4th Day of Chemo

Just finished chemo. Had a little bit of nausea last night but not much. Knocked it out with Ondansetron. Am pretty fired up over the fact that I'm not sick yet. That's pretty cool especially after having such a good appetite during Christmas.

Will keep you in the loop. So far so good.

Hey, Noah! How are you doin', big guy!

Sr.

3rd day of chemo

Despite the elevated spirit that comes with the report that you have killed a malignant cancer, I'm back on chemo and the stomach that comes with it has returned. I eat, take the anti nausea tablet, take my chemo and then hit the bed. I have to be real still for some reason or else I get sick.

I'm really high about the 100% remission thing but even life saving news like that can be overpowered by the illness I call chemo.

Hangin tough, two more days to go then two weeks of being sick during withdrawl. Despite all that, my next chemo, as I understand it, is my last chemo. Ooooo Rahhhhh.

Sr.

Cancer in remission

Seems like a mighty long battle is coming to an end. Got the official report this afternoon that I am 100% cancer free. I have a lot of telephone calls to make so I hope you'll understand why this is so short.

Thanks everybody for all the support during this really tough fight.

Sr.

2nd day of chemo

So far, so good. I have to go back to radiation today for a follow up as well as a psyc appt. this afternoon. Have not been sick yet but I know it's coming so I'm packing in the Ondansetron.

Am really interested to find out what the shrink wants. Will let ya'll know when I'm done with the "consult". Bet a million bucks it's about witnessing the murder of civilians in Cambodia.

Sr.

On chemo now.

I ended my Christmas holiday eating fest last night and prepared to get back on the chemo trip today. I prepared for the dose this morning with a two cup breakfast of cereal and an Ondansetron tablet. I took the chemo and am laying down on the sofa waiting for whatever is going to happen..............to happen.

Kristin is working at the lab everyday and for the past two weeks has been working the night shift (3 to 11). It's a 23 hour per day medical lab and she has to qualify to work any and all shifts.

Tim Jr reported for duty this morning at the reserve center in Bossier at oh dark thirty. I heard him leave and it was still dark outside. Don't know how long it's going to take him today as it's day number 1 but I hope he gets home early afternoon because Kristin is leaving for work and I really don't want to be alone on day 1 of chemo.

I know I'm going to be sick over the next 21 days but I also know that I only have one more phase of chemo before this is over with. I feel like I can take anything even though the thought process of getting back on chemo has made me a bit nervous about it all.

I have an appointment tomorrow at the VA. Everybody who goes through chemo and radiation has to make a trip to the shrink. I think it's due to suicide prevention or something like that but in my case, I think it's a result of simply answering the many questions they've asked me about my tour in Vietnam and especially my tour in Cambodia. When I was asked if I'd ever witnessed the murder of civilians and I said "yes", they sent me to the 10th floor.

It's been pretty difficult to identify dates and such as they tell me my flight records are classified and not a part of my DD 214 document.

When I expanded on that inquiry they made another appointment for me to see the Chief of Staff. I'm not sure if they don't believe me or if witnessing the murder of civilians is something that automatically puts you under the microscope. I just want all of this stuff to be over.

At any rate, despite the fact that I know I'm going to be sick in January and February, I also know that this time frame is suppossed to mark the end of treatment and no more being sick. I feel like I can put up with torture if they'll just let me go March 1st. That's just in time for better weather and the spring / summer season. Still hangin tough.

Sr.

Chemo starts again tomorrow.

Well, I'm counting my blessings for being without the nausea during Christmas Day and today. I've enjoyed eating like a normal person.

Tomorrow is the return to the misery that comes with chemotherapy. Despite the fact that this is one of the things that has saved my life, it has surely been a tough road to travel. I'll start on the 28th and quit on the 1st of February. I'll be pretty sick until the 15th or 16th of February. I'll start again on the 26th and that should be the last dose of chemo for me.

All of this depends on a confirmation from Oncology that the cancer is not spreading and I'm more than willing to pay the price in exchange for life.

Hangin' tough.

Sr

No drugs, lots of food, lots of rest= strength

It's Wednesday night and Tim Jr has taken me to dinner at El Chico's and we've just returned.

My strength is returning almost by the day. After the 30 pound weight loss, I managed to gain 2.1 pounds last week and certainly more this week. The abscense of weakness is noticeable. I'm not dizzy or unsteady when I'm on my feet anymore.

My days and nights are little bit messed up right now but Tim Jr says "when you're sleeping, you're healing". He's been right on all his predictions so far so I'm not letting the fact that I didn't get out of my pajamas until 4 pm today bother me that much. If I feel the need to eat and just rest and regain my strength, that's what I do.

I messed up and tried to go back to work when I first got off chemo but ended up sick in a hotel room one night and the very next week, did the same thing. I ended up in the bed at my friend's house (Tommy and Lanell) but managed to recoup after a shot of Ondansetron and an hour and a half in their guest bedroom. Got a call from one of my bosses advising me to "not overdo it". Man, was he right. They've been super supportive and continue to emphasize the need for me to get back to 100% and not overdo it.

In any event, all of this has been OJT for me. I now know that when the last phase of chemo is over in roughly sixty three days, I'll be able to duplicate the strength scenario mentioned above and hopefully return to some degree of physical normalcy. I'm planning on it.

That's it for now. Will keep you guys in the loop. Have a Merry Christmas and keep smilin'.,

Sr.

Early Christmas

I'll just put a short note here regarding my early Christmas Present.

My buddy Stan gave me a home made bazooka for Christmas. His has been test fired in the front yard and resulted in Tim Jr telling me I can't shoot it in the neighborhood. We're gonna take it to Dixie Garden where two other bazooka owners live and have a contest.

Mine has a mighty big propellant chamber and I think I'm sure to win the contest. You can put all kinds of things down the bore of this puppy. Right now it has two tangerenes in there. They act like a canon ball. You put something in front of the tangerines such as buck shot, a molitove cocktail or whatever you chose to shoot, and the rest is history.

Kinda makes home security take on a different meaning. I like my bazooka.

Sr.

One month and one day

I've been off chemo since November 20th. Normally, as most of you know, I'm on for 5 days and off for 25 days. It's just what they do when you are taking twice the normal dose.

Roughly, I've been off 6 days longer than normal. As odd as it may sound, I can tell the difference between the 25th day off and the 31st day off. My strengh is returning. Small things like the absence of weak knees or unsteady legs, is visibly noticeable.

I've also been off any nausea drug for roughly six days. I can tell the difference there, too.

What all this means is this: When I finish the last two installations, I'll know that I should be able to return to a somewhat normal physical condition in roughly a month. I'm pretty fired up.

More as all this unfolds and I begin chemo again on the 28th.

Sr

Strength Coming Back

My strength is returning. It's doing so without the requirement to nap twice per day. I'm not sure how much of that is due to being off chemo for my 25 day off period plus a few days but any way you look at it, I can tell the difference.

I'm really pleased that I'll be able to eat on Christmas Day instead of being sick. Before Doc released me and gave me the extra week off chemo, my plan for Christmas Day was being in bed next to the "bucket".

Tim Jr and Joey have installed the HD TV and the 5 LMB dish in my motorhome. I now have a zillion channels and all of it is on the HD. I also have wireless.

This is already starting off to be a great Christmas. Cancer not spreading, HDTV, Wireless! Not bad for an old road warrior like me. Will keep ya'll informed.

Martha, I ran into Jett week before last. Hello to Jay and welcome aboard to Joe Provenza from kindergarten days.

Sr.

Day 29

I've been off chemo for 29 days. Should have already been back on it but Doc let me have Christmas off. If not, I'd be finished with my five day "on" schedule and already be sick as a dog. I'm one happy camper. I had spagetti and meat balls last night and watched "Inglorius Baserds" on cd. Was fun.

I know I have to go back on it two more times but I feel like I can handle anything now. I'll get back on it on the 28th and after that, I'll only have one more schedule of it. That will come in January. As I understand things, I'll only have 1 day per month in the hospital that's a mandate. Ooooh Rah!!!

Sr. Feelin' good.,

Clear headed

The longer you stay off chemo, the more clarity of mind exists. I haven't taken anything for days including Ondansetron. I actually feel pretty good. Frame of mind is a huge thing when you go through the battle of life and malignant cancer. I don't feel invince-able but I do feel pretty good.

I think back on a couple of buddies I used to work with that have already passed away. I've had a second chance that Laddie and Dale didn't get. I feel confident that I'm going to return to my old self within a short period of time after I take that last shot of chemo. Outside of that, I'll only have to return to the hospital one day per month for a blood test and a catscan. That's a long way from being in the hospital 20 days per month like I have been. It's been a long haul since the wreck that occurred on Father's Day.

Thanks to all for sticking by me especially Jay, Woody, Hubert, Joey, Melis, CB, Harkey, Aunt Margie, Leland, Elaine, Kristin and Jr. Could not have endured it like I did without you guys and gals.

In any event, just wanted ya'll to know that I can actually feel the difference between day 20 (off of chemo) and today. Every day seems to be just a little easier for me. I actually gathered up my hospital bills and put them in an envelope and mailed them to Progressive for payment. Doesn't sound like a big deal but I hadn't been able to do that until now.

Feelin' good and looking forward to tomorrow.

Sr.

The end times of treatment.

Getting off double dosages of chemo on November 20th and staying off until today December 16th, has taught me a lesson. You're gonna be sick as a dog during the withdrawl period but in reality, that's a good sign as it relates to one's immune system. Mine is working fine and my blood pressure is the best it's been in 20 years. Blood count is great and my system is clearly fighting the cancer instead of fighting the chemo.

I don't have to start again until the 28th because Doc decided I could wait until then and enjoy a Christmas lunch. I should have started again day before yesterday but the "cancer is not spreading" report stimulated Doc to let me have a few days off the sick wagon because of the progress we've all made.

This means that I'll have a sick period in January and February but after that, I'm done with all of it. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it sure feels good to know that I'm not going to be a burden on Tim and Kristin. Will have to go back for periodic catscans and blood tests but that's a walk in the park compared to chemo.

Will keep you guys in the loop. Thanks for hangin in there with me and not giving up.

Sr.

Well, you ain't gonna believe this.

Jr woke me up this morning and said: "Pop, you ain't gonna believe this but I need the key to the truck to get in the glove box so I can show the cops the title".

I asked him: "Cops? What for?".

Jr said: "Well, it seems that some crack head crashed into the truck last night and left his bumper stuck in the front of the truck. I just need to prove that it's our truck".

I got out of bed, threw on a coat and went to the street where I found one of Shreveport's finest filling out some paper work. I took a look at the front of my truck which is a heavy duty Ford F 150 with one of those bumpers that has the steel cable clamps on the front if you ever need to be pulled out of a hole. The front of the truck is heavy duty.

In between those steel cable clamps and the bumper, his rear bumper was stuck. That's right, rear bumper. The crack head was flyin down the steet backward, crashed into the truck and then hauled ass without his rear bumper.

Jr's on the phone with the insurance company right now. He told me to promise ya'll that he'd take some pics with a digital camera and put it on the blog.

Now, when you get the word on Monday that your cancer is "not spreading" a little news like somebody did a hit run on your truck, ain't no big deal. Far out. More later when Jr does the photo work.

Sr.

Yeee Haaa! Cancer NOT spreading.

Yeee Haaa. Cancer NOT spreading.

Report from Oncology dept today says cancer not spreading! GBM4 is classified as the most aggressive kind of cancer. This is a huge victory for me. I still have to do chemo until the end of February to complete the clean up and will be required to have monthly check ups but at least I won't be pushing up daisies before my time!

More later. Feelin' good. Gonna go have lunch with Jr. Thanks to everybody for putting the afterburner on the prayer lamp and all the well wishes I've received.

Thanks especially to Jay, Woody, Hubert and crew who have supported me since the day of the wreck.

Sr.

Monday is IT.

Joey and Tim jr worked all day today on getting Jr's furniture in the house. In the midst of all that, the motorhome now has HD TV and wireless. It's great.

I'm going in for blood work in the morning and then an appointment with Oncology regarding my Catscan. I'm tired of waiting on a progress report. Am really tired but will make a point of posting late Monday.

Sr.

Attn: Harris, brief note.

Harris, send me an email to TButler94@hotmail.com. Need to keep in touch with you and Pope. Tim Jr arrived at 3:30 am after a 21 hour drive.

Nausea is gone but it takes about 15 or 16 days of withdrawl before the stomach eruptions stop. I lost 31 pounds but have gained almost 3 since I've stopped being sick. Catscan done but no report yet. Will know Monday and fill you guys in.

Tell Noah I said "hey".

Sr

Catscan complete

I feel like I've spent a million hours at the hospital this week. Blood, agent orange, ptsd, oncology, radiaology, dermatology and now the catscan.

I was a little concerned about the injection of dye in my veins to give the "contrast". The last catscan I had, I don't remember. It was right after the brain surgery and I wasn't clear headed at all about anything. The one before that, I was still unconscious from the wreck.

Some of the guys had been complaining about the damage to the kidneys from the dye. The fact that the technician said: "I cant do the catscan until your blood work is complete because without it, your kidneys are at risk". Damn, what a comment. My blood pressure went up to 140 over 95 with that announcement. All I need is another problem.

In any event, the radiology department has to read the catscan and I couldn't get the results back today. My Oncologist will give me the word Monday. I have more blood work Monday morning and then an appointment with him at 1 pm.

I hate like nobody's business that I have to wait all week end long to find out if I'm going to get one of those "live or die" statements. If I'm clean, I'm home free. If not, I can't stand another brain surgery for tumor removal so I'll have one hell of a decision to make then.

In any event, after all this time, I wish I knew the answer instead of wondering about it. Tim Jr will be here around midnight and he's going to have to deal with all this starting tomorrow. I really can't deal with the paper work and, at the same time, be sick. Just doesn't work. I'm ready for a clean bill of health and a "congratulations" on how you've handled it. I'm really ready to put all this behind me if that's possible.

I guess that's it so far. I'll let ya'll know whazzup as soon as we get the word.

Sr.

Today's hospital visit

Went to Radiology and was escourted to Catscan by Waylon and Cathy.

Had to leave there and go to Hemotology for testing because they have to check blood to determine if your kidney can take the injection of dye. Went back to Catscan and was delayed so I was sent to Dermatology to get that out of the way before going back to Catscan.

When I returned, they were still awaiting blood reports. Many patients in line at that time so I'll have to go back tomorrow. Will let ya'll know what the verdict is as soon as I get it.

Doesn't seem like much of a chore to go to the hospital and go from department to department but it sure wore me out. Will update tomorrow.

Congrats to young James III for his acceptance to Colombia University.

Sr.

Wrecker to the VA

Couldn't win for losing today. Went to the hospital to do a "weigh in". I've gained 2.1 pounds which is a good thing. Don't want to try and replace all 31 that I lost after the chemo withdrawl but a slight gain to offset the upcoming loss with the next withdrawl period is better than dropping down to 170 pounds. On the up side of that, I only have one more withdrawl period for December. one for January and then I'm done in February.

Went up to Oncology and showed them the agent orange rash that now covers my entire body. Now I have an agent orange appointment and a brain scan at the catscan department tomorrow.

Thinking that I'd really done the right thing cause the agent orange appointment is almost certain to see me back on Prednezone, I went downstairs to the parking lot and prepared to eat lunch at 2:40 or so. Truck wouldn't start. It turned over just fine but wouldn't start.

Called Al Carroll's and they gave me the number of the wrecker they use. Number was busy. Now I'm stranded. I called Phil, part of my support group and friend since kindergarten days, and he came to the rescue. He picked me up, took me to get something to eat and then took me back to Tim and Kristin's.

Carroll's got in touch with the wrecker people and my truck was hauled to Al's shop. Hopefully I'll have some wheels by tomorrow's brain scan appointment. This hasn't been an easy day. The frustration of being without wheels is compounded by the ever present "sting" that comes when the agent orange is running wild.

All during the time I was at home (Leesville) I was on Prednezone and it completely controls the agent orange and everything was fine. I was working every day and never missed a single minute of work due to Agent Orange. The Prednezone is somewhat of a pain in the ass cause you have to take it on a full stomach and take it 3 times per day. Despite that, I operated as well or better than anybody else. Was always ahead of time and never missed a second of the action that takes place at work.

That may sound a little freaky to some but working for a Construction Aggregates Company is a cool thing. Barges, Push Boats, trains, rail cars, 18 wheelers, bull dozers, huge Tonka toy style front end loaders, tanks, jeeps, helicopters, gunships, you name it, we have it at work. I miss the game!

In any event, I may have to call a cab to go to the hospital tomorrow but you can bet I'll make those two appointments. I'll let ya'll know the results of the catscan as soon as they let me know.

Hangin' in there.

Sr.

Brain Catscan tomorrow

Tomorrow gonna be the big day for me. "We want to prove nothing is up there". I wasn't sure how I should take that comment from the hospital but I'm sure they were referring to "nothing" as tumors.

I'm not suffering from nausea today and that's 3 days in a row that I haven't been sick. Far out!

Will let ya'll know how the catscan comes out as soon as they let me know.

Sr.

No nausea at all today

I think today is day 17. I've had no nausea of anykind today and didn't even take my Ondansetron till about 11:30 this morning. I think the key here is simply biting the bullet and accepting that you're gonna be one sick puppy for a couple of weeks while the withdrawl from chemo does it's thing. I hate it, it's horrible, it makes you miserable everyday and every night but it's only for two weeks. If that's the price to pay, I'll pay it for a clean bill of health. I just wish it hadn't taken so long to kill all the little boogers runnin' round in my body.

Remember, it's all about perspective. This isn't nearly as bad as fighting in Cambodia. I still say that after all this time.

Jr. coming to Shreveport for a year. Only 5 more days and he can take over the paper work for the benefit packages that I've had so much trouble with. Come on Jr.

sr.

Sunday Breakfast

Today is day 16 and I went to George's for breakfast this morning. No problems. Will take it easy on the couch and maybe watch a game. Not as weak as I was yesterday. It just takes time to let the body do whatever it has to do when you're coming off chemo. It's a hard ride but when it's over, you can actually eat.

Sr.

My 15th day off chemo

I got off chemo on November 20th, that was 15 days back.

This has been the toughest withdrawl period I've had or even imagined. I have 10 days left before all this begins again. I've eaten today but haven't had enough energy to do anything to speak of. Stayed home all day except for a run to eat with Kristin.

The nausea is still there periodically but it isn't anything at all like the nausea that comes right after the withdrawl begins. With this nausea, I should probably define it as stomach upset.

In any event, I think I've gained a pound or two in the last two days. I hope so. The 31 pound loss appears to have brought some weakness with it.

I'm hangin in there but anxious to go back south.

Sr.

Weight Loss vs. Energy Level

Have lost 31 pounds and am realizing a bit of weakness as a result of that. Nausea level is there but it's very low. The more days I have since coming off chemo, the lower the nausea level becomes. It all sucks pretty much but I'm in a hell of a lot better shape than the other guys at the VA. I'm thankful for that.

The energy thing makes my mornings extremely difficult. Talk about slow starts. I can't seem to get my vocal chords working till around 11 a.m. everyday. Usually they are ready 24/7 but recently, morning "anything" has been difficult.

Hangin in there but really tired.

Curt thanks for the recollection about the concussion damage to my ear during Nighthawk ops. Even though I didn't bleed, it sure was a painful wound rec'd during battle with the dinks. I have another appointment at the VA about all of that in a few days.

Sr.

Omeprezol

Kristin has a script for Omeprezol for me to take along with the Ondansetron. That hasn't completely taken away the nausea today or yesterday but it has changed my definition of nausea.

Instead of being on the verge of hugging the toilet, you simply have a stomach upset that isn't quite the kind that takes you to the thunder mug. It's the kind that puts you in the bed and inspires you to take a plastic bucket with you while hoping you won't have to use it.

Getting off chemo is way worse than getting off radiation.

I'm hangin in there and using new, improved cuss words when I talk to the cancer cells. Can't use them here cause lots of really straight folks read this but just so my big brother will know and feel comfortable that I'm still fighting hard, my new cuss word list comes directly from Tim Jr who has inquired among many of his Navy buddies to insure that I'm calling them the lowest possible names available. You know, "cussin' like a sailor".

Sr.