Can't seem to get this stomach squared away. I'm not sick as a result of any chemo but the brain swelling/stroke/siezure preventative medications has literally put me down.
I spent all day in bed the day after Thanksgiving. I have to take 1,000 mg per day or two 500 mg doses doses 12 hours apart.
Doc's are not real happy with me as they told me not to go back to work. They still say I'm in denial about my condition and the things that I've endured such as brain trauma and the loss of some temporal lobe matter. Going to the hospital in a minute to visit with them about that and to see what's up with this anuerism (spelling) in my stomach.
As long as they don't mandate that I MUST stay "IN" the hospital, I will consider today's visit a success. I do not want them to make me retire but I'm pretty much at their command because I can not afford to lose my benefit package that covers the upcoming surgery.
Hangin' tough as I can.
Tim Sr.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
In the spring of 1970, the Dong Nigh (sp) Regiment of the North Vietnamese Army had already moved into the Province where we operated near Xuan Loc. (Google Xuan Loc).
As a helicopter pilot, I fought them when I was with the 199th Light Infantry Brigade and the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment. "Fire Support Base Gloria" was a movie that focused on their fighting skills. R. Lee Ermy starred in that movie and if you've seen it, you'll already know that they moved from that area southward and began fighting with us in the Central Highlands.
I had the extreme displeasure of watching them kill two Warrant Officer aviators on July 4th of that year. Their names are Jernigan and Stearns. Both were Warrants. A direct hit to their cobra took them down in the midst of one hell of a battle where they had ambushed one of our convoys.
Four months later, only two months after the 199th had gone home and I had been transferred to the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment, we were fighting them again.
On that day, the ARPS, Aero Rifle Platoon, had a mission to take on the Dong Nghai (sp) in a head to head battle right outside Xuan Loc.
After heavy contact was made and the discovery that we were outnumbered by the NVA, our guys were ordered out to make it safe for B 52's to do their work in the area. During the extraction of all troops, I was ordered to hold west of the Landing Zone because the FM (PRC 10) radio that we used to communicate with the ground commander was inoperative.
When all helicopters were flying out of the LZ and began the flight home, I maneuvered to take position in the formation as the last ship. We called that position "Tail End Charlie".
Before I closed with the other Hueys, I was called on a UHF radio and was told that there were 4 men left on the ground, that they were surrounded and that I would have to go back in and get them out.
Cobra gunships were making west to east gun runs pouring mini gun fire and 2.75" high explosive rockets into the tree lines that surrounded the Landing Zone and our 4 guys.
After a brief radio communication from our CO, we were directed to make a west to east approach to the LZ, locate a downed tree on the dirt road running through the LZ and to pick up our guys who were using the downed tree as cover in the middle of one hell of a battle.
We found the tree, saw our guys and made our final approach to the area next to the tree where our guys could literally jump on board and we could get the hell out of there.
With rockets and mini gun fire from the cobra's keeping the enemy's heads down, the guys jumped on and I took off. We were in a heavily loaded condition because it was a very hot day with a high density altitude situation making the Huey hard to handle.
As I took off and began my transition to forward flight, the Huey was sluggish and couldn't deliver the speed and climb rate I needed. My chin bubble hit a tree and, at the same time, the limbs nearly took the pants off of Sgt. Ed Usrey, one of the four men who was hanging on to the side of the Huey with his feet still placed on the skids. We were surrounded and as Ed says: "There were enough dinks there to eat the helicopter".
Every Thanksgiving I think about Ed. I sent him an email yesterday wishing his kids and grandkids a Happy Thanksgiving. I do that because Ed told me that each year that goes by whenever they have a family get together and a feast is planned, Ed says the blessing. He mentions me by name and gives thanks that I was there that day as without that day, he never would have had any kids or grand kids.
You can not imagine what this does to a man's soul and how wonderful it is to have the guys that were on the ground remember you and thank you for the things you did when it was your turn at the plate. Thanks to all you guys.
Tim Sr.
As a helicopter pilot, I fought them when I was with the 199th Light Infantry Brigade and the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment. "Fire Support Base Gloria" was a movie that focused on their fighting skills. R. Lee Ermy starred in that movie and if you've seen it, you'll already know that they moved from that area southward and began fighting with us in the Central Highlands.
I had the extreme displeasure of watching them kill two Warrant Officer aviators on July 4th of that year. Their names are Jernigan and Stearns. Both were Warrants. A direct hit to their cobra took them down in the midst of one hell of a battle where they had ambushed one of our convoys.
Four months later, only two months after the 199th had gone home and I had been transferred to the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment, we were fighting them again.
On that day, the ARPS, Aero Rifle Platoon, had a mission to take on the Dong Nghai (sp) in a head to head battle right outside Xuan Loc.
After heavy contact was made and the discovery that we were outnumbered by the NVA, our guys were ordered out to make it safe for B 52's to do their work in the area. During the extraction of all troops, I was ordered to hold west of the Landing Zone because the FM (PRC 10) radio that we used to communicate with the ground commander was inoperative.
When all helicopters were flying out of the LZ and began the flight home, I maneuvered to take position in the formation as the last ship. We called that position "Tail End Charlie".
Before I closed with the other Hueys, I was called on a UHF radio and was told that there were 4 men left on the ground, that they were surrounded and that I would have to go back in and get them out.
Cobra gunships were making west to east gun runs pouring mini gun fire and 2.75" high explosive rockets into the tree lines that surrounded the Landing Zone and our 4 guys.
After a brief radio communication from our CO, we were directed to make a west to east approach to the LZ, locate a downed tree on the dirt road running through the LZ and to pick up our guys who were using the downed tree as cover in the middle of one hell of a battle.
We found the tree, saw our guys and made our final approach to the area next to the tree where our guys could literally jump on board and we could get the hell out of there.
With rockets and mini gun fire from the cobra's keeping the enemy's heads down, the guys jumped on and I took off. We were in a heavily loaded condition because it was a very hot day with a high density altitude situation making the Huey hard to handle.
As I took off and began my transition to forward flight, the Huey was sluggish and couldn't deliver the speed and climb rate I needed. My chin bubble hit a tree and, at the same time, the limbs nearly took the pants off of Sgt. Ed Usrey, one of the four men who was hanging on to the side of the Huey with his feet still placed on the skids. We were surrounded and as Ed says: "There were enough dinks there to eat the helicopter".
Every Thanksgiving I think about Ed. I sent him an email yesterday wishing his kids and grandkids a Happy Thanksgiving. I do that because Ed told me that each year that goes by whenever they have a family get together and a feast is planned, Ed says the blessing. He mentions me by name and gives thanks that I was there that day as without that day, he never would have had any kids or grand kids.
You can not imagine what this does to a man's soul and how wonderful it is to have the guys that were on the ground remember you and thank you for the things you did when it was your turn at the plate. Thanks to all you guys.
Tim Sr.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Helicopter Pilots Reunion
The 5th Warrant Officer Candidate Class of 70-05 had a character among it's ranks named Howard Modjeski. Howard survived the war, returned home as a hero and is still flying. He suggested a reunion and I think it's a great idea.
Our fearless, former leader of the pack, lives in Kansas City with other graduates who are spread out from Florida to Hawaii. There are two that are in the Chicago area (Scott Reed and Steve Eide). I've lost contact with Mike Morris but I think some of the California boys might know where he is as well as Art McGee.
I think we ought to pick a point somewhere that would be easy and cheap for all to meet. When I think about Chuck Olsen and Bruce Marshall, two guys who would have to come from Calfornia and Hawaii, I think Dallas because that's a non stop from a lot of places.
Hot Springs, Arkansas is a neat place and it's sorta centrally located in the country and certainly not far for me and Bernard T Diable, our old HMFIC. Howard has a Beechcraft and might find two passengers willing to pay some fuel expense from his area of the world. That would be Doug Womack from the Balitimore area and Bouncin' Billy Reinhardt from Pennsylvania.
Anybody out there have any ideas?
.
Our fearless, former leader of the pack, lives in Kansas City with other graduates who are spread out from Florida to Hawaii. There are two that are in the Chicago area (Scott Reed and Steve Eide). I've lost contact with Mike Morris but I think some of the California boys might know where he is as well as Art McGee.
I think we ought to pick a point somewhere that would be easy and cheap for all to meet. When I think about Chuck Olsen and Bruce Marshall, two guys who would have to come from Calfornia and Hawaii, I think Dallas because that's a non stop from a lot of places.
Hot Springs, Arkansas is a neat place and it's sorta centrally located in the country and certainly not far for me and Bernard T Diable, our old HMFIC. Howard has a Beechcraft and might find two passengers willing to pay some fuel expense from his area of the world. That would be Doug Womack from the Balitimore area and Bouncin' Billy Reinhardt from Pennsylvania.
Anybody out there have any ideas?
.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
The 41st Anniversary of my 21st Birthday
Made 62 today, despite all the odds.
My sister called me to acknowledge the miracle of making to 62 years old especially having gone through emergency brain surgery, chemo, radiation and a "you have 3 to 12 months to live".
She added that I need not forget that the family is still surprised I made it past 22.
Meds properly adjusted and I'm feeling good.
Sr.
My sister called me to acknowledge the miracle of making to 62 years old especially having gone through emergency brain surgery, chemo, radiation and a "you have 3 to 12 months to live".
She added that I need not forget that the family is still surprised I made it past 22.
Meds properly adjusted and I'm feeling good.
Sr.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Meltdown Solved
Jr took me to the hospital last week to pursue a solution to the problems I was having with my meds. Long story short is this, I wasn't thrilled with the meds I'm prescribed to prevent stroke or siezure. Let's just say I didn't stay on the schedule of two 500 mg pills per 24 hour day. Meltdown resulted and was really bad in an emotional way.
In any event, seems you can NOT stop taking the pills without some kind of an emotional monster coming to visit.Will be really intersted to find out what the procedure is when if ever, I'm able to stop taking them. Can't spell em but most call it Keppra.
Feelin' good and on track.
TB
In any event, seems you can NOT stop taking the pills without some kind of an emotional monster coming to visit.Will be really intersted to find out what the procedure is when if ever, I'm able to stop taking them. Can't spell em but most call it Keppra.
Feelin' good and on track.
TB
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Dealing with death
I should have died hundreds of times in 1970 and 71. I was prepared to die but was one of the lucky ones. Now, with malignant brain cancer, brain surgery, chemo therapy, radiation and all the predictions of my death between October of last year and June of this year, I figure I should have died already........again.
You know what, having a positive mental attitude is key to all that. I may die tomorrow but no one will say that I didn't have a positive mental attitude about all that and that I gave it one hell of a good show along the way. To me, that was the most important aspect of having a good time and being as comfortable as possible along the way.
Now, as it relates to that kind of thing, know that "not" publishing your day to day steps to take care of your final arrangements, can cause some trouble. So, with regard to that, everybody who has not done your last will and testiment, do it now.
I'm tired of thinking about death and I prefer to think about life, comfort, fun, camping, another motorsport project like an old motorscooter, an old car or possible retirement. I understand why so many veterans with malignant brain cancer blow their brains out. Only the strong survive and even among the strong, sometimes you can't defeat the negative shit that can run over you every day. The VA makes you go to suicide prevention, something that I didn't understand in the beginning. Now, I get it. This shit is enough to make you want to put a round through your head and say screw it all.
I've decided to continue with the positive mental attitude thing even if I have to move my motorhome to the bush and become a hermit. I just want some peace, comfort and fun. That's what I'm going to work on from this second forward.
Thank God for big brothers. Leland has agreed to handle all the final arrangements and effectively take a position of executor of my will or estate. Thanks big brother for the relief.
Tim Sr.
You know what, having a positive mental attitude is key to all that. I may die tomorrow but no one will say that I didn't have a positive mental attitude about all that and that I gave it one hell of a good show along the way. To me, that was the most important aspect of having a good time and being as comfortable as possible along the way.
Now, as it relates to that kind of thing, know that "not" publishing your day to day steps to take care of your final arrangements, can cause some trouble. So, with regard to that, everybody who has not done your last will and testiment, do it now.
I'm tired of thinking about death and I prefer to think about life, comfort, fun, camping, another motorsport project like an old motorscooter, an old car or possible retirement. I understand why so many veterans with malignant brain cancer blow their brains out. Only the strong survive and even among the strong, sometimes you can't defeat the negative shit that can run over you every day. The VA makes you go to suicide prevention, something that I didn't understand in the beginning. Now, I get it. This shit is enough to make you want to put a round through your head and say screw it all.
I've decided to continue with the positive mental attitude thing even if I have to move my motorhome to the bush and become a hermit. I just want some peace, comfort and fun. That's what I'm going to work on from this second forward.
Thank God for big brothers. Leland has agreed to handle all the final arrangements and effectively take a position of executor of my will or estate. Thanks big brother for the relief.
Tim Sr.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Smaller Demands Equal More Energy
Owners have sent help here and I no longer have the same physical and mental demands that I had when I was first released from the VA and returned to Leesville/Ft. Polk.
I had a few months where I was able to be first on the job and last to leave. Sometimes, during train unloads and high tonnage shipping days, that took 16 hours. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it but things changed when my stroke preventative script was added to daily meds.
I was losing my balance and fell down on the job several times. One time, I was in the office when I fell and it was witnessed by guys that worked in another Division. I'm sure they told the owners and thus the additional employee sent to relieve the pressure. (The owners are superb business managers and some mighty fine fellas. They've stuck with me even when I was only given 3 to 12 months to live. They never gave up on me).
This new script I have to take only added to the problems. I thought I was simply suffering from "Aye-Troe-Fee" or whatever it is that you call the condition that exists in your leg muscles when you've been in bed for most of 9 months. Basically, I wasn't using any of my leg muscles because for the most part, I was off my feet from June of 09 to March of this year.
I didn't know it at the time but the radiation damage to my skull included my inner ear. That apparently effected my equillibrium and in part, was the cause for the imbalances that found me on the floor or the ground after I lost my balance and didn't have the strength in my legs to stop the fall. When they added the anti-siezure meds, that's all it took to put me down on a regular basis. I don't know how many times I've fallen but it's alot.
I have to take 1,000 mg per day of a med that Kristin calls "Kepra". It's two 500 mg tablets and I try to take one right after work so I can sleep while it's working. Regardless of the method you use to take it, (how you time it), half of the 24 hour day, you're drowsy and dizzy.
Having failed at the physical side of the job, I'm trying a new approach. I don't take my pill until the afternoon after I've finished most of my work for the day. That way, I'm clear headed early in the day and don't have the instability I had earlier on in the mornings.
I can get up in the morning, drive to bid lettings, pick up the drawings and specifications for the job, drive to the job sites, estimate/confirm the amount of construction aggregates that are needed, determine the number of miles that exist between the stone yard and the job, log all of that information and do all of that with a little help from a new Garmin gps unit and one of the new guys who does some of the driving and almost all of the walking. Not a bad deal, huh!
In any event, the new set up allows me to take advantage of a much easier situation here. In addition to that, I'll be able to prove my worth in a relatively short period of time. The jobs that I'm bidding now are pretty big jobs and only require a few weeks to a month after bid submittal to begin.
Hopefully I'll be able to set some sales records and stand up to the rigors of the job that now have so many physical demands removed. Tim Jr tells me that the Kepra is "from now on" and if that's the case, I'm gonna be in trouble. Despite that, the owners will give me all the time I need to work it out and see if I can stand up to the demands while taking the meds.
As I've been saying, I've come to a Crossroad in my life and I'm pressing ahead with as much of a positive attitude as I can. If I can't make it, I'll have to get a note from the boss that I tried but just can't make it.
I've been told by the VA that they will accept that and change my Pension/Compensation to 100% disabled and I'll take an early retirement and focus on the rest of my life regardless of how long or short that may be.
I'm hangin' tough. More as all this unfolds.
Tim Sr.
I had a few months where I was able to be first on the job and last to leave. Sometimes, during train unloads and high tonnage shipping days, that took 16 hours. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it but things changed when my stroke preventative script was added to daily meds.
I was losing my balance and fell down on the job several times. One time, I was in the office when I fell and it was witnessed by guys that worked in another Division. I'm sure they told the owners and thus the additional employee sent to relieve the pressure. (The owners are superb business managers and some mighty fine fellas. They've stuck with me even when I was only given 3 to 12 months to live. They never gave up on me).
This new script I have to take only added to the problems. I thought I was simply suffering from "Aye-Troe-Fee" or whatever it is that you call the condition that exists in your leg muscles when you've been in bed for most of 9 months. Basically, I wasn't using any of my leg muscles because for the most part, I was off my feet from June of 09 to March of this year.
I didn't know it at the time but the radiation damage to my skull included my inner ear. That apparently effected my equillibrium and in part, was the cause for the imbalances that found me on the floor or the ground after I lost my balance and didn't have the strength in my legs to stop the fall. When they added the anti-siezure meds, that's all it took to put me down on a regular basis. I don't know how many times I've fallen but it's alot.
I have to take 1,000 mg per day of a med that Kristin calls "Kepra". It's two 500 mg tablets and I try to take one right after work so I can sleep while it's working. Regardless of the method you use to take it, (how you time it), half of the 24 hour day, you're drowsy and dizzy.
Having failed at the physical side of the job, I'm trying a new approach. I don't take my pill until the afternoon after I've finished most of my work for the day. That way, I'm clear headed early in the day and don't have the instability I had earlier on in the mornings.
I can get up in the morning, drive to bid lettings, pick up the drawings and specifications for the job, drive to the job sites, estimate/confirm the amount of construction aggregates that are needed, determine the number of miles that exist between the stone yard and the job, log all of that information and do all of that with a little help from a new Garmin gps unit and one of the new guys who does some of the driving and almost all of the walking. Not a bad deal, huh!
In any event, the new set up allows me to take advantage of a much easier situation here. In addition to that, I'll be able to prove my worth in a relatively short period of time. The jobs that I'm bidding now are pretty big jobs and only require a few weeks to a month after bid submittal to begin.
Hopefully I'll be able to set some sales records and stand up to the rigors of the job that now have so many physical demands removed. Tim Jr tells me that the Kepra is "from now on" and if that's the case, I'm gonna be in trouble. Despite that, the owners will give me all the time I need to work it out and see if I can stand up to the demands while taking the meds.
As I've been saying, I've come to a Crossroad in my life and I'm pressing ahead with as much of a positive attitude as I can. If I can't make it, I'll have to get a note from the boss that I tried but just can't make it.
I've been told by the VA that they will accept that and change my Pension/Compensation to 100% disabled and I'll take an early retirement and focus on the rest of my life regardless of how long or short that may be.
I'm hangin' tough. More as all this unfolds.
Tim Sr.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Last Quarter of 2010
I'm no longer trying to live the lie that I could return to work in a "totally uneffected manner after brain surgery".
I'm not saying it was a mistake or the wrong thing to do. I'm certain it was the most beneficial thing I could have possibly done after the ten month long battle I had from day one of the wreck till I walked out of the hospital on my last day of chemo therapy.
I will say that I should have done it in a different manner. Too many hours trying to catch up and too many obstacles along the way for a guy with the kind of wounds I suffered from the whole episode.
Most recently, it has been determined that I'm a high risk candidate for stroke or siezure. It's a brain swelling thing that causes some very small openings in the brain to close and cause stroke.
With no real way to explain it in medical terms, I will simply say that we have a number of canals in our brain that transfer information from the audio and visual receptors to our processing center and then on to the top of the brain. At the crown, there is an information center that allows the input to go down the spinal column and produce movements. That's why some people who have strokes lose the use of a limb.
In any event, I have given it the best shot I could but I just can't do the full time thing anymore. Despite that, I'm in fine shape financially and don't have to worry about any killer medical bills or anything like that (pardon the pun).
Will keep everybody posted on all this and prolly start doing a better job with the blog.
Tim
I'm not saying it was a mistake or the wrong thing to do. I'm certain it was the most beneficial thing I could have possibly done after the ten month long battle I had from day one of the wreck till I walked out of the hospital on my last day of chemo therapy.
I will say that I should have done it in a different manner. Too many hours trying to catch up and too many obstacles along the way for a guy with the kind of wounds I suffered from the whole episode.
Most recently, it has been determined that I'm a high risk candidate for stroke or siezure. It's a brain swelling thing that causes some very small openings in the brain to close and cause stroke.
With no real way to explain it in medical terms, I will simply say that we have a number of canals in our brain that transfer information from the audio and visual receptors to our processing center and then on to the top of the brain. At the crown, there is an information center that allows the input to go down the spinal column and produce movements. That's why some people who have strokes lose the use of a limb.
In any event, I have given it the best shot I could but I just can't do the full time thing anymore. Despite that, I'm in fine shape financially and don't have to worry about any killer medical bills or anything like that (pardon the pun).
Will keep everybody posted on all this and prolly start doing a better job with the blog.
Tim
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Nuther update September 26th
I'm doing remarkably well considering all the rules I've broken.
Oncologist told me to try and stay as mentally engaged in life as I could but he warned me about any attempts to try and return to work.
I guess I've been a renegade most of my life and in that arena, I think that most of the companies that I've consulted with or been hired by, knew that I would be a good choice for difficult situations. My old friend Laddie always said: "When the going gets really tough, call Tim".
I'll get into the problem areas on the next posting but suffice it to say that there are large changes in one's mental, physical and emotional make up when emergency brain surgery results in the removal of a part of one's right temporal lobe. Add to that, the effects of post surgery, chemo and radiation support drugs and sometimes you'll discover that returning to work and thinking that you'll be your old self again, is a form of denial. It's just not the same.
I absolutely don't get it when it comes to people who "do pills" that aren't prescription drugs ordered by a doctor. Talk about self inflicted wounds! There's nothing worse than being overpowered by something that you have no control in changing.
Not taking anti stroke medication isn't an option. Taking them and thinking you'll be normal is a mistake. It's almost like something that needs to go on your "Preflight Check List".
Don't go to work under the influence of post surgery stuff or siezure medication even if you really dig going to work.
In any event, I gave it a good shot but simply couldn't deal with the work load and the problems of a high energy stone yard with employee situations, sub standard performances of sub contractors and other issues found in the work place from time to time.
The docs were right when they issued caution after caution but I couldn't help myself as it related to an attempt to return to work after something as traumatic as the things I've been through since the brain surgery and all the other traumas from malignant cancer treatment to the body.
They retired me a month ago as a function of a disability situation with the VA system. I just can't operate like a 42 year old guy with 20 years experience. In 15 months, I would have made 40 years experience.
In any event, I have fallen down a number of times at work and unfortunately, I did so in front of way too many witnesses. It's a blessing that the bosses found out and sent me some relief to take the pressures off of me at work but sometimes, even that doesn't have an effect on something they can't change............my medical condition.
In any event, I'm out of the frying pan and into an area that should be much easier on me. As it relates to the day to day stuff, they want me to do the thing that they say I do best. That would be selling stone to the various construction companies involved in building everything imaginable requiring stone. That's a large arena but it's an arena that does not require me to order trains, schedule 1,000 ton per hour unloads, trucks, excavators and all the people involved in doing that on a timely schedule.
If this last "radiation damage procedure" on my inner ear works out, I will be much more steady on my feet and in a better position than I have been since I attempted to return to a normal working environment. I hope so but I'm certainly not complacent about that occurring without problems that may come in the future.
In any event, I wanted ya'll to know that I'm doing pretty well despite the problems I've had with my stability and balance.
PS.
I met Robert Mason in Ft. Worth at the VHPA convention in the early 90's and visited at length with him about many of the things in his life and mine. I had a signed copy of Chickenhawk but gave it to a friend.
Combat helicopter pilots who flew in the war have a brotherhood that is unbreakable. For those of us who did "the thing" in Cambodia, there's a rock solid relationship that exists even with those that we did not meet on a day to day basis but flew with us or next to us on ops at the big CHUP.
Oncologist told me to try and stay as mentally engaged in life as I could but he warned me about any attempts to try and return to work.
I guess I've been a renegade most of my life and in that arena, I think that most of the companies that I've consulted with or been hired by, knew that I would be a good choice for difficult situations. My old friend Laddie always said: "When the going gets really tough, call Tim".
I'll get into the problem areas on the next posting but suffice it to say that there are large changes in one's mental, physical and emotional make up when emergency brain surgery results in the removal of a part of one's right temporal lobe. Add to that, the effects of post surgery, chemo and radiation support drugs and sometimes you'll discover that returning to work and thinking that you'll be your old self again, is a form of denial. It's just not the same.
I absolutely don't get it when it comes to people who "do pills" that aren't prescription drugs ordered by a doctor. Talk about self inflicted wounds! There's nothing worse than being overpowered by something that you have no control in changing.
Not taking anti stroke medication isn't an option. Taking them and thinking you'll be normal is a mistake. It's almost like something that needs to go on your "Preflight Check List".
Don't go to work under the influence of post surgery stuff or siezure medication even if you really dig going to work.
In any event, I gave it a good shot but simply couldn't deal with the work load and the problems of a high energy stone yard with employee situations, sub standard performances of sub contractors and other issues found in the work place from time to time.
The docs were right when they issued caution after caution but I couldn't help myself as it related to an attempt to return to work after something as traumatic as the things I've been through since the brain surgery and all the other traumas from malignant cancer treatment to the body.
They retired me a month ago as a function of a disability situation with the VA system. I just can't operate like a 42 year old guy with 20 years experience. In 15 months, I would have made 40 years experience.
In any event, I have fallen down a number of times at work and unfortunately, I did so in front of way too many witnesses. It's a blessing that the bosses found out and sent me some relief to take the pressures off of me at work but sometimes, even that doesn't have an effect on something they can't change............my medical condition.
In any event, I'm out of the frying pan and into an area that should be much easier on me. As it relates to the day to day stuff, they want me to do the thing that they say I do best. That would be selling stone to the various construction companies involved in building everything imaginable requiring stone. That's a large arena but it's an arena that does not require me to order trains, schedule 1,000 ton per hour unloads, trucks, excavators and all the people involved in doing that on a timely schedule.
If this last "radiation damage procedure" on my inner ear works out, I will be much more steady on my feet and in a better position than I have been since I attempted to return to a normal working environment. I hope so but I'm certainly not complacent about that occurring without problems that may come in the future.
In any event, I wanted ya'll to know that I'm doing pretty well despite the problems I've had with my stability and balance.
PS.
I met Robert Mason in Ft. Worth at the VHPA convention in the early 90's and visited at length with him about many of the things in his life and mine. I had a signed copy of Chickenhawk but gave it to a friend.
Combat helicopter pilots who flew in the war have a brotherhood that is unbreakable. For those of us who did "the thing" in Cambodia, there's a rock solid relationship that exists even with those that we did not meet on a day to day basis but flew with us or next to us on ops at the big CHUP.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Anybody still reading this blog
I've made a pretty good attempt at returning to work but it hasn't been easy and I've had some difficulties in the midst of all that. Been off the site for a while, for a number of reasons. Let me know if you want me to continue. tb
Sunday, August 29, 2010
WiFi death by electrocution
Good ole South Louisiana thunderstorms came to visit and brought some of the best IFR conditions available. Lightnin' Bolt came to visit the office and took out the scale, the computer, the modem, the wifi and then, just to make sure things were typically FUBAR, it then took out the phone.
It seemed as though I was without computer for a million years but it really was closer to a week. When I managed to get it all mucked out, I found over 500 emails in my inbox. Whew. It's taking some time but I'm gettin' r done.
Mo, good to see you on here. Jim, crab claws my treat next time. Bernie, read MO's comment. Curt, I'm hangin tough as I know how to hang for a guy with only half a brain.
I have the 1,000 milligram per day "stoned" condition going on and am trying to get that adjusted at the Docs. This stuff is bad to the bone. It's pretty bad to fall down on the job but to do that in front of everybody is embarrassing to say the least.
Mo, use Leesville during the week for your approach plate or Shreveport on the week ends.
It seemed as though I was without computer for a million years but it really was closer to a week. When I managed to get it all mucked out, I found over 500 emails in my inbox. Whew. It's taking some time but I'm gettin' r done.
Mo, good to see you on here. Jim, crab claws my treat next time. Bernie, read MO's comment. Curt, I'm hangin tough as I know how to hang for a guy with only half a brain.
I have the 1,000 milligram per day "stoned" condition going on and am trying to get that adjusted at the Docs. This stuff is bad to the bone. It's pretty bad to fall down on the job but to do that in front of everybody is embarrassing to say the least.
Mo, use Leesville during the week for your approach plate or Shreveport on the week ends.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Sorry about no postings
Am taking a new drug that stops siezures and strokes. Really knocks the sox off a guy but I'm trying to manage that as best I can. Just don't have the focus I need right now as I'm pretty beat up with fatigue from all the 1,000 mg per day doses. Boss said he was going to get me some help and I can back off the work schedule as a result of that.
More later.
Tim
More later.
Tim
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Now in the 2% group
Docs reviewed brain scan and found an area of concern where the temporal lobe sends information to a "drain pipe" looking hole where signals are sent to my spine. They measured the opening before and after surgery. The opening was 0.083 cm and now, in the interest of making sure it doesn't close and cause a siezure, I'm on 1,000 mg per day of Levetiracetam.
They say that I am a medical "oddity" and my case should be in a book.
They've more or less medically retired me and I'm already recieving my retirement check every month. More later.
I've moved from 95% die within 2 to 12 months, to 5% survive more than 15 months and then 2% live a long life.
Tim
They say that I am a medical "oddity" and my case should be in a book.
They've more or less medically retired me and I'm already recieving my retirement check every month. More later.
I've moved from 95% die within 2 to 12 months, to 5% survive more than 15 months and then 2% live a long life.
Tim
Sunday, June 20, 2010
I'm in the 5% group now.
95% of the glioblastoma multiform cancer victims die within 3 to 12 months. Remember last year on Father's Day when I had the wreck and they found the tumor? Well, today made a year for me. Now, I'm off the 95% list and on the 5% list. Looks like I'm gonna be around a long time.
I had a headache and, as per doctor's orders, I reported to the emergency room this morning. I ended up having an emergency catscan to see what the problem was and I'm happy to announce that it appears that there's been no change at all and another tumor wasn't the cause of the headaches. Kristin and Tim Jr thought it might be my new script for eyeglasses. If you've ever changed, you'll know what I'm talking about.
Oooooohhhh Raahhhhhhhhh.
Sr.
I had a headache and, as per doctor's orders, I reported to the emergency room this morning. I ended up having an emergency catscan to see what the problem was and I'm happy to announce that it appears that there's been no change at all and another tumor wasn't the cause of the headaches. Kristin and Tim Jr thought it might be my new script for eyeglasses. If you've ever changed, you'll know what I'm talking about.
Oooooohhhh Raahhhhhhhhh.
Sr.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Rail yard in Leesville
Thought I'd attempt to send a picture of the rail yard in Leesville. Don't know if this is going to work but here's a shot at it. This is just a couple of miles from Ft. Polk where I took basic training.
Sr.
Sr.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Tim Jr's Grandfather
I went to the nursing home yesterday to visit Tim Jr's grandfather. I bought him a dvd player so he could watch dvd's that Tim Jr bought him. They cover the "Pacific" theatre where General McGovern served when he was a fresh Lt in the Army. You should have seen his face. He was beaming.
I bought a card for him that said: "To a great American and the best grandfather on the planet". It did my soul good to see that face light up and that big grin! He's a cool guy who's cool index is off the chart.
Nothing better than making a World War II vet smile like a kid at a candy store!
Tim Sr.
I bought a card for him that said: "To a great American and the best grandfather on the planet". It did my soul good to see that face light up and that big grin! He's a cool guy who's cool index is off the chart.
Nothing better than making a World War II vet smile like a kid at a candy store!
Tim Sr.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Half a brain photo
How's that for a picture change? Chemo and radiation will sure put some "ugly" on a guy. Despite the brain surgery, from the front, you can't really tell there is a dent in the side of my head. Joey says that "chicks dig guys with scars" so I guess it will all work out in the end.
I am doing really well in the sick department. No stomach trouble at all. I have these follow up appointments at the VA that take some time but that's a heck of a lot better than doing the chemo boogie!
I lost my right eye and I have an eye appointment at 8 am this morning so I gotta hit it. I have a head appointment Wednesday that I understand will last all day long. Don't have a clue why it will take all day to get r' done, but I'm being very, very careful to follow their instructions to the "T" and not missing an appointment. Can not afford to lose my benefits as a result of not complying with their orders so I keep doing exactly what they say.
I moved my motorhome 120 miles south of Shreveport and am doing my "rehab" down there. You can google "Toledo Bend Dam" and kinda get an idea of the terrain.
I get to be surrounded by all my buddies, stay mentally engaged and play the stone yard game, too. I like it a lot and it does wonders for a guy's self esteem to know that he's not a complete invalid even though the Chief of Staff of Oncology tells me that my brain scan indicates: "There's nothing up there". My big brother told me that he could have saved all that catscan money as he could have told the Doc that there hasn't been anything up there for years. Oh well.
I am doing really well in the sick department. No stomach trouble at all. I have these follow up appointments at the VA that take some time but that's a heck of a lot better than doing the chemo boogie!
I lost my right eye and I have an eye appointment at 8 am this morning so I gotta hit it. I have a head appointment Wednesday that I understand will last all day long. Don't have a clue why it will take all day to get r' done, but I'm being very, very careful to follow their instructions to the "T" and not missing an appointment. Can not afford to lose my benefits as a result of not complying with their orders so I keep doing exactly what they say.
I moved my motorhome 120 miles south of Shreveport and am doing my "rehab" down there. You can google "Toledo Bend Dam" and kinda get an idea of the terrain.
I get to be surrounded by all my buddies, stay mentally engaged and play the stone yard game, too. I like it a lot and it does wonders for a guy's self esteem to know that he's not a complete invalid even though the Chief of Staff of Oncology tells me that my brain scan indicates: "There's nothing up there". My big brother told me that he could have saved all that catscan money as he could have told the Doc that there hasn't been anything up there for years. Oh well.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Picture posting
If I could figure out how to change the photo on the front page of the blog, I would do it. Sorry.
Doing very well so far. No barforama for roughly five weeks. Feeling super good about that. Have eye doctor appt tomorrow for new glasses. Lost my right eye completely so there will be no more flying for me. Not that I was doing any anyway but at least I had the ability to go fly if I wanted to.
Will let ya'll know whats up as time goes on. Sorry it's been a while since I posted but I've been in Leesville and haven't had wifi at the camp.
Tim Sr.
Doing very well so far. No barforama for roughly five weeks. Feeling super good about that. Have eye doctor appt tomorrow for new glasses. Lost my right eye completely so there will be no more flying for me. Not that I was doing any anyway but at least I had the ability to go fly if I wanted to.
Will let ya'll know whats up as time goes on. Sorry it's been a while since I posted but I've been in Leesville and haven't had wifi at the camp.
Tim Sr.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Cancer Free
Yesterday's catscan report shows me to be cancer free. I can't tell you what a relief that has been for all of us especially my son and my family. Thanks for all the support and well wishes. Will let you know what the next inspection looks like and what I have to do to stay ahead of this.
Sr.
Sr.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Brainscan completed today.
Tim Jr spent 6 hours hauling me all over hell's half acre today but I finally made it through the catscan with contrast. Tim says the contrast needle is bigger than the regular needle they use for the typical blood test. I had 4 "stabs" today and am still wearing the little gauze pads and band aid like scotch tape to affix the gauze.
Spent from 8 am to roughly 9:20 doing my benefit thing with the Disabled American Vets office here in town. I understand that all the paper work has been completed and I'm finished proving that I was in Vietnam and Cambodia as well as some of the missions I went on. That's been months and months of agony. Always wanted to ask one of them: "what were you doing on August 12th of 1970"?
I have another blood test and Oncology hearing Monday but will finished with all of that by maybe 3 pm and can return to the much improved day to day life of being off chemo. Man, it is so cool to not puke!
That's it so far. Will let you know what's up when I get the word.
Sr.
Spent from 8 am to roughly 9:20 doing my benefit thing with the Disabled American Vets office here in town. I understand that all the paper work has been completed and I'm finished proving that I was in Vietnam and Cambodia as well as some of the missions I went on. That's been months and months of agony. Always wanted to ask one of them: "what were you doing on August 12th of 1970"?
I have another blood test and Oncology hearing Monday but will finished with all of that by maybe 3 pm and can return to the much improved day to day life of being off chemo. Man, it is so cool to not puke!
That's it so far. Will let you know what's up when I get the word.
Sr.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
brainscan Monday
Feelin' good and have been off chemo long enough not to have played "Commode Hug" for 3 weeks this coming Tuesday..........I think. I have the catscan appointment Monday that will prove that I'm cancer free or it's back in the brain or spreading somewhere else.
Am real glad to be stomach free so to speak. I'm up to 187 pounds from a low of 177. That's 54 pounds lost when compared to my weight when I started which was 231. I'm really high in spirits and have confidence that I'm cancer free. I just don't see how you can feel this good if you have cancer. It's either that or I'm so freaked out about not puking, I don't know I'm sick. In any event, I'm feelin' good and movin the motorhome back south Monday after the docs finish messin' with me. Will publish the news as soon as I get it.
Curt, thanks buddy!
Tim Sr.
Am real glad to be stomach free so to speak. I'm up to 187 pounds from a low of 177. That's 54 pounds lost when compared to my weight when I started which was 231. I'm really high in spirits and have confidence that I'm cancer free. I just don't see how you can feel this good if you have cancer. It's either that or I'm so freaked out about not puking, I don't know I'm sick. In any event, I'm feelin' good and movin the motorhome back south Monday after the docs finish messin' with me. Will publish the news as soon as I get it.
Curt, thanks buddy!
Tim Sr.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Off and running.
Hey everybody,
I'm off chemo now and feeling so much better. I am no longer rushing to the bathroom to do the barf maneuver as the first act of each day.
I'm starting to gain a little weight. I dropped from 231 to a low of 177 but am up to 187 right now. That's a 54 pound weight loss from day one of radiation to completion of chemo. Right now, I'm down 44 pounds which is still a tad light for a guy that's 6'3" tall. I hope to tone up a bit and simply get my strength back and some weight from muscle tone, not pigging out.
Doc said that spending that much time in a hospital and then the rest of the time in bed or on the couch has weakened my muscles and caused weight loss in arms, legs and my six pack which is more like a can of empty bottles than anything you would describe as toned.
Jay and Woody told me I could come back to work on a light schedule. Last week, I did that. Most of the time was spent driving to see different customers so I wasn't pushing it. Just riding down the road with the radio on and the air conditioner running as I made my way to each client's office.
The rest of the time was spent "talking" to customers and not doing anything of a physically demanding nature. One day I made it from 7:30 am to 4:30 pm with no trouble. I consider myself as someone who has "graduated" from the course of malignant cancer and along the way, I did a minor in chemo and radiation.
Speaking of graduation, 40 years ago yesterday, I graduated. My mom and my Aunt Nell drove from Shreveport to Alabama to attend ceremonies. Two years later I returned to my old job and have been doing the same thing for 38 years. Not nearly as dangerous as flying in Cambodia and I haven't been shot at on the job a single time. Was a good career choice for me.
I have a brain scan due on the 26th or maybe the 29th and will have to return to the hospital once a month for check ups to insure that the cancer isn't spreading. My last cat scan shows no cancer evident in the right temporal lobe area.
I've lost my right eye. I had cataract surgery in the right eye years ago but the vision was corrected to 20/40. Now, it's totally gone. Can't see anything except on the extreme periferral side of the right eye. I've flown my last flight as pilot in command but I've accepted that and am not having a problem knowing that I'll never fly again.
As a last note, let me say this. All of you guys that flew with us in the Vietnam and Cambodia, get your ass down to the VA hospital and get yourself registered. Take the time to do that or at least get on line and register. When you do that, go get tested for Agent Orange Exposure. If they give you any lip, you can download the data from each AO (area of operations) that you flew and and show them how many millions of gallons was sprayed in all 4 Corps of Vietnam. You can actually go to your home bases in RVN and see how many gallons were sprayed where you were.
When you get all that done, have them test you for Agent Orange and then get them to give you a catscan for any evidence of tumors caused by the toxin in Agent Orange. If it hadn't been for the wreck and the fact that I showed up at the hospital unconscious, I never would have discovered the brain tumor and would already be dead.
Early detection is the key. Hang tough, I'll send an update when I get the news back from the catscan.
Sr.
I'm off chemo now and feeling so much better. I am no longer rushing to the bathroom to do the barf maneuver as the first act of each day.
I'm starting to gain a little weight. I dropped from 231 to a low of 177 but am up to 187 right now. That's a 54 pound weight loss from day one of radiation to completion of chemo. Right now, I'm down 44 pounds which is still a tad light for a guy that's 6'3" tall. I hope to tone up a bit and simply get my strength back and some weight from muscle tone, not pigging out.
Doc said that spending that much time in a hospital and then the rest of the time in bed or on the couch has weakened my muscles and caused weight loss in arms, legs and my six pack which is more like a can of empty bottles than anything you would describe as toned.
Jay and Woody told me I could come back to work on a light schedule. Last week, I did that. Most of the time was spent driving to see different customers so I wasn't pushing it. Just riding down the road with the radio on and the air conditioner running as I made my way to each client's office.
The rest of the time was spent "talking" to customers and not doing anything of a physically demanding nature. One day I made it from 7:30 am to 4:30 pm with no trouble. I consider myself as someone who has "graduated" from the course of malignant cancer and along the way, I did a minor in chemo and radiation.
Speaking of graduation, 40 years ago yesterday, I graduated. My mom and my Aunt Nell drove from Shreveport to Alabama to attend ceremonies. Two years later I returned to my old job and have been doing the same thing for 38 years. Not nearly as dangerous as flying in Cambodia and I haven't been shot at on the job a single time. Was a good career choice for me.
I have a brain scan due on the 26th or maybe the 29th and will have to return to the hospital once a month for check ups to insure that the cancer isn't spreading. My last cat scan shows no cancer evident in the right temporal lobe area.
I've lost my right eye. I had cataract surgery in the right eye years ago but the vision was corrected to 20/40. Now, it's totally gone. Can't see anything except on the extreme periferral side of the right eye. I've flown my last flight as pilot in command but I've accepted that and am not having a problem knowing that I'll never fly again.
As a last note, let me say this. All of you guys that flew with us in the Vietnam and Cambodia, get your ass down to the VA hospital and get yourself registered. Take the time to do that or at least get on line and register. When you do that, go get tested for Agent Orange Exposure. If they give you any lip, you can download the data from each AO (area of operations) that you flew and and show them how many millions of gallons was sprayed in all 4 Corps of Vietnam. You can actually go to your home bases in RVN and see how many gallons were sprayed where you were.
When you get all that done, have them test you for Agent Orange and then get them to give you a catscan for any evidence of tumors caused by the toxin in Agent Orange. If it hadn't been for the wreck and the fact that I showed up at the hospital unconscious, I never would have discovered the brain tumor and would already be dead.
Early detection is the key. Hang tough, I'll send an update when I get the news back from the catscan.
Sr.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Last appointment, T minus 48 hours
My last appointment at the VA hospital will come at 1 pm Friday. I'll have to come back on a once a month schedule to insure that the cancer is not spreading but I will NOT have to take chemo during this off period. I'm done with chemo.
I've started gaining weight and am up to 188 pounds. That's only 43 pounds lost from day one of radiation and chemo. I can stay at 188 as far as I'm concerned even though, at 6'3", I may look a bit thin.
Thanks to all for putting up with the madness of the ten month long battle. Yeee Haaa!
Sr.
I've started gaining weight and am up to 188 pounds. That's only 43 pounds lost from day one of radiation and chemo. I can stay at 188 as far as I'm concerned even though, at 6'3", I may look a bit thin.
Thanks to all for putting up with the madness of the ten month long battle. Yeee Haaa!
Sr.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Easter Sunday
Not sick so far today. Got up, had a small sensation that I would be huggin' the commode so I took Ondansetron and went back to bed for an hour. I know I'm not finished with the withdrawl but I'm damn sure finished with chemo and that's what counts. Any further nausea will be some of the "last" nausea that I'm going to endure because I'm completely done with chemo.
Still down but I'm slowly but surely comin' up!
Happy Easter to all.
Sr.
Still down but I'm slowly but surely comin' up!
Happy Easter to all.
Sr.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Withdrawl, Day 1.
Got up at 6:30 this morning but immediately went back to bed to help settle down the stomach. Stayed in bed till 10:20, got up, took an Ondansetron and took an easy trip to the shower. Down to 182 pounds from 231. This will be the last sick period from withdrawl.
Sr.
Sr.
Friday, April 2, 2010
The Last Day from Hell
It started early this morning, just a few minutes after I woke up. I sent a text to Tim Jr telling him I was bad sick and he was here in less than two minutes. I'd forgotten that he had the day off.
Jr says that today is the last day I'll puke from taking chemo. I will certainly be sick from the withdrawl but that's a short term sick. I'll make a post when I feel better. sr
Jr says that today is the last day I'll puke from taking chemo. I will certainly be sick from the withdrawl but that's a short term sick. I'll make a post when I feel better. sr
Monday, March 29, 2010
5 out of 24
Being sick for 5 hours out of 24 ain't that bad a gig when you trade it for 19 hours of peace and serenity.
Tim Jr took me for a ride to get some fresh air at 6 pm. We went through the drive through window at the "Hickory Hut" and bought a plate of beans, cole slaw and a chopped beef sandwhich. As gross as it sounds, I can handle that cause it's so easy to deal with if my stomach can't handle it.
When he came in from work, I was sick as a dog. He said: "Pop, this is like the Thrilla in Manilla. You only have four more days to go and it will be the last 4 rounds and you are completlely finished".
He's right. I'm pretty weak but I feel like I can make the last 4 days of this with very little problem.
Hangin tough. Hey, Curt.
Sr.
Tim Jr took me for a ride to get some fresh air at 6 pm. We went through the drive through window at the "Hickory Hut" and bought a plate of beans, cole slaw and a chopped beef sandwhich. As gross as it sounds, I can handle that cause it's so easy to deal with if my stomach can't handle it.
When he came in from work, I was sick as a dog. He said: "Pop, this is like the Thrilla in Manilla. You only have four more days to go and it will be the last 4 rounds and you are completlely finished".
He's right. I'm pretty weak but I feel like I can make the last 4 days of this with very little problem.
Hangin tough. Hey, Curt.
Sr.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
T minus 17 hours.
I'm only 17 hours away from day one of the "LAST" phase of chemo. I was suppossed to start it all this coming Monday and do double doseages till Friday but they've changed it to tomorrow instead.
This particular withdrawl period has had more ups and downs than any other but the nausea hasn't been as violent as the one I wrote about in a previous post where I hugged the toilet 21 times in a 24 hour period. That was the worst or at least, the most violent of all withdrawl periods.
I'm gonna be sick tomorrow and Saturday but maybe okay by Sunday so I'll make a post then.
Ready to make that last gun run on these suckers. Even after a "nuke" somebody has to go in and clean up the straglers. Got plenty of ammo and my finger is on the mini gun switch.
Sr.
This particular withdrawl period has had more ups and downs than any other but the nausea hasn't been as violent as the one I wrote about in a previous post where I hugged the toilet 21 times in a 24 hour period. That was the worst or at least, the most violent of all withdrawl periods.
I'm gonna be sick tomorrow and Saturday but maybe okay by Sunday so I'll make a post then.
Ready to make that last gun run on these suckers. Even after a "nuke" somebody has to go in and clean up the straglers. Got plenty of ammo and my finger is on the mini gun switch.
Sr.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Withdrawl
I tend not to post much when I'm not doing that well. Over the past week I've been having a bit of nausea and dry heaves so I've just let the posting go un-addressed. I'm doing better today so I thought I'd make an entry.
First of all, to those who have sent personal emails wondering what's wrong, again, I just lay off the reports until I have something really positive to say. Today, I've been up two and a half hours and haven't had the slightest problem with the stomach. It's just part of the body's way to get rid of the poison that comes with chemo therapy.
In talking with others who have made it all the way through chemo and withdrawl and haven't had to go back, I find comfort in knowing that after a short time, I'll quit what seems to be the never ending commode hugging maneuver.
My weight continues to drop and I'm roughly 40 pounds lighter than I was on day one of radiation and chemo. Despite that, I'm still kicking, just not kicking as high. Will coontinue to fight like hell and look to the future in a promising manner.
Special thanks to Phil for repeatedly coming by and taking me to eat. Would probably wieght 50 pounds less if it weren't for him. Thanks also to Jay and Laura for continued belief and support. Thanks also to Woody, Hubert, Tommy and family.
sr.
First of all, to those who have sent personal emails wondering what's wrong, again, I just lay off the reports until I have something really positive to say. Today, I've been up two and a half hours and haven't had the slightest problem with the stomach. It's just part of the body's way to get rid of the poison that comes with chemo therapy.
In talking with others who have made it all the way through chemo and withdrawl and haven't had to go back, I find comfort in knowing that after a short time, I'll quit what seems to be the never ending commode hugging maneuver.
My weight continues to drop and I'm roughly 40 pounds lighter than I was on day one of radiation and chemo. Despite that, I'm still kicking, just not kicking as high. Will coontinue to fight like hell and look to the future in a promising manner.
Special thanks to Phil for repeatedly coming by and taking me to eat. Would probably wieght 50 pounds less if it weren't for him. Thanks also to Jay and Laura for continued belief and support. Thanks also to Woody, Hubert, Tommy and family.
sr.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I don't get it.
Can't seem to grasp the logic behind being off chemo and continuing with this dry heaves bidness.
Not a clue to explain why I feel so good for one or two days in a row and then get sick as soon as I wake up. I do know that morning's are hell. For some reason, mandates to be at the hospital by 7:30 a.m. almost always cause me more stomach trouble than when they let me set my own pace and go to Oncology after breakfast.
In any event, this is all going to be over with soon. My last phase of chemo ends on the 4th of this coming month. After that, I'm free.
Drugs suck!
Sr.
Not a clue to explain why I feel so good for one or two days in a row and then get sick as soon as I wake up. I do know that morning's are hell. For some reason, mandates to be at the hospital by 7:30 a.m. almost always cause me more stomach trouble than when they let me set my own pace and go to Oncology after breakfast.
In any event, this is all going to be over with soon. My last phase of chemo ends on the 4th of this coming month. After that, I'm free.
Drugs suck!
Sr.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Dry heaves again.
Don't know what's wrong this time but the dry heaves hit again this morning. Not real bad but happened as I was preparing to take the Ondansetron first thing after waking up. Pretty tired of all that but deep down inside I know that these stomach episodes will stop when I finish the last phase of chemo and have the required time to flush the system of all the Temozolomide. I haven't been overdoing it and I've been real careful not to eat too much.
It's really cool to re-engaged with work even if it's on a small scale. I worked ten hours one day last week but 8 1/2 hours of that was getting ready, driving the round trip to Leesville and back and then the meetings. I'm sure it'll get better.
Seems as though I'm going to have to fight this stomach today. Here it comes again. Gotta go.
Sr.
It's really cool to re-engaged with work even if it's on a small scale. I worked ten hours one day last week but 8 1/2 hours of that was getting ready, driving the round trip to Leesville and back and then the meetings. I'm sure it'll get better.
Seems as though I'm going to have to fight this stomach today. Here it comes again. Gotta go.
Sr.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Doctor's orders......sometimes
I had two wonderful days this week.
I drove to Leesville on Thursday and met with all my friends there, had several discussions with Jay about bidness matters and had a follow up meeting in Shreveport the day after that with a customer who also attended the meeting in Leesville.
I was not sick at all at any time during those two days and I honored Woody's orders to "not overdo it". Woody, if you are reading this, the dry heaves come from the Temozolomide not work. I didn't pick up anything heavier than a pencil and a glass of tea.
This morning however, the damn dry heaves hit at 7:45 a.m. It's just the freak nature of drug withdrawl from chemo and it never, ever announces it's arrival. One second you're planning to get out of the house and go visit Aunt Margie or Aunt Grace and the next minute you're doing the dry heave maneuver.
Mighty frustrating but none the less, I know that I can go back to work on a light schedule and do very well. Maybe I shouldn't go in until after I've had my Ondansetron and a little breakfast.
That's it for today. It's 9:30 and I'm already over the stomach problem and have actually had a cup of coffee to prove it.
Thanks to Woody and Jay for letting me come back for a day even though I have one more chemotherapy phase to go through.
Hello to Linda Barron, Mary Turner and Janette Brown from Linda's time at Byrd. It's so nice to hear from girls that used to hang out with Linda when they were teenagers.
Sr.
I drove to Leesville on Thursday and met with all my friends there, had several discussions with Jay about bidness matters and had a follow up meeting in Shreveport the day after that with a customer who also attended the meeting in Leesville.
I was not sick at all at any time during those two days and I honored Woody's orders to "not overdo it". Woody, if you are reading this, the dry heaves come from the Temozolomide not work. I didn't pick up anything heavier than a pencil and a glass of tea.
This morning however, the damn dry heaves hit at 7:45 a.m. It's just the freak nature of drug withdrawl from chemo and it never, ever announces it's arrival. One second you're planning to get out of the house and go visit Aunt Margie or Aunt Grace and the next minute you're doing the dry heave maneuver.
Mighty frustrating but none the less, I know that I can go back to work on a light schedule and do very well. Maybe I shouldn't go in until after I've had my Ondansetron and a little breakfast.
That's it for today. It's 9:30 and I'm already over the stomach problem and have actually had a cup of coffee to prove it.
Thanks to Woody and Jay for letting me come back for a day even though I have one more chemotherapy phase to go through.
Hello to Linda Barron, Mary Turner and Janette Brown from Linda's time at Byrd. It's so nice to hear from girls that used to hang out with Linda when they were teenagers.
Sr.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Yawn, stretch, Ondansetron and motorhome
Taking the Ondansetron as soon as you wake up is the only way to go. Almost the instant you wake up you can tell that something is wrong with your stomach. Take a hit then check your email.............. is the policy here. It's working.
My new 30 amp transformer was installed in the motorhome yesterday. It lets me plug into any 110 volt electrical outlet and operate all the 12 volt systems in the bus like water, alarm clock, and lights without discharging my 12 volt batteries. Was a $441.00 component and worth every penny of it.
I already had a new air ride suspension upgrade installed. Joey did that. It included a new air compressor and all the valve work to distribute the air to each of four air bags.
When Tommy and Kevin moved the bus from Shady Lake to the stone yard in Leesville, Joey and Tim Jr went down there to get it. I was still in bed on a full time basis back then and couldn't even go along for the ride. Tommy had a new set of vee belts installed as well as a new water pump for the 454 big block Chevy engine. IT only has 55,000 miles on it even though I've been using it on jobs for years.
IT's the best vehicular investment I've ever made. Has paid for itself with savings by not renting hotel rooms.
When you build asphalt plants, barge unloading facilities, sand and gravel plants, rock quarries, rail road spurs and stone yards, it's the only way to go.
This latest upgrade brings the total restoration job to $4,000.00 since Joey and Tim went to get it. I've already added a 26" HDTV with a 5 LNB dish for Direct TV. It has 2 roof mounted air conditioning systems, central heat, fridge and freezer plus 4 beds. One is a full size, one is a couch that converts, one is a single made when two seats are rotated to face each other and then reclined to form the bed and the last one is made by dropping the table top on the dinette to make a bed that someone who is 5'9" or shorter, can sleep in. Gas stove for cooking and hot water plus a full sized shower makes it mighty comfortable. Great for camping in style. There's a picture of it on the bottom of page on of the blog. It even has 3 clothes closets plus lots of storage area in the basement compartments.
All I have left to do is get it inspected and apply the new stickers to the liscense plate. Then I'll move it back to Leesville or anywhere Jay, Woody and Hubert need me to go. I'm gonna kick this cancer's ass and get on with living.
As a last note, I wanted to say hello to Jim Angelini. I noticed he's on the members list below. Jim and I served together with the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment in Vietnam. He's the real deal. Arnold Swartzenneger doesn't have anything on Jim. Jim could have been any of those guys in "Predator". Jim, welcome aboard and best wishes for an easy time during your time of mourning for your dad.
Glad you're here.
Just wanted to let you guys know I'm not having to stay in bed all day long or even on the couch every minute of the day. The above constitutes the to do list for me to prepare for my return to the living.
Sr.
My new 30 amp transformer was installed in the motorhome yesterday. It lets me plug into any 110 volt electrical outlet and operate all the 12 volt systems in the bus like water, alarm clock, and lights without discharging my 12 volt batteries. Was a $441.00 component and worth every penny of it.
I already had a new air ride suspension upgrade installed. Joey did that. It included a new air compressor and all the valve work to distribute the air to each of four air bags.
When Tommy and Kevin moved the bus from Shady Lake to the stone yard in Leesville, Joey and Tim Jr went down there to get it. I was still in bed on a full time basis back then and couldn't even go along for the ride. Tommy had a new set of vee belts installed as well as a new water pump for the 454 big block Chevy engine. IT only has 55,000 miles on it even though I've been using it on jobs for years.
IT's the best vehicular investment I've ever made. Has paid for itself with savings by not renting hotel rooms.
When you build asphalt plants, barge unloading facilities, sand and gravel plants, rock quarries, rail road spurs and stone yards, it's the only way to go.
This latest upgrade brings the total restoration job to $4,000.00 since Joey and Tim went to get it. I've already added a 26" HDTV with a 5 LNB dish for Direct TV. It has 2 roof mounted air conditioning systems, central heat, fridge and freezer plus 4 beds. One is a full size, one is a couch that converts, one is a single made when two seats are rotated to face each other and then reclined to form the bed and the last one is made by dropping the table top on the dinette to make a bed that someone who is 5'9" or shorter, can sleep in. Gas stove for cooking and hot water plus a full sized shower makes it mighty comfortable. Great for camping in style. There's a picture of it on the bottom of page on of the blog. It even has 3 clothes closets plus lots of storage area in the basement compartments.
All I have left to do is get it inspected and apply the new stickers to the liscense plate. Then I'll move it back to Leesville or anywhere Jay, Woody and Hubert need me to go. I'm gonna kick this cancer's ass and get on with living.
As a last note, I wanted to say hello to Jim Angelini. I noticed he's on the members list below. Jim and I served together with the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment in Vietnam. He's the real deal. Arnold Swartzenneger doesn't have anything on Jim. Jim could have been any of those guys in "Predator". Jim, welcome aboard and best wishes for an easy time during your time of mourning for your dad.
Glad you're here.
Just wanted to let you guys know I'm not having to stay in bed all day long or even on the couch every minute of the day. The above constitutes the to do list for me to prepare for my return to the living.
Sr.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Much better withdrawl period going on here.
IT seems that the end of treatment brings with it a better level of coping with the drugs. I hit the Ondansetron almost immediately upon waking up and doing that relieves the nausea. That's been the toughest part so far.
I'm able to make some kind of progress in the morning time now compared to previous withdrawl periods where I was pretty much in bed or on the couch all day long. I can also focus on technical matters for work where before, I was so blitzed things would become fuzzy and out of focus............kinda like the Officer's Club in Long Binh.......if you get my drift.
At any rate, I'm doing a whole lot better than I was during the last phase of chemo and withdrawl. That was the worst period of all and I'm really, really paying attention to the support drugs to insure that I eliminate as much of the nausea as possible. That's it for now. Motorhome update report tomorrow.
Hey Bernie.
Sr.
I'm able to make some kind of progress in the morning time now compared to previous withdrawl periods where I was pretty much in bed or on the couch all day long. I can also focus on technical matters for work where before, I was so blitzed things would become fuzzy and out of focus............kinda like the Officer's Club in Long Binh.......if you get my drift.
At any rate, I'm doing a whole lot better than I was during the last phase of chemo and withdrawl. That was the worst period of all and I'm really, really paying attention to the support drugs to insure that I eliminate as much of the nausea as possible. That's it for now. Motorhome update report tomorrow.
Hey Bernie.
Sr.
Monday, March 8, 2010
No nausea
Took Ondansetron at 7:30 this morning and as of 10:30 am this morning, I'm not sick at all. Generally, the withdrawl has been pretty tough. Hopefully, staying loaded with Ondansetron may do the trick.
Leland left this morning and is headed back to Austin. Had a great visit with him.
Will keep ya'll in the loop. Almost finished and ready to roll.
Sr.
Leland left this morning and is headed back to Austin. Had a great visit with him.
Will keep ya'll in the loop. Almost finished and ready to roll.
Sr.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Dry heaves on day 1 of withdrawl
Sick yesterday, sick this morning. Just can't seem to figure out how to totally defeat this nausea thing. Woke up at 8:20 and just as soon as I put both feet on the ground and stood up, the dry heaves came to visit.
On the "upside" of all that, I should be getting the "Crown Prince of Commode Hugging" award as I have surely amassed a number of events to reach that lofty award.
Feeling better. Slept most of the day and when I woke up, I took a couple of hits of stomach stuff and haven't been nauseaous once. Of course, I'm so stoned, I probably wouldn't remember it if I had. Kristin knows why those meds make me woozy but I forgot the answer to that one,too. It's one of those nine dollar drug words. We call it "Ahna Sonna Konna Pahn" from the old three stooges movie.
Leland had a church thing (retreat) to do in Little Rock this week end so he's just come in and will spend the night with Tim and Kristin before heading out to Austin tomorrow morning. Is always good to see big brother. Wow, it's a house full of combat vets, Tim Jr, Persian Gulf, me, South Vietnam, Leland,USMC Chu Li, 1968. Testosterone heaven where all solutions to the current problems we have, are solved with such simplicity, the military way.
Hangin tough.
Sr.
On the "upside" of all that, I should be getting the "Crown Prince of Commode Hugging" award as I have surely amassed a number of events to reach that lofty award.
Feeling better. Slept most of the day and when I woke up, I took a couple of hits of stomach stuff and haven't been nauseaous once. Of course, I'm so stoned, I probably wouldn't remember it if I had. Kristin knows why those meds make me woozy but I forgot the answer to that one,too. It's one of those nine dollar drug words. We call it "Ahna Sonna Konna Pahn" from the old three stooges movie.
Leland had a church thing (retreat) to do in Little Rock this week end so he's just come in and will spend the night with Tim and Kristin before heading out to Austin tomorrow morning. Is always good to see big brother. Wow, it's a house full of combat vets, Tim Jr, Persian Gulf, me, South Vietnam, Leland,USMC Chu Li, 1968. Testosterone heaven where all solutions to the current problems we have, are solved with such simplicity, the military way.
Hangin tough.
Sr.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Last day of Phase 5 chemo
Was not able to make it all the way through chemo this time without being sick. Despite that, I made it all the way to the last day before it hit. Roughly 1:45 pm today it hit but Tim Jr and Kristin came, administered more anti nausea tabs and put a cold rag on my neck. Cold rag helped and in 30 minutes or so, I went out like a light and slept until 6 pm.
I only have 30 days from today to be completely finished with the last chemo treatment. Am ready to get out and about.
Still fightin hard.
Sr.
I only have 30 days from today to be completely finished with the last chemo treatment. Am ready to get out and about.
Still fightin hard.
Sr.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
3rd day on Phase 5
Have been more attentive to drug regimen during this phase than any 0ther. That's a function of me not wanting to repeat the last experience I had as well as not wanting to put a burden on Kristin. Leland here with stop watch. Am taking support drugs down to the exact minute everyday. Also following Temozolomide chemo injestion to the second.
Have not been sick this go around but following the drug regime to a "T", has me totally zonked. What's the saying: "I'm tore up from the floor up, Cross eyed, knee walkin'?
That's all for now. Gotta be still. Chemo in me 4.5 hours right now and still not sick. Can you imagine me with a 33" waist line?
Sr.
Have not been sick this go around but following the drug regime to a "T", has me totally zonked. What's the saying: "I'm tore up from the floor up, Cross eyed, knee walkin'?
That's all for now. Gotta be still. Chemo in me 4.5 hours right now and still not sick. Can you imagine me with a 33" waist line?
Sr.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
24 hours into phase 5
Haven't been sick yet. This is completely different than the last phase where I set the record for commode hugging.
Didn't eat yesterday after breakfast till last night about 8:30 when I managed to get down one cup of raisin bran. Maybe that's why so many guys lose so much weight when fighting chemo therapy. I'm under 200 pounds now but my blood pressure (125/79) is stellar. There's always a good side to some things.
Big Brother will be here soon so I'll have somebody to help me through the next two days, should I need help. Will keep ya'll in the loop.
Sr.
Didn't eat yesterday after breakfast till last night about 8:30 when I managed to get down one cup of raisin bran. Maybe that's why so many guys lose so much weight when fighting chemo therapy. I'm under 200 pounds now but my blood pressure (125/79) is stellar. There's always a good side to some things.
Big Brother will be here soon so I'll have somebody to help me through the next two days, should I need help. Will keep ya'll in the loop.
Sr.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Back on phase 5 chemo
Blood pressure was 125 over 79. That's good stuff. Had blood tests done and then made it through Oncology and the Pharmacy and was out by 11:30 or so. Jr made sure I did the Ondansetron 30 minutes prior to chemo. Did all that and for the most part, I slept till 6. I've not been sick yet even though I've been into chemo for six hours.
Can not keep eyes open.
Sr.
Can not keep eyes open.
Sr.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Start chemo tomorrow
I start chemo again tomorrow morning. Tim Jr is taking me to the hospital to begin the never ending blood work that they have to do prior to my Oncology appointment.
I felt pretty good yesterday and have not been having much trouble with the stomach over the past few days. I've always had trouble during the withdrawl phase of chemo but it seems to get better and better as each phase comes and goes.
Hard to describe barfing a little bit as "better and better" but when it is related to the amount of trouble I had in the beginning, a little bit sick is a whole lot better than a whole lot of sick.
My big brother is coming to stay with me for two days while I'm going through this phase. I have Tim Jr, Leland, Kristin, Phil, The Dupe-ster and Joey on standby cause when it gets bad, it gets really bad.
Have sorta decided I won't tell Kristin if I get sick again until I'm well enough to clean up my own mess. She's performed above and beyond the call of duty and I don't want to be any more of a burden on her than I already have. Sometimes it gets messy especially when you're so sick you can't do much more than crawl to the bathroom to be sick.
In any event, I'm pretty much at the end of my chemotherapy phase and I'm damn glad to be there. It's been really tough on me and I'm not in denial about the after effects. Losing 40 pounds is one thing but being forced to the bed and couch for this much time has made me a pretty weak puppy. I weigh a tad over 190 pounds right now which is 40 pounds off of my weight when I started. Compared to the picture I have posted here of my days in Vietnam, 190 is okay. I weighed 155 when I came back from Cambodia.
Joey brought me some dumb bells and I try to do 20 reps of 5 pounds each bell, a couple of times each day. I can do that on the couch without any trouble. I can already tell a difference in my arm strength. I can roll the big blue garbage can on wheels out to the street for the sanitation department to pick up every Monday.
I can pick up stuff like several plastic bags full of groceries but my legs wear out before my arms do. I have a plan to get the leg strength back and in pursuit of that, I've walked the 4 houses distance to the corner twice a day. Sometimes I walk that twice or a total of 16 houses before I'm too tired to walk anymore. That may not sound like much but 16 houses long is a long way from "maybe I can make it to the bathroom".
Gettin' closer to that "survivor party". One more 5 day battle with the stomach monster and we'll see who the bad boy is!!! Ooooorah!
Sr.
I felt pretty good yesterday and have not been having much trouble with the stomach over the past few days. I've always had trouble during the withdrawl phase of chemo but it seems to get better and better as each phase comes and goes.
Hard to describe barfing a little bit as "better and better" but when it is related to the amount of trouble I had in the beginning, a little bit sick is a whole lot better than a whole lot of sick.
My big brother is coming to stay with me for two days while I'm going through this phase. I have Tim Jr, Leland, Kristin, Phil, The Dupe-ster and Joey on standby cause when it gets bad, it gets really bad.
Have sorta decided I won't tell Kristin if I get sick again until I'm well enough to clean up my own mess. She's performed above and beyond the call of duty and I don't want to be any more of a burden on her than I already have. Sometimes it gets messy especially when you're so sick you can't do much more than crawl to the bathroom to be sick.
In any event, I'm pretty much at the end of my chemotherapy phase and I'm damn glad to be there. It's been really tough on me and I'm not in denial about the after effects. Losing 40 pounds is one thing but being forced to the bed and couch for this much time has made me a pretty weak puppy. I weigh a tad over 190 pounds right now which is 40 pounds off of my weight when I started. Compared to the picture I have posted here of my days in Vietnam, 190 is okay. I weighed 155 when I came back from Cambodia.
Joey brought me some dumb bells and I try to do 20 reps of 5 pounds each bell, a couple of times each day. I can do that on the couch without any trouble. I can already tell a difference in my arm strength. I can roll the big blue garbage can on wheels out to the street for the sanitation department to pick up every Monday.
I can pick up stuff like several plastic bags full of groceries but my legs wear out before my arms do. I have a plan to get the leg strength back and in pursuit of that, I've walked the 4 houses distance to the corner twice a day. Sometimes I walk that twice or a total of 16 houses before I'm too tired to walk anymore. That may not sound like much but 16 houses long is a long way from "maybe I can make it to the bathroom".
Gettin' closer to that "survivor party". One more 5 day battle with the stomach monster and we'll see who the bad boy is!!! Ooooorah!
Sr.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Feelin good for the 2nd day in a row.
Weather is good, sun is out, temperature is just right and I'm feeling good for the 2nd day in a row. This withdrawl thing is aggrevating in that you never know when you're going to grab that commode but the commode grabbing isn't nearly as bad as when you're on chemo. That's a good thing.
As I get closer to my last double dose of chemo, I'm spending lots of time making plans for a return to a somewhat normal life. Everybody has a moment in life where a change occurs and nothing is ever the same as it was. Whether it's a car wreck, divorce, the death of a parent or child, everybody has that moment.
I know that I won't be able to play on trains, bulldozers or front end loaders anymore but the brain surgery has not effected my capacity to think, to project, to calculate and to plan the things that I always wanted to do at work.
Guess I'm beginning to transfer that physical hyperactivity to mental hyperactivity. That's sort of a good thing because I'm finding myself thinking about cost cutting things that we can do at work. Oh well, I'll be off the chemo soon and hopefully be able to go see Jay, Woody and Hubert to share my thoughts with them to see if I can continue with the trip to do those kinds of things.
I'm real fortunate to work for the guys that I work for in that they are as anxious to hear those thoughts as I am to say them.
Guess I want to say that cancer, brain surgery and months of chemo and radiation do not necessarily mean the end of the line for everybody. I'm feeling better about work than I have in a long time. My body is weak but my spirits are good. I'll start exercising and regaining the muscle tone that I've lost by being in bed and on the couch for so long. Just need to get a little aerobic exercises going and make it happen.
Thanks again to everybody who has followed the blog and been so supportive. It's been a key ingredient to improvement.
Sr.
As I get closer to my last double dose of chemo, I'm spending lots of time making plans for a return to a somewhat normal life. Everybody has a moment in life where a change occurs and nothing is ever the same as it was. Whether it's a car wreck, divorce, the death of a parent or child, everybody has that moment.
I know that I won't be able to play on trains, bulldozers or front end loaders anymore but the brain surgery has not effected my capacity to think, to project, to calculate and to plan the things that I always wanted to do at work.
Guess I'm beginning to transfer that physical hyperactivity to mental hyperactivity. That's sort of a good thing because I'm finding myself thinking about cost cutting things that we can do at work. Oh well, I'll be off the chemo soon and hopefully be able to go see Jay, Woody and Hubert to share my thoughts with them to see if I can continue with the trip to do those kinds of things.
I'm real fortunate to work for the guys that I work for in that they are as anxious to hear those thoughts as I am to say them.
Guess I want to say that cancer, brain surgery and months of chemo and radiation do not necessarily mean the end of the line for everybody. I'm feeling better about work than I have in a long time. My body is weak but my spirits are good. I'll start exercising and regaining the muscle tone that I've lost by being in bed and on the couch for so long. Just need to get a little aerobic exercises going and make it happen.
Thanks again to everybody who has followed the blog and been so supportive. It's been a key ingredient to improvement.
Sr.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Feeling much better today.
Glad to be at the end of the withdrawl period. Yesterday sucked pretty much but today is much better. Got up at 6:30 and had some raisin bran and bananas. I even went totally off the scale and chased that with a cup of coffee. Gettin' crazy over here with maneuvers like that.
Tim Jr is handling paper work even though he's working full time with the Navy and taking 9 hours at LSU at night. I hope I can get my paper work lined out by the end of my next chemo period which begins on the 2nd. I'll be sick as a dog during that time but it's only for a short period of time and it doesn't last all day. It's generally just long enough to hug the commode for a few minutes before I go back to bed. After that, I'm still more or less down for the count but at least I'm not huggin that commode.
Feelin' better. Attitude and killer instinct is back.
Sr.
Tim Jr is handling paper work even though he's working full time with the Navy and taking 9 hours at LSU at night. I hope I can get my paper work lined out by the end of my next chemo period which begins on the 2nd. I'll be sick as a dog during that time but it's only for a short period of time and it doesn't last all day. It's generally just long enough to hug the commode for a few minutes before I go back to bed. After that, I'm still more or less down for the count but at least I'm not huggin that commode.
Feelin' better. Attitude and killer instinct is back.
Sr.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Somebody needs to explain to me.............
I wish I knew the logic behind "being on chemo and being sick" and "being off of chemo and being sick".
I've heard the "off period" being described as "withdrawl". To me, withdrawl is something that comes when you want something like heroin, alcohol or whatever drug you're hooked on, and you can't get it. In my case, the last thing in the world I want is another hit of Temzolomide.
Day one of chemo sometimes brings about commode hugging. Five straight days of chemo does not mean five straight days of doing "the barforama maneuver".
Sometimes it may mean 3 days but generally speaking, it doesn't mean five days in a row of barfola.
After the five days, you have 25 days off. I'm somewhere around the 20th day off today and was so sick this morning, I had difficulty even walking to the bathroom. Damned if I can figure it out!
In any event, sometimes it's really tough to make it through a single day. I've exhausted my insurance benefits and I now have roughly $40,000 worth of liablities. That may not seem like much but after already spending $40,000, it's a pretty steep hill to climb.
I need to go back to work, sell a killer sized stone job and make enough commission to overcome this mess. You have to remember, I've been in the bed or on the couch since June 21st of 09. That's along time for a hyper active road warrior like me. I just want to get rollin again and stop all this stomach business.
I like my job alot cause it has everything in it that a speed freak needs. Trains, rail cars, dump trucks, helicopters, tanks, one Army Base, several asphalt plants, a rock quarry, a sand and gravel plant and huge front end loaders. They're so much fun even Tonka makes em'.
I'm not bitchin or complainin'. I'm just tellin' it like it is and hope that this note might inspire some of you to "up" your insurance coverages to a much higher level than they are now.
Just the brain surgery, intensive care, hospital room, chemo and radiation fee was over $300,000.00. My veteran coverages took care of all that except for the hospital bill in Leesville when I was unconcious and in the process of being transferred to the VA.
I spent 3 to 4 hours there and it cost $17,000.00. The ambulance ride was $4,800.00. Check your insurance coverage, check it today! You'll be glad you did.
Still hangin' tough as I know how to hang. Still fightin' as hard as I know how to fight.
Thanks to Charlie, Curt, Bernie, Mo, Bill, Doug and my buddies from the 11th Cav and the 199th Light Infantry Brigade. Also, thanks to big brother, his buddies in the prayer group, Phil, John and Sue, Joey, Marfa Soo and all the gang from school days.
Special thanks to all you girls out there that have been so thoughtful, especially in the food, soup, cake, muffin and pie department. During those times when I can eat, I really enjoyed that.
Sr.
I've heard the "off period" being described as "withdrawl". To me, withdrawl is something that comes when you want something like heroin, alcohol or whatever drug you're hooked on, and you can't get it. In my case, the last thing in the world I want is another hit of Temzolomide.
Day one of chemo sometimes brings about commode hugging. Five straight days of chemo does not mean five straight days of doing "the barforama maneuver".
Sometimes it may mean 3 days but generally speaking, it doesn't mean five days in a row of barfola.
After the five days, you have 25 days off. I'm somewhere around the 20th day off today and was so sick this morning, I had difficulty even walking to the bathroom. Damned if I can figure it out!
In any event, sometimes it's really tough to make it through a single day. I've exhausted my insurance benefits and I now have roughly $40,000 worth of liablities. That may not seem like much but after already spending $40,000, it's a pretty steep hill to climb.
I need to go back to work, sell a killer sized stone job and make enough commission to overcome this mess. You have to remember, I've been in the bed or on the couch since June 21st of 09. That's along time for a hyper active road warrior like me. I just want to get rollin again and stop all this stomach business.
I like my job alot cause it has everything in it that a speed freak needs. Trains, rail cars, dump trucks, helicopters, tanks, one Army Base, several asphalt plants, a rock quarry, a sand and gravel plant and huge front end loaders. They're so much fun even Tonka makes em'.
I'm not bitchin or complainin'. I'm just tellin' it like it is and hope that this note might inspire some of you to "up" your insurance coverages to a much higher level than they are now.
Just the brain surgery, intensive care, hospital room, chemo and radiation fee was over $300,000.00. My veteran coverages took care of all that except for the hospital bill in Leesville when I was unconcious and in the process of being transferred to the VA.
I spent 3 to 4 hours there and it cost $17,000.00. The ambulance ride was $4,800.00. Check your insurance coverage, check it today! You'll be glad you did.
Still hangin' tough as I know how to hang. Still fightin' as hard as I know how to fight.
Thanks to Charlie, Curt, Bernie, Mo, Bill, Doug and my buddies from the 11th Cav and the 199th Light Infantry Brigade. Also, thanks to big brother, his buddies in the prayer group, Phil, John and Sue, Joey, Marfa Soo and all the gang from school days.
Special thanks to all you girls out there that have been so thoughtful, especially in the food, soup, cake, muffin and pie department. During those times when I can eat, I really enjoyed that.
Sr.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Hospital day, weight loss, stomach
Had a day at the hospital which pretty much took me out of the blog loop.
Waylon and the chickies as well as Doctor J, were pretty shocked by my weight loss. I lost 40 pounds, then gained 7 then lost 4. It's just the result of a loss during chemo that comes from not being able to keep anything down when you start the double dose, then another loss during the withdrawl period followed by a small gain when all the commode hugging is gone.
Kristin has been incredible. She cleans up after me when I get so sick I can't do anything but lay down, then she gets the medication chart, grabs the pills and runs through the 1,2,3 of it all.
The chemo is so bad that there are charts and instructions that warn you that no one should even touch the medicine but me. It also requires a "clean up kit" when you get sick. Jesus, wonder what's in the chemo that requires a warning like that.
Before long, the stomach calms down and I can walk without throwing up. Sounds horrible but it's not as bad as it sounds. Sick for a bit then weak but not throwing up. The five day period is horrible. The 25 day withdrawl period has, from time to time, proven to be worse than the 5 day on period. Doesn't make any sense but that is the reality of it all.
Weight loss just comes with the territory. 231 to 191 is a pretty big step. Doc said I'm losing alot of muscle mass and I need to plan an exercise program for rehab. They don't have a pool at the hospital but recommend swimming when the last phase of chemo is complete.
Joey brought me a pair of hand sized bar bells. I don't know how much they weigh but I can do 20 reps with each arm before it wipes me out. When I get through this last phase and the withdrawl, my stomach should return to some degree of normalcy. When that time frame gets here, I'll start walking everyday and maybe do some swimming. I wouldn't mind staying around 190 to 200 pounds if my muscle condition would firm up a bit.
Hangin in there. Thanks Curt!
Sr.
Waylon and the chickies as well as Doctor J, were pretty shocked by my weight loss. I lost 40 pounds, then gained 7 then lost 4. It's just the result of a loss during chemo that comes from not being able to keep anything down when you start the double dose, then another loss during the withdrawl period followed by a small gain when all the commode hugging is gone.
Kristin has been incredible. She cleans up after me when I get so sick I can't do anything but lay down, then she gets the medication chart, grabs the pills and runs through the 1,2,3 of it all.
The chemo is so bad that there are charts and instructions that warn you that no one should even touch the medicine but me. It also requires a "clean up kit" when you get sick. Jesus, wonder what's in the chemo that requires a warning like that.
Before long, the stomach calms down and I can walk without throwing up. Sounds horrible but it's not as bad as it sounds. Sick for a bit then weak but not throwing up. The five day period is horrible. The 25 day withdrawl period has, from time to time, proven to be worse than the 5 day on period. Doesn't make any sense but that is the reality of it all.
Weight loss just comes with the territory. 231 to 191 is a pretty big step. Doc said I'm losing alot of muscle mass and I need to plan an exercise program for rehab. They don't have a pool at the hospital but recommend swimming when the last phase of chemo is complete.
Joey brought me a pair of hand sized bar bells. I don't know how much they weigh but I can do 20 reps with each arm before it wipes me out. When I get through this last phase and the withdrawl, my stomach should return to some degree of normalcy. When that time frame gets here, I'll start walking everyday and maybe do some swimming. I wouldn't mind staying around 190 to 200 pounds if my muscle condition would firm up a bit.
Hangin in there. Thanks Curt!
Sr.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Lost 40 pounds
Hey Gang,
I'm doing really well on the emotional and intellectual front.
On the physical side of things, I've lost 40 pounds. With that, there's a bit of weakness that is in conflict with my brain. I keep wanting to go visit with my buddies down south but everytime I pack a bag and fill up with gas, it seems that exhaustion and nausea knocks me out.
That's kinda depressing but I treat it as an accomplishment of sorts. At least I can pack a bag and make it to the gas station. Doc told me that I would be lucky if I could tie my shoes much less do anything else. So, from that standpoint, I'm making progress but I'm not able to complete the full mission.
In any event, I had a great superbowl week end. I'm making progress everyday in every category. I just have a little trouble with the chemo. It never tells you when it's going to raise it's ugly head. You can be okay one minute and the next, without any notice, you're puking your guts up.
Fortunately for me, my buddies at work seem to know that you can't get ahead of the game and that you have to wait until the last treatment of chemo is over before you start to engage yourself in anything.
I guess I've had to learn the hard way on this one but thanks to Woody and Jay, they keep telling me to heal first and act second. I'm just homesick and am really tired of sitting here while all the cool stuff is going on at work without me in the driver's seat. Damn, it's frustrating.
Thanks to everybody, especially Curt and Bernie, two guys from my flying days in the Army. By the way, who is Mopheus in Australia?
Sr.
I'm doing really well on the emotional and intellectual front.
On the physical side of things, I've lost 40 pounds. With that, there's a bit of weakness that is in conflict with my brain. I keep wanting to go visit with my buddies down south but everytime I pack a bag and fill up with gas, it seems that exhaustion and nausea knocks me out.
That's kinda depressing but I treat it as an accomplishment of sorts. At least I can pack a bag and make it to the gas station. Doc told me that I would be lucky if I could tie my shoes much less do anything else. So, from that standpoint, I'm making progress but I'm not able to complete the full mission.
In any event, I had a great superbowl week end. I'm making progress everyday in every category. I just have a little trouble with the chemo. It never tells you when it's going to raise it's ugly head. You can be okay one minute and the next, without any notice, you're puking your guts up.
Fortunately for me, my buddies at work seem to know that you can't get ahead of the game and that you have to wait until the last treatment of chemo is over before you start to engage yourself in anything.
I guess I've had to learn the hard way on this one but thanks to Woody and Jay, they keep telling me to heal first and act second. I'm just homesick and am really tired of sitting here while all the cool stuff is going on at work without me in the driver's seat. Damn, it's frustrating.
Thanks to everybody, especially Curt and Bernie, two guys from my flying days in the Army. By the way, who is Mopheus in Australia?
Sr.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Healing
I've figured out that it takes x amount of time to recouperate from radiation and chemo. Those are two very separate things.
I don't suffer any more fatigue at all from the radiation. I still have the burned spots on my skull but I treat that with a cream that is specifically designed for radiation damaged skin.
Chemo is another animal. I'm approaching the last phase of chemo that requires me to have double dosages for 5 days and then no dosage at all for 25 days. I'm not positive but I think the 5 days of double dosage is massive and thus the 25 day recouperation period ordered by the Doctor.
You have to be very careful during and after chemo. Sometimes you are really, really sick from the first day you take the double dose. Sometimes not.
Sometimes you are really sick during the 25 day withdrawl period.
Despite those things, I feel like I'm getting stronger, even during the post double doseage period. I'm positive that I'm going to return to a somewhat normal life. I'll never be as strong as i was prior to the wreck and the brain surgery. I think the thoughts about strength are more relative to the brain surgery and the changes that I've gone through after the tumor was removed along with a small portion of my right temporal lobe. I'm real lucky that I can tie my shoes much less work this keyboard and do other things.
In any event, I'm not ready to say that it's over but I am viewing the near future in a positive manner.
Sr.
I don't suffer any more fatigue at all from the radiation. I still have the burned spots on my skull but I treat that with a cream that is specifically designed for radiation damaged skin.
Chemo is another animal. I'm approaching the last phase of chemo that requires me to have double dosages for 5 days and then no dosage at all for 25 days. I'm not positive but I think the 5 days of double dosage is massive and thus the 25 day recouperation period ordered by the Doctor.
You have to be very careful during and after chemo. Sometimes you are really, really sick from the first day you take the double dose. Sometimes not.
Sometimes you are really sick during the 25 day withdrawl period.
Despite those things, I feel like I'm getting stronger, even during the post double doseage period. I'm positive that I'm going to return to a somewhat normal life. I'll never be as strong as i was prior to the wreck and the brain surgery. I think the thoughts about strength are more relative to the brain surgery and the changes that I've gone through after the tumor was removed along with a small portion of my right temporal lobe. I'm real lucky that I can tie my shoes much less work this keyboard and do other things.
In any event, I'm not ready to say that it's over but I am viewing the near future in a positive manner.
Sr.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Chemo withdrawl better
I'm handling the withdrawl period of chemo much better this time than last. I hope this is a sign of things to come. Maybe the next one will be even better than this one. I feel like I can actually start to do stuff on a limited basis compared to the sleep, sofa, tv, more sleep maneuver I've been subjected to. Looks like I'm gonna survive the cure that usually kills you. Ooooo Rah!
Sr.
Sr.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Chemo withdrawl is better this go around
Monday a week ago, I had the hardest day of chemo I ever had. Normally, the withdrawl period is the toughest. Doesn't seem to fit but it's true.
Am going to attempt a lunch meeting with a customer Thursday and hope like hell I can pull that off. Sure miss my buddies at work. Will let ya'll know.
Sr.
Am going to attempt a lunch meeting with a customer Thursday and hope like hell I can pull that off. Sure miss my buddies at work. Will let ya'll know.
Sr.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Last day of chemo till the 23rd
Have an appt at the hospital today. Last hit of chemo comes at 3 pm and then a break till the 23rd. Am ready to be off this phase as it's been the toughest.
Sick this morning but not like Monday.
Sr.
Sick this morning but not like Monday.
Sr.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Chemo Update
Told by Dr. Haddad that I must go through two more periods of chemo. One will start 25 days from tomorrow the last will start 30 days after that. Would rather have someone beat me with a whip than endure two more sessions but I still have to do it.
Despite that, I'm going south during the 25 day off period. I need to get some excersize as my legs are very week. For the most part they attribute that to spending all this time in bed and on the couch. Spirits are still up but I'm sure tired of the schedule and all the nausea.
Sr.
Despite that, I'm going south during the 25 day off period. I need to get some excersize as my legs are very week. For the most part they attribute that to spending all this time in bed and on the couch. Spirits are still up but I'm sure tired of the schedule and all the nausea.
Sr.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
No mug hugging today.
Am back on a more regimented schedule. I'm measuring cereal again, watching the clock carefully to insure that I take the Ondansetron exactly 30 minutes after breakfast. Also clock watching on chemo input.
As soon as I finish chemo I get back in the bed. It's 5:10 pm right now and I'm still in pj's.
Better today than yesterday.
Sr.
As soon as I finish chemo I get back in the bed. It's 5:10 pm right now and I'm still in pj's.
Better today than yesterday.
Sr.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Don't know what happened yesterday.
My first day back on chemo was not good. It easily marked the "largest" stomach episode I've had since I've begun this double dosage chemo. In that light, yesterday was the benchmark of sick.
Don't know what I would have done without Kristin as she came in from work and arrived before Tim Jr could get here from the Reserve Center.
They called the hospital to find out their opinion. My neice Paige, has been a Godsend as she's a nurse there and probably should be a doctor.
Kristin cleaned up the mess and discovered no evidence of Temzolomide capsules so they decided that I had digested all the pills before I hit the thunder mug. With that in mind she went to the drug cabinet and pulled out the Ondansetron and two other tablets that are used to stop the stomach eruptions. They worked and by 4 o'clock, I was able to walk without puking.
Tim Jr called this morning to advise he was going back to the VA to get my chemo bidness lined out. He should be here by noon. So far, I'm not sick today. I'm down to 204 pounds from 231 and I can't seem to get back to the "bulk up" numbers the Oncologist wanted me to achieve. I've tried really hard but I can't seem to eat anything beyond 1/4 or 1/2 portions of a meal.
Aside from that, I'm experiencing some imbalance in my equilibrium. Don't know what to think about that as it may be a result of weakness more than the right temporal lobe loss from surgery. It may also be a result of depth perception loss from only having one eye that works. The right eye is gone.
How bout this: "I'm happy be alive even if I'm a one eyed half brained weight losing combat vet.
Listened to Barack Osama's freeze on spending this morning and was wondering how that was going to hamper veteran's benefits. Perhaps we should pass a freeze on all new spending during his administration.
It's amazing how the war on terror is effecting everything including veteran's benefits. Maybe we should change our budget to transfer all foreign aid of anykind and give it to the military to fund nukes aimed at everybody who has proven to harbor or aid terrorists.
One dirty bomb in the U.S. or another terrorist attack could be followed by the destruction of all terrorist States. Taliban claimed responsibility this morning for another attack. Seems logical to me. Kinda like World War II and the strategy we used successfully to stop the fanatics back then. We should listen to the lessons we learned from them from that time in our history where suicidal maniacs were all over the world attempting to take over the world.
Oh well. Mighty confusing times. I'm for nuking and bringing everybody home to watch it on tv instead of fighting in the field. Just try and remember the result of the nuke. When it was dropped, the war was over! There's my solution to all these problems including the war on terror and also, the economy.
Sr.
Don't know what I would have done without Kristin as she came in from work and arrived before Tim Jr could get here from the Reserve Center.
They called the hospital to find out their opinion. My neice Paige, has been a Godsend as she's a nurse there and probably should be a doctor.
Kristin cleaned up the mess and discovered no evidence of Temzolomide capsules so they decided that I had digested all the pills before I hit the thunder mug. With that in mind she went to the drug cabinet and pulled out the Ondansetron and two other tablets that are used to stop the stomach eruptions. They worked and by 4 o'clock, I was able to walk without puking.
Tim Jr called this morning to advise he was going back to the VA to get my chemo bidness lined out. He should be here by noon. So far, I'm not sick today. I'm down to 204 pounds from 231 and I can't seem to get back to the "bulk up" numbers the Oncologist wanted me to achieve. I've tried really hard but I can't seem to eat anything beyond 1/4 or 1/2 portions of a meal.
Aside from that, I'm experiencing some imbalance in my equilibrium. Don't know what to think about that as it may be a result of weakness more than the right temporal lobe loss from surgery. It may also be a result of depth perception loss from only having one eye that works. The right eye is gone.
How bout this: "I'm happy be alive even if I'm a one eyed half brained weight losing combat vet.
Listened to Barack Osama's freeze on spending this morning and was wondering how that was going to hamper veteran's benefits. Perhaps we should pass a freeze on all new spending during his administration.
It's amazing how the war on terror is effecting everything including veteran's benefits. Maybe we should change our budget to transfer all foreign aid of anykind and give it to the military to fund nukes aimed at everybody who has proven to harbor or aid terrorists.
One dirty bomb in the U.S. or another terrorist attack could be followed by the destruction of all terrorist States. Taliban claimed responsibility this morning for another attack. Seems logical to me. Kinda like World War II and the strategy we used successfully to stop the fanatics back then. We should listen to the lessons we learned from them from that time in our history where suicidal maniacs were all over the world attempting to take over the world.
Oh well. Mighty confusing times. I'm for nuking and bringing everybody home to watch it on tv instead of fighting in the field. Just try and remember the result of the nuke. When it was dropped, the war was over! There's my solution to all these problems including the war on terror and also, the economy.
Sr.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Up-Chuck Olympics on P-vania Street
Well, Pop is back on chemo today. And the Temolozide monster swiftly put boot in ass. We currently have nausea in check. Cancer is a bastard but Butler Sr. is off of R&R and back in the theatre of operations fighting the good fight. Take it easy on the phone calls and let the Big Guy get a little shut eye. Much love to the church of whats happenin now........ Jr.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Back on line.
Puter been down for over a week. Glad it's back. Lots of catching up to do.
I start my last chemo phase Monday morning at the hospital. This should be it. It's time to return to the "living". Feeling better this go round than last. Looking forward to taking that last hit of chemo...............
Tim Sr.
I start my last chemo phase Monday morning at the hospital. This should be it. It's time to return to the "living". Feeling better this go round than last. Looking forward to taking that last hit of chemo...............
Tim Sr.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Doc came to visit.
I'm feeling really good today. Despite the fact that I'm in my worst time period of withdrawl, I've oddly missed the bowl huggin' that came last month. I'm in really good spirits and don't have enough nausea to even say it's nausea.
Jay came to visit yesterday and spent two hours with me. It marks the first time in months that I've been able to intellectually engage in some pretty meaningful conversations regarding work. I guess, more than anything, I've been pretty home sick for all my buddies at work. Was like a breath of fresh air. Feelin' mighty good for a chemo withdrawl ole fart.
Sr.
Jay came to visit yesterday and spent two hours with me. It marks the first time in months that I've been able to intellectually engage in some pretty meaningful conversations regarding work. I guess, more than anything, I've been pretty home sick for all my buddies at work. Was like a breath of fresh air. Feelin' mighty good for a chemo withdrawl ole fart.
Sr.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Nausea and Dehydration
Welcome to Temzolomide withdrawl and a shot of dehydration. Sick this morning and weak.
Kristen bought some gator aide kind of thing for that and I drank some at 3 pm and almost immediately felt better. What a daughter in law!
In a sense, I'm glad it's here. I've been feeling good during the first few days off chemo and am greatful for that but I've been on pins and needles just waiting for the sick to get here. Now that it's here, I'm not really going to do much of anything differently except be anxiety free from the wait. I announce this as the next to the last sick period. Soon, I'm gonna be free.
Goin back to bed to be still and let the stuff do it's thing.
Sr.
Kristen bought some gator aide kind of thing for that and I drank some at 3 pm and almost immediately felt better. What a daughter in law!
In a sense, I'm glad it's here. I've been feeling good during the first few days off chemo and am greatful for that but I've been on pins and needles just waiting for the sick to get here. Now that it's here, I'm not really going to do much of anything differently except be anxiety free from the wait. I announce this as the next to the last sick period. Soon, I'm gonna be free.
Goin back to bed to be still and let the stuff do it's thing.
Sr.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Nausea back
It takes about 5 full days for the chemo withdrawl to hit. I've been devout with my Ondansetron and have felt very, very good up to this point. It hit this morning. I'm going to have to make this short. Still fightin' it.
sr.
sr.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Feelin' good on Tuesday Morning
I had a really good night's sleep last night. Phone rang at 7:30 this morning. Was a customer from Leesville. Had a good conversation. Took an Ondansetron tablet immediately after that and ate another bowl of cereal. I haven't been sick except for one very brief moment the day after I got off the chemo.
If I make it through this period in any kind of condition like I've experienced over the past few days, making the 25 day mark should be a breeze. I hope so. Last month saw me sicker than I've ever been in my life. That's why I'm being so careful not to overdo it.
Will keep ya'll in the loop. Feeling really upbeat about the abscense of nausea. Yeee Haaa.
Sr.
If I make it through this period in any kind of condition like I've experienced over the past few days, making the 25 day mark should be a breeze. I hope so. Last month saw me sicker than I've ever been in my life. That's why I'm being so careful not to overdo it.
Will keep ya'll in the loop. Feeling really upbeat about the abscense of nausea. Yeee Haaa.
Sr.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Day 4 of withdrawl
I'm still a little weak but am not yet experiencing the old "hug the bowl" maneuver. Quite pleased about that. I have 21 days to go to my very last chemo period. Man, will I be glad to be rid of all that. This wasn't as painful as the brain surgery but it sure has lasted longer.
I recall roughly 6 weeks to heal from the trauma of the surgery but here I am still dealing with the agony called chemo. In any event, I've completed all of the chemotherapy except for the last one.
I've pretty much been staying in bed or on the couch since Friday. For some reason, taking those Ondansetron tablets and being still seems to keep the nausea down. On the other side of that, sometimes nothing more than standing up brings on the nausea. Ugh!
I'm hangin tough. Almost to the finish line.
Sr.
I recall roughly 6 weeks to heal from the trauma of the surgery but here I am still dealing with the agony called chemo. In any event, I've completed all of the chemotherapy except for the last one.
I've pretty much been staying in bed or on the couch since Friday. For some reason, taking those Ondansetron tablets and being still seems to keep the nausea down. On the other side of that, sometimes nothing more than standing up brings on the nausea. Ugh!
I'm hangin tough. Almost to the finish line.
Sr.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Sunday Withdrawl
I'm not nauseaous but I can tell that it's not far away. I made it through yesterday with no problem. A combination of Ondansetron and sleep is almost certainly the reason I made it. Today, even though I've had two Ondansetron tabs, I can tell that something is amiss. I'm not hugging the toilet but I'm staying close.
Hangin' in there and simply staying on the Ondansetron and staying in bed.
Sr.
Hangin' in there and simply staying on the Ondansetron and staying in bed.
Sr.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Chemo Withdrawl
I can't believe I haven't been sick today. I'm off chemo today but the withdrawl is awful and I know it's coming. I stayed in bed all day yesterday waiting on it and it didn't come. I slept until 11:20 a.m. today and it still isn't here. Hopefully a steady influx of Ondansetron will kick in and not put me through the same kind of horror that came last month.
Despite the fact that the doc says I'm 100% free of cancer in the brain, I'm still fightin' it and fightin hard. Just weak. Will keep you in the loop.
Sr.
Despite the fact that the doc says I'm 100% free of cancer in the brain, I'm still fightin' it and fightin hard. Just weak. Will keep you in the loop.
Sr.
Friday, January 1, 2010
5th Day of Chemo
I've made it through the 5 day double dosage period of chemo without being really sick. From past experience, the next 16 days can be hell. I'm really staying on top of the Ondansetron because I don't ever want to experience what I did in December. Hopefully, it won't be as bad.
My energy gains have been sapped from the chemo and I typically don't even get out of bed for the day until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. It's just all I can do.
Really tired. Will keep ya'll in the loop.
Sr
My energy gains have been sapped from the chemo and I typically don't even get out of bed for the day until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. It's just all I can do.
Really tired. Will keep ya'll in the loop.
Sr
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