I survived Christmas

I made two trips to the Emergency Room at the VA hospital during Christmas vacation. One was for the flu and the other one was for the loss of feeling in my left arm. The arm situation happened at half past ten pm and I decided that I was going to wait until the next morning before I made the trip to the ER. I decided that I was not going to call an ambulance and that there was no way I was going to attempt to drive to the hospital at that time of night on Christmas Eve.

I also decided not to wreck Tim Jr and Kristin's Christmas Eve celebrations and would simply notify the VA by email and give them the facts that I had experienced that evening. I figured that would be pretty smart as I wanted someone to know what was going on if I woke up the next morning dead. The ER physician didn't agree with me on that one but he's a new guy and didn't really know what I had already been through so I blew off his determination of that and asserted that I was fine and proved that to be so when I took the neuro test.

Tim Jr wasn't very happy when he found out what had happened. To use an old phrase: "It went over like a fart in a space suit". He was somewhat put out at me and mentioned the N word....as in nursing home. From my perspective, I considered the following things before I made my decision to stay home and simply hunt and peck an email to the hospital.

1. The weather outside was horrible, cold and wet.
2. I felt okay and the feeling to my arm and fingers returned shortly after the episode began.
3. Tim's mother in law was in for a visit and lots of family plans had been made for Christmas Day.
4. I was watching the SMU game and it was too good to leave.
5. I know how I feel better than anyone and the decision was mine and mine alone.
6. I get to do what I want to do most of the time and I wanted to stay home.
7. I did not want to get out in the freezing rain and risk a car wreck en route to the ER.

Having said all of that, let me add this. A recent Cat scan showed no new brain wave abnormalities and the read outs were no different than the previous Cat scans I had seen. I had no fever and all of my vital signs were really good especially blood pressure and pulse.

Since I'd already made 5 or 6 trips to the ER in the last year or so, I figured that sooner or later I would either return home and be fine or I would be dead as a hammer which would more or less put me in a position where I could care less. In view of the fact that everything turned out all right except for pissing off a number of people, I have concluded the following:

1. Sometimes it's not best to let everybody know what's up.
2. Sometimes it's better to report: "a tingling sensation in my arm" during my next visit to the Doc.
3. I would rather be dead than in a nursing home bed.
4. I still have my motor home and can run away.
5. I'm doing fine and ergo, the decision I made was a good one.
6. No matter what I do, I can't change the brain damage or anything else.
7. Party when you can and to hell with the rest of it.
8. Christmas has been postponed until this week end, weather permitting.
9. Would you rather be happy or right?

The way I see it, in this case, for me personally, I am both.

Welcome Tim Wigman

In the late 50's when my father passed away, I began attending Catholic boarding schools. It ended up being one of the best decisions my mother made for me and the experiences I had there have served me well over my life time.

I started off in 1959 with a summer session at Subiaco Academy near Paris, Arkansas and then went to Morris School for Boys in Searcy. My cousin Greg came with me as his dad and uncle both attended Morris when they were kids. It was a Crafts family tradition and since they grew up to be self made men who were very successful, that path was chosen for me and it was a good one. Greg's dad married my dad's sister and that's how the connection was made.

Tim Wigman was one of those kids out of 109 that one always remembers. He was the only one that had a record player and Tim introduced us to Elvis Presley and later on, the Beatles. A few years back, Greg and I were playing on the computer thinking about Morris School and thoughts of Tim Wigman led us to a search to find him. Now, we find a connection by email that came in this morning as did a request to send his buddy Ben, a link to this blog.

In any event, hello to Tim and family.

 

Flashbacks, Study and Understanding

Over the past couple of months, I've noticed a large change in a couple of sites I follow. One of the owners has been sick and completely off the day to day posting. He's been fighting cancer and I completely understand how he was unable to post anything.

Oddly enough, the owner of the second site published an editorial that indicated a concern that things weren't correct and he didn't like the direction his site was moving toward even though it depended on member participation for input. In all fairness to the owner, let me qualify his statement as one that came during the election and he didn't want to see the site "politicized".

His concerns that the input from the membership was moving his military site in the wrong direction, apparently didn't sit well with the group as it stopped the participation and it's been dead as a hammer since September 21st when he posted his concerns about "Site Correctness". Since both sites are hosted by military men, I began to wonder what in the hell happened to the second one.

As I considered everything, I concluded that the total input from all the members would only cover a short period of time spent in combat during the war in Vietnam. A year doesn't seem to be a short period of time when you are in combat but 43 years later, it seems to be only a flashback of some real intense experiences as we weren't in combat every, single day.

After we had submitted photos, movies and stories of combat missions, we seemed to progress from who we were then toward a more current explanation of who we were now or who we had become.

There were great stories from some of our wounded who went on to obtain Doctorates and MD's from the GI Bill. Other stories of success in careers followed with one that included a 37 year long career as a professional photographer and another one that surrounded a career in construction.

After that, things seemed to slow down a bit and I suggested that we input information that might be considered as "who we would become". Some of the guys stood up to the plate and began work to get the lost pay checks and awards and decorations squared away. It may be hard to believe but some of the troops missed paychecks completely and others who earned a number of medals, received none.

Since I was one of the members who never received a single award or decoration during the last 7 months of my tour, I really appreciated the thoughts and efforts to push the paper work through. When I came to this particular unit, I had already been awarded a Bronze Star and a load of air medals so I wasn't very interested in awards and decorations.

Unit Citations were earned by everybody in the troop but many never received them. I'm also one of the many from that group. Air medals, an award that came with the number of combat assault hours we spent flying in combat were more or less automatic. Despite that, many never received a single one. I spent hundreds of hours flying combat assault missions but so did my co pilots, gunners and crew chiefs. They didn't get them either.

Somewhere between the story of who we would become and the editorial called "the direction of the site", it crashed.

I began to read everything I could about the history of our Country. The Revolutionary War was one that brought about a specific bit of information and in a sense, opened the door to understanding how political statements can be troublesome to a certain number of people in our society. I'm glad to say that despite that, we had enough real patriots in our midst to overcome that and we went on to establish the land of the free.........as in freedom of speech.

Having said that, and knowing well what my short comings are, I've decided to completely disengage from the site. I check it several times every day but only find myself being dissappointed with the never ending nothingness that exists there.

I'm not certain that I will disengage from my efforts to get "EveryVeteran.com" formed but in view of a couple of comments that I received from the Veterans I've invited to join in with the efforts to help the VA hospital out, I think it's time for me to simply pass the baton on to others.

You may have noticed that I've deleted the "get started" post I made a couple of weeks ago but if you haven't, the negative comments have produced in me a level of understanding that I'm not the guy to lead the way.

I've admitted that since day one and hoped to find some leadership with my postings about it, but at this point, I've only found nay sayers instead of real leaders.

That's just the way some people are and the way I am, doesn't allow nay sayers to even have a say. I concluded that they weren't going to offer anything positive anyway and would rather focus on finger pointing instead of leading the way.

In view of that, let me wish whoever may step up to the plate, the best of luck and my support of any efforts they pursue to help the wounded warriors with their plight. I will finish by sharing the advice to watch out for the assholes who will try to block your efforts to help. Believe it or not, they are out there and would rather take from than add to your efforts to help.





 














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Birthday, Grandbaby and a new thought

November 4th, 1948 was a long time ago. I'm starting another year off with really good news as Tim Jr and Kristin have just announced that there will be a new Butler Family member coming along sometime around the end of May or early June.

My skull is doing better but my legs need a bit of work. I'm back on the walking cane but I think it's due to the long period of time of not working. I don't necessarily like the VA's term that I'm "un-employable" but I understand it and totally accept that they are right. Some days are good and some days are bad but even on the good ones I would have a  hard time meeting any kind of commitment with any degree of certainty.

Melissa said I need to go to the physical therapy lab but I told her that it looked more like a torture chamber to me. I made a trip there about two weeks ago and instead of seeing a good looking nurse like the ones that were in Oncology and Radiation, Attilla the Hun answered the door. This guy has arms bigger than most people's legs. He's  huge and I guess that catching 200 pound Veterans as they fall, is the reason they have him there instead of a nice, petite nurse.

I've made a ton of progress in my efforts to form Every Veteran Dot Com but the progress has mostly surrounded meetings with attorneys, web site people and an "IT guy" that knows how to put all that together. I wish I could have made it a reality before the election but I never intended it to be something that would effect that race anyway.

It's always been about organizing all of the Veterans across the Country into a single organization that would allow us to lobby every Congressman and Senator to help the Veterans with their Benefit Packages by insuring that those who are elected to represent us, vote the way we need them to vote.

Anything that involves 22.7 million people is a difficult thing to organize and not being in the best physical shape makes it more difficult than I had imagined. I've met with two attorneys already but the one that was a perfect fit as a Veteran was an oil and gas attorney. He gave me some great advice and put me on the path to meet a tax attorney. That was a great first step but the tax guy wasn't a Veteran.

I don't think I'm being too picky I just believe that the best possible players in this deal have to be Veterans who totally understand what it's like to do the things we've done, see the things we've seen and suffer the wounds we've suffered.

Once I get the best of the best lined out in the legal department, I'll be able to find someone to help with the leadership end of it. I may be the one that came up with the idea but I know I'm not the guy to carry the load.

I've been dissappointed with a few of the things I've bumped into along the way. I initially figured that there wouldn't be a single Veteran in the entire Country who wouldn't totally support the concept of filling the budgetary needs of the VA. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

I'm really not all that surprised to find some Veterans who are afraid to get involved especially now that I understand the politically divisive issues that have been eating away at our society and our very way of life.

More than anything, I think it's been difficult to get everybody lined up because, as my older brother warned me, some people will either disagree with the thoughts of addressing every elected official directly or afraid that their favorite man has made a mistake in how they've handled Veteran budgets and that they made a mistake by voting him in. I understand that admitting a mistake is tough to do but turning your back on your fellow Veterans because of that, is really hard for me to swallow.

It's still a bit strange that things are that way and that political support for an elected official would ever out weigh the support one Veteran would have for another but unfortunately, that's the way it is in some cases and I've accepted that and simply moved on.

Despite those short comings, I continue to go elsewhere with the message and continue to gain support. In that light, life is good, it just isn't completely good. Like Eastwood said: we have "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly".

Still committed. Still enthusiastic about it all. Will continue with the updates especially the one that I will be proud to make when the legal end of it is accomplished. More to come.

Hard Stuff to Write About

This has been the most difficult post I've ever tried to write. It's been kickin' my butt on a daily basis  and every time I go back to the editorial that started it all, hoping that it had been deleted and discovering that it had not, it kicks me again.

The editorial I'm referring to surrounds the intentional posting of an inaccurate statement regarding the position of wounded warriors who are under the care of our VA. After the post was made, the guy that posted it admitted that he did it as a joke but by then, the damage was done. I don't find jokes about wounded warriors to be very funny at all.

To insure that there's no mistaking what happened I'll put into quotations a part of his statement that I found to be so offensive.

Quoting only part of the editorial, I'll simplify it be saying that he correctly referred to himself as a Veteran who was under the care of the VA but, as a joke, he incorrectly stated that he is now among the ranks of the "47% " who contribute nothing to our society.

It was obviously a political poke at Mitt Romney but using wounded warriors under care at the VA was a piss poor choice of places to make it. To me, that was a kick below the belt as I'm one of those Veterans that depends on the VA to help me with my Agent Orange Contamination and the malignant cancer that comes with the dioxin.

Adding insult to injury, as I saw it, he may have created an obstacle to the many wounded who are "trying" to get some help. If that wasn't enough damage, it may also be detrimental to others who are struggling with the "thoughts" about asking for help.

With that in mind, I hope like hell that any Veteran who might have been cruising the net and came across that editorial, wasn't one who was looking for information about the process other Veterans had gone through as they sought help.

I also hope that any member of that site that reads this, considers deleting the editorial and all of the comments made about that. I would make that request myself except any statements of a political nature are not allowed on that site.

As I was dealing with all of that, I finally found a little relief and a possible solution to all this when I recalled a notice that came from the Fighter Pilot's email system that we call the "Casbar".

I think this post is important enough to put that notice in numerical order because without having the organized details or the inside information, you may not be well informed enough to understand exactly where my head is at this point in time and why I've been having such a rough time writing about this.

With regard to the Fighter Pilot's email, I clearly remember the shock from the following:

1. They informed us about a horrible situation concerning a Veteran who was in
    bad shape and really needed some help.
2. He even had a tough time asking for help.
3. He reported to his local VA but was totally unfamiliar with the process there.
4. He had no idea that budget cuts eliminated staff members to help him get started.
5. He was handed a volume of paper work to fill out but was unable to do it by himself.
6. He went home, tried again but couldn't get through it on his own.
7. He was overpowered by the frustrations.
8. He decided to take his own life and killed himself later that evening.

I don't want to seem like a broken record that continues to repeat the successes of the the Red River Valley Fighter Pilot's Association but I'm finding more and more reasons to do that everyday.

I say that because I can clearly see on other Internet sites, that the statements describing our Nation as one that is suffering from divisiveness, are statements that are true. Fortunately, the closer we come to election day, the more we seem to learn about the things that produced the divide.

The Fighter Pilot's are not divided at all. They are totally united. Remember what that was like? Was pretty neat, wasn't it!

As I recognized that the divisiveness was a situation that could easily be demonstrated as true, I began to think about the River Rats and wondered what in the hell they were doing so well to keep all of us from falling into that trap.

I started off with thoughts about their Leadership. They've had  and continue to have some really great leaders over the  years but the more I thought about their Past Association Presidents and all of the daily posts I've read on the Casbar, I realized that all of the members that are active in the Casbar, possess various kinds or forms of leadership.

That may sound a bit corny but the evidence clearly shows that to be true.

Having said that and in view of my repeated horn tooting for them, I want you to accept that my statements are most serious and not statements that have resulted from an emotional thought process of any kind. "Evidence" in making a statement like that is my defense. It's the kind of evidence that generally proceeds the final statement of an attorney when he says: "I rest my case".

As an example of that, quite some time ago, I read a reply to one of the posts from a member in the Bar and I'd like to add that for you now so you'll have a better degree of understanding of what I mean.

I don't remember the specifics of the post that produced the answer below but in that light, it must have been somewhat inconsequential to me. What I do remember however, is the answer to the post and how it effected my thought process when making my own statements. Here's the answer:

1. When posting political statements, make sure to have source documents to back them up.
2. Statements that are found to be inaccurate only weaken your point.
3. Say what you mean but mean what you say.
4. If there ain't no picture, it didn't happen.

To me, the response explained that we all needed to be very careful about passing along information. Once that was explained, I began to check out some things that were posted in the Bar and I never found any inaccuracies. There are differences of opinion but no statements go unchecked.

With that in mind, I say that any military site would be proud to achieve that level of free speech and, at the same time,achieve that level of concern about accuracy of things that are said on their sites. In an analogous sense, accuracy in political statements from Veteran web sites are no different than the accuracy of your aim when you are making a strafing run on an enemy target. Being wrong, simply won't cut it.

I don't want to paint the impression that the Casbar is a place that allows no room for anything other than a rigid posture. That's as far from the truth as it can be. There is freedom of speech there but they come with rules of conduct. You won't find any porno, bashing of Christians or any kind of jokes about our wounded warriors on their site.

These are serious people who are serious about helping our wounded warriors. Go to their web site  by following the link that is on the front page of this blog. You will find  a number of National Awards for their work with wounded warriors and no jokes or negative implications about the Veterans. Donate a few bucks to help a wounded warrior out. There's a link on the opening page here. Tell em Fireball 28 sent you.

Questions about the VA from my buddy Curt

The VA system here and in Houston has been most effective and consistent with health care. That's true in my case and it encompasses every department from Neurosurgery, Oncology and  Radiology all the way down to helping us get from our cars in the parking lot to the front door of the hospital.

Lots of us use walking canes and wheel chairs and they are even prepared for that. It's a huge facility and one of the parking lots is a half mile away from the front door of the hospital, maybe a little more.

For the Fighter Pilots and the members of the Sharks and Dolphins, please know that last night, as I was checking the various military sites that I'm active with, I checked the site from one of my units in Vietnam.

I ran across a request for help from a pilot / friend I flew with but couldn't answer because politicizing the site is not allowed. Since the funding is a political process and that involves politicians, I am forced to answer it here instead of there and I will attempt to do that to the best of my ability.

Sorry to get off the path we had been on but I consider this to be another bit of evidence that we really need to get together and help each other out and do that through the Every-Veteran site I've been working on. There will be no restrictions to freedom of speech there.

Since my printer doesn't work, I'll have to recall most of this from memory so if it isn't exactly to the dollar and cent, you will have to give me a mulligan. I have a hell of a doctor's excuse.

I'll go out on a limb here and say that they are roughly 99% accurate but will add that you can go to the VA site and get the numbers yourself. That's where I got mine. Here's a list of things that I've uncovered and experienced personally.

1.   The VA system requires an annual budget of roughly 58 Billion dollars to run the hospitals.
2.   The benefit package requires another 65 Billion.
3.   Those budgetary requirements are funded by the tax payer and allocated by the government.
4.   The Shreveport VA has a budget that was stated to me to be 364 million dollars.
5.   This is not an entitlement, it is a benefit from your service to your Country.
6.   You paid your premium in Vietnam and Cambodia.
7.   There are horrible shortfalls in the budget.
8.   It causes a shortfall in funding for the VA staff and it includes doctors and administrators.
9.   It causes a shortfall in medical equipment like the kind that was required for my brain surgery.
10. To understand the budget process, you must involve yourself in the political aspect of it.

I'm not in a position to say exactly what Tim Jr did to accomplish the same goal you have as I was unconscious when they brought me there by ambulance and I don't remember anything except the hot rod magazine my brother brought to me. Thanks to Leland, Tim Jr and Kristin.

I do remember that they did not have some kind of medical equipment that was needed for my brain surgery and that was explained to me as a function of another shortfall in the budget.

I also remember that I could not have surgery at the highly respected Neurosurgery Department at the LSU Medical Center in Shreveport because the budget shortfall would not allow payment to that hospital.

In view of that, I had to be transferred to Debakey Medical Center in Houston where the VA is set up as the brain trauma center for the wounded Vets returning from the Middle East.

I was already in the system and being treated and medicated to stop the bloody feet and hands that came with the Agent Orange problem. That was already in place when the brain surgery requirement surfaced. Thanks again to my USMC brother Leland for getting me to sign up before the bleeding became too bad for me to do it myself like you are having to do.

After the brain surgery, the biopsy was determined to be malignant and I was given 3 to 12 months to live. When that was issued, I remember Tim Jr being directed to the Patient Advocate office where he met Rosemary Mason, another high achiever in the system and a great credit to the VA staff.

I don't know if you have already been directed to the Patient Advocate Office in California but if not, I suggest you go there immediately as the PAO worked wonders for me and hopefully, the one at your VA can do the same thing for you.

All of this happened while I was basically living on the ward at the VA in a semi private room that I shared with a World War II Veteran. At some point during that time, I remember hearing that Tim Jr's frustrations had a chance of being reduced as he had been directed to the DAV where the Disabled American Veteran's representative, Bob Petrus, was located.

I don't have any idea what happened during that time but I know that when he returned he had a smile on his face when he told me that the DAV officer knew what was up and would assist with the paper work situation that was somewhat like the one you are experiencing now.

If I had to guess I would say that the DAV meeting took place somewhere close to a month or so after my brain surgery. As I understand it, you've already been there for a year so maybe you are already in contact with them.

In any event, they put together the paper work and with the help of Doug Haywood, Mike Olinger and many others, my service in Vietnam was confirmed and my records were mysteriously no longer missing and finally wound up at the VA thus providing the truth that I was in Vietnam. It even included my OER's but not the information regarding the Flight Surgeon grounding me because of the concussion I suffered during my time with the 199th.

With all of that in place, the records went to the main service center in New Orleans. Unfortunately, under staffing there, another function of the budgetary shortfall from the government, caused that to be another long process. The suicide prevention counselor, the PAO and the DAV communicated with them on a direct basis and did a great job in helping the process along.

I hope that this account will let you fill in the blanks or answer the unknown and lead you to a faster path to being in the system like I am.

I hate to say this but I will ask you not to copy this and post it on the site as I've already been dressed down through their definition of statistics like this being something that makes me guilty of politicizing the site.

I hate to feel like I need to defend myself by helping a pilot from my old unit but with that in mind, I will finish with this:

The above ten point list is information that I am NOT responsible for. I can not help the fact that the budget is a function of the political system and one that, in some cases, classifies this information as politicizing.

I will say that it's okay to send it to Don via his personal email as I don't want him to incorrectly confuse his earned Veterans benefit package as one that puts him in, as he stated, the "47% column".

I'm sorry it took so many hours to answer this but please understand that I tried to provide an answer until I finally gave up at 3 a.m. I gave it as good a shot as I could but only found myself saying: "I didn't make the rules or set the definition of politicizing the site". With that, I went to bed.

If I can help you further, please communicate directly with me on my personal email so that both of us won't have to suffer from the time wasted through restrictions of speaking freely. Good luck and hollar if you need me. Will put Pam on the prayer list and pray for her to have the endurance that Tim Jr and Kristin had to get me through it.

A previous post from 9/25 and more Churchill.

If you missed the previous post, you may want to scroll down and read it before you get into this one.

Whether you did or didn't, know that I'm in really good spirits. I had what I consider to be a great appointment with the Neurology Department at the VA hospital in Shreveport Monday morning and I'm feeling really good about it all. There was no pain, no prodding of the skull, no sticking with needles or anything at all that was unpleasant or painful.

I'll confess however, that I didn't sleep well Sunday  night. The fact that some of those visits had been painful for me in the past, might make it easier to understand how I've become somewhat concerned and uneasy about appointments that have proven to be painful. It's like Pavlov's dog.

In any event, everything came out just fine and after a 3 hour long nap, I'm still tired but not to the same point I was this morning. It's 3:30 p.m. now and after two cups of coffee, I'm back on the computer checking out the Fighter Pilot's emails. Those always produce good feelings for me as the members there remind me so much of what it was like when I was in a better environment.

You might think that it's strange for anyone to relate their experiences in Vietnam as "a better environment". Having said that, I guess it's an appropriate time for me to explain that comment and remove any doubt that I've fallen off the earth and consider war time to be better than the times we see now.

In pursuit of that, let me mention how wonderful it was to be in the midst of so many men who shared the same goals that I did and how the brotherhood from that was so great that they even made a movie about it. I think that everybody knows about the Band of Brothers even though most have never experienced it.

I've already written about some of the great pilots I flew with like Jim Rohrer. I tried my best to cover what it was like to sit beside him when he was teaching me how to survive the Hunter Killer missions when I was flying Scouts. He's gone now and I really miss the connection we maintained until his unfortunate death from cancer.

I've also written about one of the greatest aircraft commanders I flew with when I was flying Hueys with the 199th Light Infantry Brigade. Craig Wollman was so good at doing that it's almost hard to write about him and the influences he had on me.

Let it suffice to say that whether it was combat operations that went on during the daylight missions we flew or the many hours I spent flying as his co pilot during Nighthawk missions, I consider him to be the father of my Band of Brothers.

Unfortunately, not all the pilots operated at the same level. In the latter part of my tour, we had a couple of pilots who never flew. I don't know how or why that happened, but for whatever reason existing at the time, they didn't fly any combat missions at all.

As I thought about the reality of things such as that and how that strengthened the brotherhood among those of us who did fly, more quotations from Churchill came to mind.

1. "Never worry about action, but only, inaction".
2. "One ought never turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If 
      you do that you will double the danger but if you meet it promptly and without flinching you will
      reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything".

In view of the things I've been writing about lately, I hope that explains that life goes on and just because we aren't taking off to fly another combat mission, we're still in a position to do something beneficial and no matter how hard or difficult it may be, never run away from anything. Not everybody feels the same way I do but in a sense, those of us who don't give up continue to pull pitch and take off on another mission.

Uh oh. Hold that thought a second. I'll go look up some more of Churchill's quotes and see what he has to say about a bad spouse, bad politician......




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Great Generals, great points.

The following quote comes from Winston Churchill. He's one of my favorites and has been a wonderful, intellectual and entertaining study. My printer is out of ink at the moment so I may miss it word for word, but this should be close enough to make my point:

"Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver. The greater the general, the more he delivers in maneuver, the less he demands in slaughter".

The point I wanted to make through Churchill's quote focuses on the choices we have in life, career and family situations, not in war. As an example of that, in my life, using Churchill's thoughts about maneuver worked like a charm. This is especially true when you are trying to overcome any obstacle that's blocking your path to a particular goal.

I'm not wanting to claim that I was any kind of a "Field General" but I will say that the studies I've made about war led me to do many things that weren't exactly in the mission briefing. I'll be the first to confess that Lorin Bustin and I didn't exactly follow the orders we were given before we crossed the border into Cambodia and that Craig Wollman was a great mentor and pretty much taught me how to do those things. Thanks again to both of you.

For the Fighter Pilots that read this epistle, they already know the values of "The Thatch Weave", an aerial combat maneuver that produced a higher kill ratio than had ever been achieved before it's discovery. For the readers who aren't used to the term, Google "Thatch Weave" and enjoy the story and the great results of that maneuver.

With regard to Churchill's theory being used in business, I'll give you a paragraph to explain.

In the 1980's I owned an industrial supply company. As a  distributor, my goal was to sell rock crusher parts to 88 asphalt plants in my territory. A steel foundry I did business with came up with an idea to consign my inventory instead of demanding a purchase that required tons of money to fund. It worked like a charm and resulted in a market domination that lasted for years and years and allowed me to be ranked as the number 1 parts distributor in the Country. Talk about a successful maneuver, that was one for sure.

I could go on and on for hours and tell stories about maneuvering through a whole lot of situations that were very tough for me. Instead of doing that to make a point, I'll refer to a couple of quotes again and hopefully connect all of them on the next post which I will make shortly.

I will add that I hope to effectively connect all the dots here to an obstacle that I'm trying to overcome in my efforts to help the Veterans who are having trouble making it through the system. Here are the quotes.

"The Pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty".

"If Hitler invaded hell, I would at least make a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons".

"If you have an important point to make, don't try to be suttle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once then come back and hit it again, then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack".

That's it for today. I have an appointment with the Neurosurgeon tomorrow so I may not finish this by then but I will as soon as I can. Stand by for more. .

Hand Salute to Fighter Pilot's Association

I've mentioned the Red River Valley Fighter Pilot's Association many times on this blog but I probably haven't done it enough. They do an incredible job in every aspect of our combat history and, as a part of that, they also include the present and the future.

For those of us who flew helicopters, let me offer a personal thank you for accomplishing the mission of owning the sky above us. It's often referred to as "Air Superiority" and they are the ones who delivered it.

The anti aircraft fire was bad enough but without the Fighter Pilots, I can only imagine what the helicopter losses would have been like had they not been around. I can not imagine how bad it would have been to fight Migs at the same time we were trying to dodge the radar guided anti aircraft position and small arms fire that I experienced in Vietnam and especially Cambodia.

Moving from the past and all of the historically important aspects of their part in the war, and proceeding to the present, they have put together a great organization to help with the wounded that we now see coming out of our military.

With regard to the future, they work very hard to help out the men and women of our military who will face difficult times as they try to re-enter society as our Wounded Warriors.

Among many things that makes them so extraordinary, their work for the future needs of our Veterans is probably the one that is the most admirable. I say that because it requires so much work. It goes far beyond fund raisers and hitting their check books to make the donations that are required.

They've gone far beyond the norm and I say that because they focus on intelligence gathering to point out and specifically identify the problems we have within our own system and how those problems negatively effect all of us.

Through them and their efforts, I have discovered a number of people who are more than unfriendly to the military and the Veterans. Despite the assumption that this might be a political statement, please be advised that it is more a statement of "fact" that should be described as "reality" instead of "politicizing".

With that in mind, I remain somewhat amazed at the officials who vote against the budgetary items that are good for our Veterans and current military men and women and instead, vote for foreign aid packages that degrade the necessary funding to do what George Washington wrote about during the founding times of our great Country.

I don't have the exact quotation in front of me at the moment but it basically says that" The effectiveness of your military is directly connected to the way they are treated after they leave the service and become Veterans".That may not be word for word but it's close.

As an example of that kind of statement being put into a context that focuses on the Red River Valley Fighter Pilot's Association, I have a very brief example to give you.

Recently, I received two emails from the Association. One came from headquarters and the other came from Mike Sloniker who was a good friend of my buddy from flight school, Fred Thompson. HQ and Mike told me that I was listed as missing in action. For the most part, that means that they had no address for me and they wanted to know where I was.

I understood how easy that could be as I had been in the VA hospital in Shreveport and Houston, then back to Shreveport and was no longer in Leesville near Ft. Polk, my last known address.

In addition to that, Tim Jr and Kristin had come home from the Navy to take care of me during the brain surgery, chemo and radiation treatments when I was unable to do anything for myself. That brought about 3 other changes of address that only further complicated the trail.

When I found out that I was MIA, I contacted headquarters and discovered that I was not a life member and that my dues was extended even though I was a year behind. I'm a life member of the 11th Armored Cavalry Veterans of Vietnam and Cambodia and assumed that I was also a life time member of the RRVFPA. Not so.

Despite that, they knew about my health situation and had extended my membership anyway. Needless to say, I immediately fixed the address situation and prepaid my dues for years to come. Hopefully, that will give you some idea of the kind of characters that are in and run the Association. I say, that the way that the RRVFPA treats me now, is the way I hope our Veterans will be treated when this budgetary mess is fixed.

Having said all this, let me make one last point. Some of our members are wounded, some are former POWs and some are still working. Despite all of these things, they are still quite active in the day to day mission of keeping our Country and our Constitution safe..........even though it is no longer done from the cockpit.

This is a clear example of what true leadership is all about and how effective an organization can be when it spans the entire time frame from World War II and goes all the way to the battles.we will be forced to fight in the future.

Talk about the "Big Picture"! This is where it can be found. We even have a nurse with us and to say that "Dot" is a key player simply doesn't correctly identify who she is. Thank God for the Fighter Pilots, the Big Picture that they've given me, and the fearless work that they continue to provide for all Veterans and all Americans.

Hand Salute to all of you from CWO Timothy L. "Tim"  Butler, USA (Frmr)

 





     

Thanks, Wayne

 I'm getting closer and closer to a start up date. Meeting tomorrow with attorney to set up the "not for profit" Corporation. When that's finished, we will be legal to begin the work of fund raising. Those funds will be used to pay for the web site, computer and the costs to web page itself. The VFW and American Legion has over 5 million members and I've already talked to some of the members and they seem to think that direct contact at the National Level will work wonders. I hope that happens and the donations start pouring in. We will see.

Glad to see you on here. Please tell the Chip Quality Lab that I said hello. I miss the good times there.

Tim

Successful Rehab through thought, word and deed.

My career plans always focused on working until I was 74. Joe Greer, a guy who was my mentor, worked until he died, and that came during his 74th year. I never knew a guy who loved his work like Joe did nor a man who was liked by so many of the people that he met in the day to day life of his career.

Like Joe, I really liked my career path and was lucky enough to like the guys I worked for during the times that I wasn't self employed. When I was working for Prairie, more often that not, it was a blast to go to work and I had no desire to retire.

Despite the health issues that brought about the inability to stay until age 74, retirement still came. Now that I'm on the 1% survivor list that made it through Glioblastoma, rehabilitation has been the focus of my thoughts.

With the changes of prescription medications that dealt with my brain swelling issues, changes in the side effects occurred. They were good changes. The meltdowns that came until June of 2012, were the most debilitating of all. Now that they're gone, a new feeling about my abilities have surfaced.

I'm not under the illusion that I could call Jay or Woody at Prairie Contractors and announce that I'm well and ready to come back to work. I'm real clear that I'm both disabled and unemployable. Despite that, I realize that my mind still operates somewhat like it used to. I still want to do stuff but the desire to do that and the inability to make that happen, has delivered a strange result. Instead of being down in the dumps or depressed about it, I used Tim Jr's suggestion to: "Pick another target, Dad".

With that in mind, I realized that there were times that existed when my skull wasn't hurting and my brain was functional enough to focus on a number of good things that I'm capable of influencing. As much as anything, that realization allowed me to pick another target and instead of making any attempt to return to work, I decided to return to "thought".

The thought part of that, surrounded helping the Veterans. Those thoughts unfolded into the idea of contacting like minded people to help me do what I can not do myself. More than anything, those contacts have already brought about offers to make introductions to attorneys who are veterans and web site gurus who can help with the formation and function that's needed to contact every Veteran in the Country. Those introductions have provided a path that allows me to play a huge part in the  production of a legally chartered organization that will have the technical capacity to reach out and contact all 22.7 million Veterans.

That may be a far cry from working for Prairie but it's actually every bit as much fun as working for Jay and Woody. In any event, I guess the point here has to focus on the values that come with thoughts, words and deeds that provides one with a gratifying transition from a medically forced retirement into a retirement that is just as productive as full time employment.

Having said these things, I'll invite those of you who are just entering retirement or getting close to it, to get ready for an opportunity to do some pretty fun stuff when you aren't out traveling the world or doing some of the other things you've seen as your retirement dreams.

Sooner than later, the paper work will be done and the beginning stages of building the web site will get underway. Get ready. More to come..

 

  



 

Thanks Bernie

Bernie,

I'm so glad to see a comment from you. I have been involved in a number of very serious editorials on the other military sites I belong to and have missed posting here for 11 days.

The current state of affairs, with all the murders and continued threats to our Country, has obviously been at the top of list for discussion. I'm sad to report that one of the sites that I belong to has been hugely and negatively effected by it all.

Things just don't seem right and I've concluded that it's probably better for me to disengage from my efforts to help than to continue with the editorials I've been submitting. I'm doing that because I'm convinced that my thoughts of helping out aren't really helping at all.  

I find it hard to believe that we are actually seeing a time where "fear to speak your mind", has outpaced the responsibilities we have as Veterans to do exactly that. It's pretty clear to me that even our freedom of speech has been negatively effected by current events.

That does not go for the Red River Valley Fighter Pilot's Association.

They are  a very unique brand of Veterans who continue to urge their membership to "Say what you mean and mean what you say".  They don't back off of anything. Fear from expressing themselves and exercising their freedom to do so isn't even in their vocabulary.

I'm not accustomed to witnessing a fear to speak freely and I often times re-read the posts that come from the Fighter Pilots, just to remember that it's okay to speak your mind even if it goes against some of the advice I get to keep my beliefs to myself.

It's all been really confusing to me as I hate to see veterans reach a point where they are hesitant to say anything about current events or why they think we are in the shape we are in politically.

I find it hard to describe a situation like that because it's so hard for me to see where Veterans, who are speaking their minds, might fall prey to some form of retribution from a higher force. I must have missed the memo about losing our freedom of speech.

Up to this point, I've really enjoyed sharing my ideas and stories on this blog. As a result of things that have happened during the last few days, all of that has changed. I refuse to be limited by edit and also refuse to cut my rhetoric for fear of offending anybody. I've repeatedly thought that it would be okay for me to say: "If you don't like what you read here, get your ass off my blog".

At the moment, I've been thinking that I only have two choices. I can wait until something happens where our freedom of speech is no longer in question or I can make a list of people who feel like I do and simply direct my comments or editorials to them by personal email.

That will certainly fit the concerns of some and still allow me to share these things with those who aren't afraid to share their thoughts, no matter what they are. I guess the old saying about patriots is true. They are a breed to themselves and those who don't get it, need not apply. Damn, I sure hate that things are the way they are. Thanks for standing by me during these really tough times.

Tim

Conflicting Emotions

Have you ever experienced something in your life that prevented you from moving forward or forced you to become stationary in your thought processes about solving a specific problem? I wish I could ask that question in a more easily understood format but I'm experiencing a whole lot of conflicting situations right now and I can't seem to move forward.

It's almost like I'm stuck on something and that I believe in the history of things so strongly, that I simply can not accept any answers that conflict with all the evidence we've been given by the history we've already created and experienced. With all the information we have, how stupid do you have to be to believe that everything is just hunky dory?

I'll be the first one to admit that I've had hell since the brain surgery anda whole lot of hell with all of the things that came after that.  I've had a pretty emotional time dealing with the human garbage that attacked my sweet and wonderul Aunt Margie who I dearly love.

Despite the emotional conflicts with all that, I managed to visit with her today during lunch.  Her sister was there and so was her younger son and his wife. She's really doing well and I'm really looking forward to having lots of lunches with her in the new place her boys found for her. It's big as a palace and she'll be treated like a queen there and I know it.

The only part of that situation that I consider to be a conflict, has to do with the perp. I want some justice done and  until it is and I find out about it, I'm going to stay in conflict with that situation. I want his head on a platter and until some kind of sentence is given to him, I won't consider this to be finished.

Crime comes with punishment and I know that I'll remain cornered until I get the word t hat his life is going to be spent behind bars and he learns that the 11th Commandment is: "Thou Shalt Not Mess with the McInnis Family.

It isn't the political situation nor is it the multitude of memories from Vietnam and Cambodia that contains so many conflicts.

Most recently, all of these things have been on my mind but now, with all the information that comes with another anniversary of 911, I simply can't seem to move forward.

I have a sense that something is bad wrong and for some reason, as far as I can tell, nobody with the news media is doing a very good job covering the specifics of things that exist today or the history of things where we've experienced global sized problems before.

As I watched the documentary presented as "9/11: The Days After", I began to see what part of the problem is. I think it has to do with the history we've experienced during all the conflicts we've had during our history as a Country. It's rock solid history and because of that, the evidence supports my concern "that something is bad wrong."

It's impossible for me to sum it up in a sentence or even a short paragraph but I'll try to do that in an explanation that won't require me to write a book to get the point across. I'll do that by saying the following:

Pearl Harbor was the attack that caused us to declare war but it wasn't the only attack, it was only the first attack. There was a very long list of attacks after that but our response turned those attacks around and made them defensive instead of offensive. It took years and years with battle after battle before that was conflict was over.

The same thing is true in Europe. There was a long period of time between the sinking of the Lusitania and the day Hitler killed himself. It took two world wars to wipe them out. One torpedo eventually led to the slaughter of millions and took almost 35 years to clean up the mess and throw out the human garbage that started it all..

Whether we want to admit it or not, we're still having to deal with an idiot in North Korea. That's been roughly 61 years ago. The French had their Dien Bien Phu in the early 50's. We had Khe Sahn, the Cambodians had Pol Pot who was just as bad as Hitler. The North Vietnamese have relocated and re-educated alot of the population there and in one case I know of personally, one girl was relocated to the north where she is basically an indentured servant on a rubber plantation.

Think it's finished? It's not and it's far from being over. We can dig back in history to conflicts that raged 3,400 years ago and they're still in conflict today. It ain't over.

There's the answer to the Conflicting Emotions I've been having. I guess it's fair to say that I know it ain't over but I also know what has to happen before it's going to end.

For now, I'll just leave you with that explanation of conflicting emotions. I may continue with this but it depends on the personal emails or comments I get regarding these statements.

A Different Kind of Horror Story

I've been trying to address a sensitive situation on the Air Cav Troop site but I've been pretty unsuccessful in structuring an Editorial that doesn't violate some of the wishes or rules of conduct for the site.

My failure to do that has given rise to the thought that I might, for clarifications sake, categorize Horror into different types.

One comes with the term KIA where we experienced the death of our fellow Troopers who were killed in action. Try to view that as watching your best friends die.

Another comes from watching our guys that were Wounded in Action. Whether it's Manny walking with a cane just before he left to go home to begin the life long rehabilitation of his wounds, or Mike who was evacuated to Japan and we never got to see him again. Those are horrible situations but we managed to live through them and eventually overcame the horror of those experiences.

Now, 43 years later, we're dealing with a different kind of Horror. It's the never ending memories that come from the dishonorable conduct of two men in the Troop that never should have been in our unit or the Army.

With as many great officers as there were in the Air Cav Troop, it's a shame to classify them in the same group the officers in question. Rather than do that, I want to clearly say that 99% of our officers were great men of great character and greater leadership abilities.

To further separate them from the great officers we served with, let me simply say that the two I am referring to were assholes and the world would be a better place without them. Sorry about that but a duck is a duck is a duck and that's just the way it is.

After 43 years you might think that something is wrong with the lingering, nightmarish memories of these men and the horrors that they brought with them. To further the cause of understanding on your part, let me say that, as individuals, I described them as "The Puke Of The Officer Corp".

I want to say that there's nothing wrong with the men and in reality, after all these years, the very fact that so many of them are standing up to the plate to undo the bad deeds that were done, should be testament enough to validate my claim. Think a minute. Who would you bet on?

I'll bet on the honorable, brave men who did such an incredible job and did it again and again, day after day, throughout their entire tour. Keep in mind that they accomplished that in the midst of some really tough times when the war wasn't well received at home and the support from there was totally inappropriate.

Add to that the fact that we had a guy that put himself in for awards and decorations for missions that were flown when he wasn't even in the unit. That should be enough justification for me to identify him as Asshole number 1.

With regard to Asshole number 2, he was completely stripped of all rank and kicked out of the Army.

That should pretty much tell enough of a story to let all of you know that using the term Asshole is totally okay and almost certainly not strong enough to properly identify the kind of slime ball I'm referring to.

If their conduct was so horrid and their dishonorable acts so impactful that they remain at the top of the list after 43 years, that should be enough to accomplish the goal of identifying "A Different Kind of Horror Story" and justify all of the efforts of an entire Troop as they move forward to correct a part of our history that has yet to be corrected.

Thanks to Mark, Bill, Doug, Thor, Curt, Glenn and the other men of the Air Cav Troop who have suffered through the years of knowing that one Asshole got away without so much as a slap on the hand. Despite all those years, they never gave up on seeing justice done.

In the words of Winston Churchill, let me say: "Never Give In" and in my own words: "Well Done, Gentlemen". Keep on keeping on. .







.

Don't Over Do It

I've created a little concern in my family that I might overdo it now that I've been given a bit of freedom from the hospital. I know that it's easy to fall into a daily concern for your loved ones as they watched me sitting on the hot seat like I was at the time. I clearly understood what it was like for them to wake up every day wondering if this was the last day.

From my perspective, after wondering the same thing myself, my recently found reprieve from death by brain cancer, sparked the need I have to catch up to all the things I've wanted to do since the tumor was found on June 22, 2009. Give or take a little, that's been almost 39 months back.

I had a tremendous amount of "inside information" that was given to me by Guy Kinnebrew, a high school buddy that works at the VA in Shreveport. Guy gave me a booklet that had all kinds of stats in it about Glioblastoma and the survival rate of those who had it. I'll admit that it wasn't pretty and a 95% fatality rate wasn't anything to ignore or be in denial of, but Guy and I both began to look at the 5% that made it passed the 12 month mark and from there, I began to chase the twelve month and one day mark.

I never did buy into the thought that I was in denial about my condition. When you have a skull saw cut a hole in your skull the size of a baseball and a brain surgeon removes part of your right temporal lobe with the tumor, denial is impossible to exist. The pain was something I'd never experienced before even with history of breaking my arm when I was in the 9th grade.

I had 64 metal clips attached to my skull with 32 metal clamps that forced my skull back to it's original shape. One day, when I sneezed in Joey's front yard, I experience a level of pain that I'd never imagined possible. It was like someone had stabbed me in the head with an ice pick. There's an experience that rules out denial.

I had a picture taken of the clips and sent it out in an email to everybody on my email list. I wanted everybody to know that there was no way in the world that anybody could be in denial about that and experiencing the pain myself, made it impossible for me to not know where I was and what I was  going through.

I knew that I looked like hell and that losing 54 pounds during chemo and puking my stomach inside out during the time frame when chemo was underway, was the only visual reality that existed for everybody in my family.

Despite that, I still had the feeling inside that the chemo and radiation wasn't going to last forever and that after a few months, I wouldn't be getting the daily shots of radiation and the almost hourly trips to the nausea department. Eventually, all that went away and even though I still looked like hell, I wasn't puking anymore and I was gaining weight.

Now that all of that is behind me, I wanted to do something to make up for all the things I wasn't able to do since the brain surgery. Friends and family have told me that the greatest thing I did during that time was surviving and that I don't need to go back and make up for lost time.

I guess I don't have a come back reply to that except to say that it's real easy to think that way when you've never been forced to sit on the edge of the bed for 3 years.

Having said all that, I plan go back to the hospital and begin my physical therapy and leg strength exercises that will hopefully put the swing back in my walk. I've already stopped using the walking cane and I feel better about the picture of me walking up-right and without the stagger that comes from atrophy.

I guess that's about it for today. Just wanted ya'll to settle in to the idea that I'm working hard to return to some degree of physical normalcy but I'm not overdoing it. Forget the mental part, I have a doctor's excuse and I plan on riding that as far as it will take me.

"When you're sleeping, you're healing".

I've noticed that things have been somewhat quiet on the Air Cav Site recently and on this site, too. I woke up this morning feeling a whole lot better than I have since Aunt Margie's attack and I concluded that it was because I've had a ton of sleep.

The title above came from Tim Jr when I was going through some really tough times during the chemo and radiation part of my cancer treatment. It's true. There's nothing like a ton of sleep when you've had the rug pulled out from under you.

For those of us who have experienced atrophy, sleeping is kinda like a double edged sword. More sleep means less exercise and less exercise generally slows the recovery from the muscle weakness that comes from so much time spent in bed over the past two years.

It's also true that the support of your friends is paramount to overcoming really difficult times. When the guys from the 11th Cav came to Shreveport to see me, I hitched a ride on an emotional high that only seems to come from that kind of brotherhood.

My visit with Ed Usrey lasted longer than any as he stayed at my townhouse and we spent several days together. It was great to see everybody and really enjoyable for me to talk with Lorin Bustin about the days of getting shot in the Chup Rubber Plantation.

I actually enjoyed seeing the pictures of the bullet holes in our OH6 that Lorin brought with him. That may be a somewhat weird method to use as a defining moment of our time together in Cambodia but it works really well. 

Yesterday, I had a long conversation with a great friend from my working days in the 80's. His name is Neil Rose and he's really a great American and a perfect example of what Immigration should be about. Neil and his family migrated here via Canada, after the Second World War. His family served as RAF pilots during the Blitz

To add a little bit to that support group, once again, the Red River Valley Fighter Pilot's Association injected a bit of soul in my spirit. I've mentioned how influential and supportive they've been to me in the past years and how wonderful it is to belong to an organization of Veterans who are so focused on things that are really American.

I have a friend there who's call sign is ZOO. Sound weird? It's really not when you add to it, Swede, Coke, Lurch, Load, Mom, Cracker and my own call sign: Fireball.

Between the well wishes from my buddies at the Cav site and all the guys at the Fighter Pilot's Association, I managed to pull myself out of the ditch and get back on track with my work to create the EveryVet.com organization.

All the above mentioned individuals are joined by a high school friend who is a retired Navy Captain and my next door neighbor from the Dixie Garden days. He an Equine Vet or, as we call him, a Horse Doctor.

The point I wanted to make about the entire group mentioned above has to do with their support of the concept of bringing all the Veterans together into one group. Support is coming in from people who aren't Veterans but are family members of Veterans. How's that for banding together? We sometimes forget those who stood beside us when we served and how important they were to us.

In any event, I wanted to say thanks to all and once again say that I'm getting closer to having the documents in place that I need to begin operations. Neil's attorney will undoubtedly help with that. Zoo and his gang are behind me. So are the guys from the 11th Cav.

I haven't yet made contact with the National Command Structure of the VFW, Vietnam Veterans of America, American Legion, Vietnam Helicopter Pilot's Association or a multitude of other Veteran Organizations but I'm real confident that they will do the typical "Veteran Thing" and come on board with the multitudes from their membership roles.

Thanks to all above for your continued support and encouragement to "Do Something".  It's really a great time to be an American and a Veteran of our Armed Forces.

Tim  

I feel like I'm surrounded

It's one hell of a reality check to wake up one day and realize that you are surrounded by the lowest form of humanity that our society can produce.  This has been going on in a lot of our larger cities for quite some time but it's finally caught up to me and it's been real close and personal. I'm pissed and I intend to do something about it.

For most of my adult life, I was in the field every day and on the road every week. I've been to every small town around the Ark La Tex and in most of the larger ones including Houston, Dallas/Ft. Worth, Atlanta, New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Birmingham, Milwaukee, St. Louis, Portland  and Chicago. Until now, I never really felt a sense of fear or danger from the human garbage that roam our streets.

I'm just now getting to a point in my post cancer life where I feel like I can get back in the game and do something positive to make a difference. Despite that, I'm beginning to wonder if we've reached a point where that's going to be almost impossible to achieve without some super human feat of strength that I don't have. It's frustrating and concerns me a great deal as I know I will need some help getting things organized to a point that will really make a difference..

I know that the courts don't like the phrase "The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back" but recently, I met the straw.

It wasn't Aunt Margie's attacker, it wasn't the guy that robbed the bank where I used to do business, it wasn't the thief that's been syphoning my gasoline nor was it the guy that was caught attempting to burglarize my neighbor's storage room.

It was a neighbor who lives on the street adjacent to mine. She's given me a sense of being surrounded and with that,  became the one that places her in the position as: "The Straw that broke the camel's back".

You may wonder how a woman could do that to me instead of some Trevon looking, hoodie wearing gangster. Sometimes you don't have to be carrying heat to cause fear. Some carry a mental state of mind that is as dangerous as anything I can think of.

Remember the Hitler Brown Shirts? Only history has been able to clearly identify groups like that as the most dangerous kind of group. You have to look for them, be on the look out and be Ever Vigilant for the signs that they are here and near.

I am informed enough to know about the specific break ins in my neighborhood and comfortable enough with that information to realize that my feelings aren't feelings that are made from some emotional sense of things. These are hard core facts that have already been reported to the cops and then presented to those of us who are property owners here. That's evidence and again, not something that can be classified or considered to be anything other than the realities that exist here.

With all the information available to us in today's world of information, I ask myself, "How in God's name can so many people ignore so many warnings and so much evidence"? Even the Europeans make fun of us now. Despite the thousands of miles that separate us from them, even they know how bad things are becoming over here.

It's times like these when I wish I had already spent the time and energy to move forward with my efforts to organize every Veteran in the entire Country into one really huge voting block of 22.7 million Veterans and probably two or three times that number when you add their families..

If "We the People" really makes any sense and the power of the vote is really the determining factor that we the people have to insure our laws are laws that protect the good ones from the bad ones, then shame on me for not accomplishing more than the thoughts of getting all that done.

I hear complaints on the television news every day. I read it in the newspaper and see it on the net. I see statistics regarding a number of things that happen here every day, every week and every month, year after year after year. I see organizations that are seditious in nature. I don't understand how they can exist after they have proven to be so anti American and so committed to the destruction of our Country. I plan to change that and I'm going to need a lot of help.

I've studied the American Revolution and paid careful attention to the interferences of many politically and economically motivated foreign powers that came to this Continent and this Country during it's infancy.

Long before the Brits invaded New York, the Acadians, who we refer to as Cajuns, were being deported and enslaved from North America. They are now my in laws, my first cousins and my dear friends from my birth to this day. If Rule Number 1 is "Don't piss off the Aircraft Commander", Rule Number 2 is "Don't screw with my Family".

If you do the math you will see that there's been a whole lot of pushing and shoving long before Paul Revere made his ride. Nothing has changed except "time".

It seems that we have been a target for everyone from a British King, the Spanish, the French, the Germans, the Japanese and now the lone individuals who simply walk in or fly into the Country. I conclude that it's easier to simply walk in than to show up in New York harbor with an invasion fleet. With that conclusion I say: "Thank God for our military".

With so many problems and such a fine system of democratically elected choices from the people, how in the hell did we end up with so many enemies here that are still free to roam the streets?

I say it's due to the fact that we are still a relatively young Country and aren't yet finished with the formation of things that are needed to insure a continuation of the things that made America a great nation of freedom seeking men and women.

I also say that it's time to clean house and time to do it in a real clear manner and in Plain English. This politically correct garbage is part of it and I plan to knock the politically correct methodology off the map. Study your cuss words cause you'll need them later.

As an example of that, try to remember "The War Powers Act" or "The Civil Rights Act". Those are pretty simple phrases and most of us remember them. If you do, how about "The Shame on Your Ass Act"? That would make our founding father's proud, especially those that served in the military.

As an example of the "Shame on Your Ass Act", try to see a law in place that had real teeth in it that addressed those who did anything to weaken or dissolve our Country. I'm talking about the Country that says we are One Nation Under God. If you try to undo that, you would be guilty of violating the Shame on Your Ass Act and you would be deported immediately and deported with prejudice.

The great thing about NOT running for any office surrounds the fact that I don't have to do a damn thing that's politically correct. I can call an Asshole an Asshole, a Raghead a Raghead and a God hater a God hater and that's exactly what I intend to do. I could care less about the ACLU or any other group that doesn't like the way I think or the way I write. Instead of one preacher here who says: "God Damn America", I will say God is going to Damn YOU for taking him out of the focus we've always had for Him".

Having said these things I will close by saying that I am not ready to begin as I don't have the proper legal papers filed yet but when I do, I'm going to start asking for donations to help me get the computers bought and a staff built.

I hope that EveryVet.com hasn't been taken but that's not going to be my department anyway. We will figure it out and we will get it done. I'm firm in my conviction that it needs to be focused upon the Veterans because any way you look at it, we are always the ones that have to clean up the messes that these pieces of garbage leave behind. Whether it's fighting or dying, the military always ends up being the main tool that solves the really big problems.

Thanks for putting up with the rambling.

Tim














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More shock, rage, adrenaline and vengeance.

I've written several posts to my buddies on the Air Cav site about a recent situation that has literally knocked me down and out but I thought I needed to explain it here so you won't have to wonder why I've been missing and gotten away from my work to continue building the Every Vet site. I have a bit of sad news that will explain it all.

My dear Aunt Margie, one of my Aunts that took care of me when I was a diaper wearing baby, was attacked by a mid 20's black perp as he forced his way into her house to rob her. She's 86 years old, a full sixty years older than the perp. She's in the hospital now, in real good hands, being taken care of by one of her sons with another one coming in tomorrow.

She's suffering from 3 broken ribs and is covered from  head to toe with bruises and contusions that resulted from her being knocked down and dragged from her front door, down the hall to her bedroom and then thrown into a closet like a piece of baggage. She's been the angel of my life since my momma died and the Aunt that lives closest to me.

I don't think she will ever be able to return to her home but despite the loss of her entire Universe, I'm thankful that she wasn't killed, raped, tortured or any number of other things that the dregs of society have proven to be capable of doing.

For those of you who are familiar with Shreveport, be advised that this happened close to the corner of Youree Drive and Southfield. To my cousin Andrea, this is not far from our old house on Atlantic and even closer to Uncle Charles and Aunt Grace's old house.

For those of you who have been reading these posts for a long time, you might remember the stories I told about the 7 McInnis Uncles that served in World War II. My Aunt Margie married my Uncle Parker. Uncle Parker took care of momma while I was still living in South Louisiana and he was always there for her. Aunt Margie helped me through those times right after momma died and she's very dear to me.

In any event, I've personally interviewed everybody anywhere close to her house including some wonderful neighbor's that have checked in on her regularly. My hopes that a camera was mounted on the old post office building were false hopes. It's no longer occupied by the post office and the cameras are gone. I went across Youree Drive and interviewed every store owner in a small mall there to see if they had cameras. No luck.

I guess I over did it yesterday and between the emotional upset and all of the physical effort and strain of walking from store to store, I ended up going home a complete physical and emotional wreck.

The shock from this took me back to that day in December of 1970 when I heard the words "They killed Dan and Blick". The shock was the same and so was the emotion that came with rage, adrenaline and vengeance to kill. I never wanted to kill anybody as badly as I wanted to kill him at that minute.

Unlike that day in 1970, Major Wulff was no where around but Tim Jr and Kristin were. So was Steve Dupuy, Ronnie Hunt and two neighbors of mine. Tim and Kristin sat me down and defused a really bad situation that was only further complicated by the fact that the perp is still on the loose and I didn't have a target to kill or at least torture to a point where he would have wished he was dead.

Despite those horrible thoughts, I rested well last night thanks to Kristin. She found some meds that I had in my medicine cabinet and had me take a double dose to knock me out. I felt good enough today to renew my investigation and go back through the neighborhood to talk to neighbors.

I'm very pleased to know how many detectives and police officers showed up at her house when she managed to get in the 911 call. Even though she'd been locked in the closet and had 3 broken ribs, she managed to find an old shotgun barrel which she used as a pry bar to open the door and escape from the closet that the perp turned into her prison cell.

I will not do anything illegal but I am having a difficult time doing nothing. I can easily visualize myself using that shotgun barrel as a tool to break his every rib in his body and then use it like a baseball bat to totally destroy his crotch. I know that thinking about those kinds of things aren't illegal but I honestly don't see anything wrong with that. I know it would be illegal but so too are his crimes against my Aunt and our entire family. I think I'll make a deal with my family that has an "IF" in it. That deal is as follows:

IF he is caught and sentenced to jail long enough for every living McInnis family member to live out the rest of their lives without fear of him being on the street, I will do absolutely nothing.

I'll even go one better than that. If he gets life without chance of parole until he's the same age as Aunt Margie is now, I'd be willing to do nothing at all and let the law take its course. That would be roughly 61 or 62 years in prison and I think that's more than fair. I also don't care if it isn't fair because I get to make the rules on what I'm willing to do and not do.

I know my Big Brother will not be happy with this but I want to say something about that now.

Everybody in our family, you and Tommy Mayeaux included, talked me out of going to San Antonio to kill the son of a bitches that killed our sister in the hit and run car wreck that took her life after 9 days of suffering. I've regretted that decision every day of my life and wish I had gone anyway.

I guess there's just a point in some people's life where things are so horrible that law and order doesn't apply and emotionally, the only thing that brings peace is a pile of dead perps. They are still on the street and I'm still over here wondering why and the hell I didn't go over there and kill both of them.

In any event, I needed to say this to everybody so they would understand that I'm really okay and will be back to work on the Every Vet project but I'm really upset about the situation here and how my town has fallen into the same pit that produces names like Trevon Martin.

Before you close the blog, look at the top of the page and see where it says: "The new neighborhood watch". That's no longer a joke.   






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Research work for Every Veteran

Researching the various histories of the Armed Forces has been more fun that I ever imagined it would be. I initially thought it was going to be something that was closer to a really long and tough homework assignment than one that would provide so much entertainment.

I haven't made it through the Coast Guard yet but my study surrounding the Civil Air Patrol proved to be a pretty mind bending experience. Their performance during World War II was pretty much of a shocker to me as I had no idea at all that they were so active in combat operations against Hitler's U Boat fleet when they operated off the East Coast of our Country.

I've already done a ton of research about anti-submarine warfare (ASW) patrols that the Navy took part in when they were using Lockheed PV2 Harpoons to drop depth charges on the UBoats when they were sinking our supply ships as they were en route to the various resupply ports that were used during WW II.

I recall one study that covered an area of operations that ranged as far north as Iceland and as far South as Rio. I don't remember the exact range the the PV 2 had but I do recall that extra fuel tanks had been mounted to the aircraft and that it could fly very long distances. I actually found two old fuel cells that was used on a PV 2 during that time. That was just a lucky find as I was involved with the restoration of two Harpoons in the 80's, both of which were combat veterans with ASW time during the war.

One was from a base in New Jersey and the other had a stencil on it that identified it as the property of a base located in Jacksonville, Florida. If curiosity has you wondering what a PV2 looks like, go to google and type Lockheed PV2 in to their search engine and you can see a picture or two.

I haven't made it far enough to discover which kind of aircraft the Civil Air Patrol used when they were doing the ASW work but at this point, nothing would surprise me.

In any event, as I  continue to research the various histories of each Branch of Service,  I continue to be surprised and somewhat awed by the things they did during such tough and horrible times. I remember reading a number of quotes from that idiot ass Hitler where he talked about our "American condition". He mentioned everything from a decadent life style and went all the way to into his typical race relations.

I had to laugh a little about that last one when I managed to get in a personal visit to the airfield of the Tuskegee Airmen in Alabama. I no longer wondered why he stopped talking about the race relations side of that because I knew then that he was aware of them and how much ass they had kicked as fighter pilots serving as bomber escort's in Europe.

They shot down lots and lots of pilots from his "Superior Race" and wrecked his logic to focus on race in America as a tool of Propaganda. I further wondered how much of an effect Jessie Owens had on him when he kicked every German's ass in the Olympics. Apparently, kicking his ass in the First World War wasn't done to a degree that was sufficiently strong enough to convince him not to screw with those Americans.

I also remembered reading excerpts from Tojo's Diary when he was in jail as a war criminal just after we dropped the second bomb on Japan. He was nuts and didn't have a clue what the realities would be like if you really pissed off America.

Admiral Yamamoto told him and everyone else he could tell, that the consequences of attacking Pearl Harbor could be horrific and do nothing more than "Awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve".

 When I connect the dots from all the accounts of the Revolutionary War to every struggle we had from that time forward, I continue to marvel at the American Military Man and Woman. Let's not forget the WASPs who did such a fabulous job as pilots during those days. Even our women kicked their asses.

In any event, I sometimes wish that I had the money to afford a staff of people to help me pour over all the documents and stories of our military. On one hand, I fear that doing it myself will delay a start up date for Every Veteran dot com. On the other hand, I know that I can't press ahead with my efforts to make contact with Every Veteran in the Country if I don't know what the hell they did, who they were, who they are and what they want to see within the Veterans Affairs department of the Veterans Administration.

I'll figure out a way to get it done and along the line somewhere, I will publish a step by step strategy to make all of these things fall into place as a result of some well documented and historically demonstrable facts from each Branch. Just hang with me, I'm peddlin as fast as I can.

The Civil Air Patrol

The more I look into the history of our Armed Forces, the more surprised I become with all of the things that I did not know. If you want to talk about a really great outfit, the Civil Air Patrol is certainly one that ranks among the key players in the history of our National Security.

I previously mentioned adding the Coast Guard to the list of people to contact as possible members of the proposed "EveryVet.com" site because so much has been said and written about the Army, Navy, Marine Corp and the Air Force with so little said about the Coast Guard. Now, with a little study under my belt, please add the Civil Air Patrol to the list.

Now that I have looked further into things, I found a great web site for the Civil Air Patrol that includes a section dedicated to their history. Anybody that patrolled our shores and sunk German U Boats during World War II, is to me, as qualified as one can be to stand tall among all or Every Veteran in the Country.

For those of you who have read my previous posts under "You Should Have Seen This Coming", you may recall my Uncle Earl talking about his experiences with the Coast Guard when he hunted U Boats in the Atlantic. During dark, cold nights and heavy seas, I'm sure it was just as tense as the experiences many of us had while flying Nighthawk Gunships in Vietnam or flying with the Hunter Killer Teams in Cambodia.

After I discovered the CAP Site, I contacted a friend of mine from Alexandria, Louisiana who serves with the Civil Air Patrol. You can see his name and location when and if you go to the CAP web site and maneuver around their site and look into their "Locations". I'm sure that you will agree, after reading their history, that the 58,000 men and women who serve the CAP are most deserving of contact and inclusion to our group.

Thanks to Tracey Breithaup, pronounced "Bri-tup", CAP Alexandria, Louisiana.

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Veteran Brain Teaser/Delimma

I can't believe that I'm writing another post so soon after I finished the previous one. One of the reasons I started thinking about another post this soon was due to the number of supporters that commented positively about the last post.

The other reason came during a dinner conversation with Melissa that suggested how careful we must be to stay focused on Veteran Affairs and not focused on political issues.

As I thought about that statement, I began to think about the differences between "Policy" and specific attacks against any political figure.

I became more and more comfortable with that thought when I realized that there were many voters in Congress who may or may not have voted the way you wanted them to vote. When I thought about that, I knew that taking on Policy did not necessarily mean that you had to take on every single Senator or Reprentative in Congress.

That brought me to thoughts about the methodology that might be used to canvas the entire Veteran population of the U.S. to find out what they thought about any given issue.

I thought about the many polls I've seen on the net and how they formed a question or statement about any given issue, how they reported the total number of people polled, the percentages of those who thought one way and the percentages of those that thought another way. I was pretty happy with that and wondered how much it may cost to put that capacity into a web site.

As I continued to wander around my emails, I found one from the Red River Fighter Pilot's Association that threw another curve ball my way. The subject line contained a title regarding Lt. Colonel Terry Lankin's situation. You may remember him as the Officer who refused to be deployed because the President refused to produce the records of elligibility required by the Constitution.

I didn't get  into the specifics of it but I did read one very interesting quote. Inside the article, he made a statement that explained "Why my vow to defend the Constitution demanded that I sacrificed my career". From that, I wondered what the vote would look like if you had the capacity to poll every Veteran in the U.S. and ask his thoughts about it. That brought on two challenges instead of just one.

If staying out of political issues like Melissa suggested was one challenge, I felt that issues like Lt. Colonel Lankin's was another challenge or maybe an opportunity that certainly qualified itself as one that contained a Veteran in need.

While considering Lankin and the possibilities that he may have been exposed to combat experiences like we were and therfore have the mind set of a combat veteran, I began to mentally associate him with many of the guys that came back from Vietnam and made career decisions that weren't according to Hoyle.

I was one of those guys. I actually told my old boss that HE was fired as my preferred vendor instead of ME resigning as a Manufacturer's Representative of his company. I cited the fact that I came to be his Rep as a result of his National Sales Manager asking me to consider them as my preferred vendor. I'm just as guilty as the next guy who did something off the chart and it may well be that Lankin was right in what he did. I'll have to dig that up in the Oath.

I wondered how many guys remembered the specifics of the Oath they took to Defend the Constition. I'm one of the guys who did not remember the specifics of the Oath and instead, simply took it to heart that anything that threatened the Constitution, threatened me and I would defend it to the death.

From all these thoughts came other visions of how important a "Brain Trust" would be to an organization such as the proposed "Every Vet" site.

As if there weren't enough thoughts running around in my head, I began to think about any negative effect that might come from the readership if they thought this process was becoming one that was laden with problems instead of opportunities.

Nobody wants to get involved with problems but there are often times where situations appear to be problematic, but in effect, through careful analysis, prove to be more of a stimulant to solve a situtation instead of making it into something that you describe as a problem.

It's hard for me to remove the emotion that comes with some of today's situations but it isn't impossible. The VA has provided me with tons of information that comes during sessions where many Veteran's thought processes are discussed.

One memorable appointment probed the difference between making emotional decisions and decisions that are based on evidence.

Another appointment suggested that we considered changing the way we feel about something by changing the way we think about it. I took that to mean we should open our minds and consider as much evidence as we could when making our conclusions.

Having thought about that, I decided to look into the details of our Oath and the organization that Ed Usrey suggested that I look into. It's called "Oath Keepers" and I intend to look into it before I go any further into the needs I have to get help from the Brain Trust that most of you belong to.

I'll sign off with that as I've already taken a coke break, edited this post and figured that this is enough for one night. If you kept reading this far, thanks for the ear and please consider looking into Lankin's story and the Oath that we took..  

174th Assault Helicopter Company and the Red River Valley Fighter Pilots Assn.

Day before yesterday, I made contact with one of my friends at the 174th Assault Helicopter Company web site. I'm not a member there but am connected with them as several of my friends from flight school served with them in Vietnam.

Fred Thompson, Bruce Marshall and Bob Gentry were 3 of my classmates in 5th WOC who graduated and flew with the Sharks and Dolphins. Bob unfortunately was killed in action in Vietnam.
Fred and Bruce were both wounded in action but survived their wounds and made it home to have a productive life after the war. 

As a great loss to all of us, Fred passed away in 2008 from cancer. Bruce is still kicking and doing well in retirement but I haven't had much contact with him in recently.

As a coincidence, I met one of the crew chiefs from the 174th through their web site. Mel Lutgring (SP?) wasn't living far from me at the time and I somewhat luckily managed to meet him and his brothers at a camp site in the Kisatchie National Forest. It was a very neat visit/meeting and nice to have, among my friends, other guys from other units.

Howard Modjeski, another classmate from flight school, was honored by the 174th many years ago in recognition for the actions he took as a Medivac Aircraft Commander that evacuated Fred and Bruce when they were shot down. The 5th WOC class of 70-05 at Wolters was all over the 174th and is held in very high regard by their group.

As another coincidence, I am a member of the Red River Valley Fighter Pilot's Association.  Through them, other men that flew out of Xuan Loc and Tay Ninh at the same time that we did, remain connected. Time, distance, career and circumstance has a way of separating us but nothing can disconnect us completely. It can't be done. We are forever connected and that connection is one that lasts a life time.

Post chemo therapy and radiation effects will change your life and as a result of that, I haven't been as good with the contacts as I used to be. I hate being off the grid because of those things but when your health returns enough to pop your head up and reconnect with everybody, it's somewhat like a welcome home.

In any event, one of the points I'm trying to make here has to do with the many men who I consider to be great Americans. Knowing them and being connected to them through the various web sites of the many military organizations, is really an honor and a privilege that only comes with membership in "The Band of Brothers".

I say that because I've been having thoughts of trying to connect all the Veterans from all the Branches of The Armed Forces. That includes those from the Coast Guard, Army, Navy, Marine Corp and the Air Force.  To me, it doesn't make any difference if they were Vietnam Vets or just finishing their first hitch. My goal is to get in touch with all 22.7 million of them. The purpose of my wishes to contact all of them focuses on maintaining and improving the life of our Veterans.

In the same sense that the NRA has always been considered to have a very strong voice in Washington, I think that it's way past time for us to do the same thing.

As a past president of the Vietnam Veterans of America, Chapter 192 in Alexandria, Louisiana, I realize that there are many military organizations that work hard to improve Veteran's Affairs. The VFW and American Legion have to be added to that list as they are also among the front runners to improve and at least, maintain the level of care that we now receive.

It's going to take someone alot stronger and smarter than me but somebody has to start the ball rolling. That's what I intend to do and that's why I'm trying to reconnect with so many of the Veterans that are available through the net..

I have received a boat load of encouragement from all the guys at the VA hospital including some of the staff. Even though my audiences have been small, I've been asked to continue speaking to other Veterans about this and have been invited to one Veteran's home to share my experiences from my fight with malignant brain cancer.

I was somewhat surprised to receive that invitation as it came from the father of the Veteran who is now going through the battles of fighting Glioblastoma in her brain. Yeah, that's right, HER brain. I've been so wrapped up in being a "gunship/scout pilot" I had inadvertently forgotten about the incredible role that is filled by the women in uniform. Shame on me for that.

Shortly after I received that invitation I began to wonder about the many other Veterans across the Nation that needed counsel and comforting while facing the inevitable death sentence that comes with a biopsy that is classified as "malignant".

I recalled the appointment I had where the Chief of Staff told me that my biopsy was malignant and that the typical life span of Veterans who contracted Glioblastoma Multiform Grade 4 brain cancer, was 3 to 12 months.

I can only say thanks to Guy Kinnebrew for supplying the statistics that showed me and Tim Jr the information where 95% die during that time frame. That's when I started my trek to hit the 5% list. It wasn't until much later that I realized the importance of that information as it came from an old high school friend who just happened to be in the administration side of the VA.

I wondered where the counselors were but soon moved away from that curiosity when I was introduced to some really great counselors at the hospital.

The more I thought about that, the more I realized that everybody knows how bad it is when budget cuts prevent the purchase of badly needed medical equipment or the replacement of critically important doctors or staff members that retire.

I experienced that first hand when I was sent to Debakey Medical Center in Houston for my brain surgery. The VA here didn't have the machinery or the ability to let LSU Medical Center do the surgery. The VA would have been required to pay for LSU to do the surgery and since they budgetarily couldn't do that, I was transferred to Houston.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm more than happy with the results but I have always had the lingering thoughts that surrounded the budgetary reality that the VA couldn't "afford" to pay the LSU Med Center to do the surgery. To me, I've always felt that something was bad wrong with the budget situation coming out of DC.

I wondered to myself: "How in God's name can we be sending money over seas or to non U.S. Citizens, while so many things that are needed for our Veterans here, are left unfunded". Over time, I found the answer.

I concluded that the only reason it wasn't corrected and put into it's proper position to fund the current needs of today's Veterans, was due to the fact I hadn't done anything to change that.

It's easy to complain about it but sometimes very difficult to have solution based conversations that result in a plan formulation to correct the problems. I finally got tired of all that and decided to get off my ass and do something about it. That's how the concept of  contacting all Veterans was hatched.

In any event, I wanted to re-write the previous post I made about these thoughts and send them along to Jim McDaniels at the 174th, Curt Lambert with the 11th ACRaviation site and "Coke" with the Red River Valley Fighter Pilot's Association.

Please consider this as Food for Thought. As this continues I will post more later. Thanks.

Tim Butler, Former Chief Warrant Officer Aviator, Fireball 28, Blue 28, White 8.