Nuther update September 26th

I'm doing remarkably well considering all the rules I've broken.

Oncologist told me to try and stay as mentally engaged in life as I could but he warned me about any attempts to try and return to work.

I guess I've been a renegade most of my life and in that arena, I think that most of the companies that I've consulted with or been hired by, knew that I would be a good choice for difficult situations. My old friend Laddie always said: "When the going gets really tough, call Tim".

I'll get into the problem areas on the next posting but suffice it to say that there are large changes in one's mental, physical and emotional make up when emergency brain surgery results in the removal of a part of one's right temporal lobe. Add to that, the effects of post surgery, chemo and radiation support drugs and sometimes you'll discover that returning to work and thinking that you'll be your old self again, is a form of denial. It's just not the same.

I absolutely don't get it when it comes to people who "do pills" that aren't prescription drugs ordered by a doctor. Talk about self inflicted wounds! There's nothing worse than being overpowered by something that you have no control in changing.

Not taking anti stroke medication isn't an option. Taking them and thinking you'll be normal is a mistake. It's almost like something that needs to go on your "Preflight Check List".

Don't go to work under the influence of post surgery stuff or siezure medication even if you really dig going to work.

In any event, I gave it a good shot but simply couldn't deal with the work load and the problems of a high energy stone yard with employee situations, sub standard performances of sub contractors and other issues found in the work place from time to time.

The docs were right when they issued caution after caution but I couldn't help myself as it related to an attempt to return to work after something as traumatic as the things I've been through since the brain surgery and all the other traumas from malignant cancer treatment to the body.

They retired me a month ago as a function of a disability situation with the VA system. I just can't operate like a 42 year old guy with 20 years experience. In 15 months, I would have made 40 years experience.

In any event, I have fallen down a number of times at work and unfortunately, I did so in front of way too many witnesses. It's a blessing that the bosses found out and sent me some relief to take the pressures off of me at work but sometimes, even that doesn't have an effect on something they can't change............my medical condition.

In any event, I'm out of the frying pan and into an area that should be much easier on me. As it relates to the day to day stuff, they want me to do the thing that they say I do best. That would be selling stone to the various construction companies involved in building everything imaginable requiring stone. That's a large arena but it's an arena that does not require me to order trains, schedule 1,000 ton per hour unloads, trucks, excavators and all the people involved in doing that on a timely schedule.

If this last "radiation damage procedure" on my inner ear works out, I will be much more steady on my feet and in a better position than I have been since I attempted to return to a normal working environment. I hope so but I'm certainly not complacent about that occurring without problems that may come in the future.

In any event, I wanted ya'll to know that I'm doing pretty well despite the problems I've had with my stability and balance.

PS.

I met Robert Mason in Ft. Worth at the VHPA convention in the early 90's and visited at length with him about many of the things in his life and mine. I had a signed copy of Chickenhawk but gave it to a friend.

Combat helicopter pilots who flew in the war have a brotherhood that is unbreakable. For those of us who did "the thing" in Cambodia, there's a rock solid relationship that exists even with those that we did not meet on a day to day basis but flew with us or next to us on ops at the big CHUP.