, I need to reassure you that there are things that are completely and totally within "your control" when you are beginning to deal with the process of fighting cancer or at least the grade 4 stuff that I'm killing every week.

Second, I have a short list of thank you notes to add and then I'll get on with it.

Tom, do not fear. I gave your sister some questions for you. While you're at it, tell Gilbert he's still my favorite World War II PBY pilot of all time and was a positive influence with me as a kid who wanted, and did become, a pilot for our military.

Tobi, thanks for the link about medical marijuana. As they say: "This ain't California" and it's not done here or maybe it's not needed here. Besides that, Tim Jr acquired a script for "Temazepam" for me that has helped knock the edge off the steroid kick.

It's not quite as strong as I hoped it would be but it's enough for now. It's greatly improved the 3 to 4 hour sleeping periods I've had over the past two weeks. Last night I made it from 11 pm to 5 a.m and slept like a baby. Any way you look at that, it's a gain of 40 to 50 percent. Much, much better and any gain at all under these circumstances is a huge gain.

Fighter Pilots, thanks for the continued support. You guys are the best. "Left Seat", Doug, ACR, Jumpin' Joe Height, Super Scout, Eddie, Fireball Aviation, ARP's, Chuck 30, Curt, thanks for the photos and the well wishes. Et al, as the saying goes for everybody I can't list here.

Prairie, can't find the words to tell you except to say without you and your support, I would have probably done something stupid like refuse the treatment and head south to an early death. Yeah, you helped save my life................period and yes, I talked to my oncologist about refusing the treatments and simply going to Tommy and Lanell's till I got set up again. You have made it happen for me and in that sense, helped save my life. Vic, you too! Thanks doesn't quite do it but I'll figure out how to express it soon.

Now, as it relates to the simple things that I (you) can control, let me tell you what I did and, because of drug induced moments of "DUH", how I managed to do it.

I took out a Big Chief Pad and a pencil and wrote down a long list of stuff that bothered me. It ranged from "the unknowns from fear" all the way to those small things that I was hearing and experiencing from my own situation. Here's how I knocked them out.

I divided each problem into a separate category and put it in a really big circle on the page. They ended up representing two groups of things that eventually became "controllable on my end" or "modifiable at the hospital".

I then, inside the circle, drew a smaller circle around each little problem. I ended up with a huge ballon looking thing with lots of little marble sized "problem circles" inside the balloon. It was like a big circle with 40 little circles inside the big circle.

I couldn't do anything at all about the chemo thing but I did find out that there are different dosages and different methods to use in the process of becoming "fully saturated" with chemo.

I don't know if you can have your situation modified to get off the "chemo bag" and into the "chemo script" but I do know for a fact that if you are on the "chemo script" and you are having trouble with the nausea part of it, the Chief of Staff can work wonders by adjusting your nausea meds and effectively, put rib eye steak back on your menu instead of "soft foods only".

That is a huge key to recovery because I do not have to deal with being "sick" while I'm dealing with my new job of bein' in the tumor killin' bidness. That allowed me to eliminate one of the marble sized problems inside the big ballon full of problems.

Aside from chemo and with specific regard to radiation, I just hope you or yours might have the same kind of crew I have at the VA hospital. I'd take them to any battle field anywhere. It's painless, thorough, comfortable while it's being done and it has never given me even the slightest bit of discomfort at all.

They have a bad boy down there named Waylon who sets everything up for the comfort level and two good looking blondes who effectively aim the shots and calibrate the machine to insure that every shot they take hits within 1 mm of accuracy.

You simply do not have to worry about the radiation thing and in addition to that, you don't have to worrry if they are frying your brain or any area that they should not be hitting. They have checks and balances to calibrate the machine and a validation process that the shot groups are hitting within 1 mm of the target can be easily verified. Don't sweat the radiation. That allowed me to knock out that marble size "fear" entry inside the big balloon. That was a really comfortable and rewarding "scratch off" inside the balloon. It takes a wee bit of different thought process to accept that somebody is "zeroing" their gun on your right temporal lobe, but once you realize that they're just hitting the bull's eye, it'll be okay.

Last but not least relates to a speedy recovery vs. a long drawn out and somewhat miserable "condition" during recovery. Oddly enough, that's been the easiest thing to accomplish.

Big brother had a saying that I'll pass along to you now with the adder that I think you should "adopt it" without fail. He said, relative to comfort, that there are 3 things that are important when you reach a certain age. They are:

"Loose fittin slippers, a warm place to squat and a nice *** ***** unmentionable here".

I achieved that right off the bat when I changed my appointment time from 7:30 a.m. everyday to 1:30 p.m. That, more than anything else, allowed me to get ready at my speed and comfort level and it also took a burden off Tim Jr, Kristin, Joey and Steve to get up at oh dark thirty in the morning to get me to the hospital at that time of the morning (cause I still can't drive).

Do it. Ask the doc. They're just as excited to see you happy as you are. That's when I crossed off that marble sized problem that surrounded "strain".

The first part of accomplishing that may sound a little confusing but if you simply direct a thought like that toward organizing your own comfort level, let me say that you MUST do that or you'll constantly be uncomfortable and have hell getting the sleep and the rest that is paramount to recovery.

Do whatever you have to do even if it means getting a bigger tv, a new pillow, a different diet, a change in schedule, an alternative drug, new pajamas, different slippers, an electric razor instead of blades that, with a cut, will cause you to "bleed out". Get a different diet of special foods that are "soft" like cereal, bananas, apples and other soft things like oatmeal.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some things that may apply to you and your specific circumstances and I'm also reasonably sure that you may have no choices like I do such as a script for chemo vs. the "bag". In any event, ask!

I'd rather have a longer recovery period and be in good spirits and physically comfortable through the whole process than have a short term recovery and be sick and puking my insides out every, single day. Ain't happenin' here.

In any event, DO NOT think that you don't get a vote in all that. Just make the list of stuff that pisses you off and take the steps to remove that part of it. I promise you that you'll wake up one day and see that big ass balloon with 90 percent of the problems scratched off. It works!

Jr and Kristin on the way for "the week end off breakfast bash" so I gotta fly. Thanks for your continue comments and let me say that I'm really glad you guys have linked on the Lance Armstrong link and other cancer links and have discovered the alternatives that you didn't know about before Melissa, Joey, Tim Jr and Kristin put this blog together.

Roll in hot boys! Stone em with the chemo and "lite em up" with that radiation. Tumor killin' bidness is good!

Love you guys,

Uncle Tim
Senior
Fireball 28
White 8
Thunderhorse
Right Seat.