Dealing with death

I should have died hundreds of times in 1970 and 71. I was prepared to die but was one of the lucky ones. Now, with malignant brain cancer, brain surgery, chemo therapy, radiation and all the predictions of my death between October of last year and June of this year, I figure I should have died already........again.

You know what, having a positive mental attitude is key to all that. I may die tomorrow but no one will say that I didn't have a positive mental attitude about all that and that I gave it one hell of a good show along the way. To me, that was the most important aspect of having a good time and being as comfortable as possible along the way.

Now, as it relates to that kind of thing, know that "not" publishing your day to day steps to take care of your final arrangements, can cause some trouble. So, with regard to that, everybody who has not done your last will and testiment, do it now.

I'm tired of thinking about death and I prefer to think about life, comfort, fun, camping, another motorsport project like an old motorscooter, an old car or possible retirement. I understand why so many veterans with malignant brain cancer blow their brains out. Only the strong survive and even among the strong, sometimes you can't defeat the negative shit that can run over you every day. The VA makes you go to suicide prevention, something that I didn't understand in the beginning. Now, I get it. This shit is enough to make you want to put a round through your head and say screw it all.

I've decided to continue with the positive mental attitude thing even if I have to move my motorhome to the bush and become a hermit. I just want some peace, comfort and fun. That's what I'm going to work on from this second forward.

Thank God for big brothers. Leland has agreed to handle all the final arrangements and effectively take a position of executor of my will or estate. Thanks big brother for the relief.

Tim Sr.