Senator Timmy

Doc said I'd be having some pretty wild and vivid dreams. He was right. What do you think about this one that ended up with a picture of me runnig for the Senate.

Came up with the justification for that when I read that Kennedy died from the same kind of brain cancer I have.

Justified all of that by saying that first of all, I'm going to survive this one longer than he did because I am in so much better shape than he was when he was first diagnosed and I'm 17 years younger.

When I thought about all the other things that I might have in common with that particular senatorial situation I visualized one day in 1975 when I was rip snortin', knee walkin', commode huggin' drunk and said to myself: Well, there's one similarity".

I built all of the conveyors for a plant in a little place called Bon Wier, Texas. That's about 25 miles or so west of Deridder, Louisiana where I was living at the time. The job superintendent was named Bob Henry. He was a former Navy Seal with a tour of duty in Vietnam so we had alot in common.

We used to drink lots of Budweiser and go buzzard hunting as often as we could. Bob Henry hated buzzards because one crashed through the windshield of his jeep and caused him lots of trouble. We drank beer and killed buzzards. That was the deal when we were riding aroung the area.

Now, the way all of that relates to my senatorial ambitions is this.

I have the same cancer that Kennedy had. I sunk a 1975 Toyoto Selica in a creek that I thought was a mud puddle. I didn't have a woman with me and the creek wasn't named Chappaquiddick or how ever you spell it, but at least I was drunk and sunk the car. That's when I figured out that I'd fit right in.

I began to read things about former administrations and their voting record. I went all the way back to LBJ and Jimmy Carter.

I saw where a bill was passed that allowed Congress to access the social security funds. I decided that the first thing I'd do was introduce a bill that stopped all of that. My bill added a note that stipulated: "If you didn't pay into it, you can't take out of it". I liked that one alot.

I then started looking into other things like the Panama Canal Zone. Right now, we have to pay a $900.00 per container fee for every container on a container ship that's heading to Japan. That's more money to traverse the canal than the freight bill to go from the canal to Japan. Go figure that one out.

What I decided to do then was introduce the bill that would have us dig a canal from the West Coast to the East Coast at the Gulf of Mexico. I wanted to call it the "Timmy Canal". Joey liked the idea but I think he wanted to call it the Americanal.

When the current congress asked how in the hell I was going to pay for it, I told them that they would be taking a huge pay cut as well as a cut in the allowances for their staff and that it was not going to be a problem. When they asked me to explain I told them that we would save a gazzillion dollars on our border security because the canal would be better than a fence. See how smart that is.

The more I dreamed, the madder they got. Seems as though I was upsetting the apple cart. At that point in time I came up with the idea of "Timmy's Instantaneous Senatorial Recall Button".

That bill would have authorized the voters of each State to demand and get another "vote" for their senator or representative by simply pushing the 'kick em out" button on their computer.

If the guy that ran a campaign didn't vote the way he said he would vote once he got into office, The Timmy Instant Senatorial Recall would allow us to remove his ass from office "right now". Maybe the runner up would go in or maybe you'd start another election for the Senate but in either event, what difference would it make during the time the guy got kicked out and the new guy got in? Some of them aren't reading the bill proposals anyway.

This isn't all of the Timmy for Senator stuff but I thought you'd like to see what comes from the drug induced dreams they said I would be having.

Let me know what you t hink and I'll asdds some specifics for you to either laugh about or seriously consider. Who knows, somebody may actually come up with an idea. Pardon the drug induced rambling.

YIPEEE. Timmy for Senator! Man, would that be fun!!

Sr.