Monday School and Sunday School.

I found out some stuff about Moses on Monday instead of Sunday. That's another good thing about DVRs. Unless the movie was fiction, I found out that Moses was found in a picnic basket shootin' the rapids on the Nile, somewhere around one of the Grunlick's Palaces. As it turned out, the girl that found him lived in the palace and was given permission to keep him cause he was still little, still wearin' Pampers. That's when the trouble began.

You see, when you lived in the palace you ended up getting a fine education. Moses eventually turned out to be one of those Harvard, Yale, Princeton types that could read, write and do Rithmatick. Over the long haul, this really pissed off the Gruntlicks cause they were all pretty Bonehead stupid. In any event, years after he got his diploma and decided it was time to do something with his life, he decided to move outta town and maybe use some of that education. Since he liked property development and political science, that's what he decided to get into.

He found out about The Promised Land and figured it would be better than living in Dixie Garden so he decided to move there. That wasn't a big issue but when he decided to take his constituents with him, the fecal matter hit the fan. He had to do all kinds of stuff to get them freed.

He turned the river red, redder than the Red River on the other side of Shreveport and he sent a whole bunch of bugs there, worse than Skeeta Bugs in the middle of the rainy season down here. He knew he was gonna get in a whole lot of trouble with the EPA so he fixed the river. I think he called the Orkin Man and fixed the bug situation but even that didn't work. I think he poisoned one of the Grunlick's first born kids and that seemed to do the trick.

Wayne, keep that in mind cause it will prolly come up in a test. It's important to remember that cause them Gruntlicks hold a grudge longer than people from Tennessee do.

In any event, Moses took all of them across the land and headed toward Israel, a place they called the land of milk and honey. Before they made it, Grunlick and his group got really pissed and decided to go get em. They hadn't learned they lesson so they were drowned and that was that.

When they got there, Moses was wore slap out and he died. That brought on more trouble especially when the Gruntlicks discovered that the Promised Land was better than the tents they were living in. The Israeli Defense Force were a lot better at fightin' so when the Gruntlicks showed up, they kicked their asses real good. This pissed em' off even more and a Gruntlick holds a grudge real long.

Now, after all this time and all that fightin', the Gruntlicks have adopted that Shicklgruber Maneuver more than ever. You would think that after the Moshe Dyan Maneuver, they would have learned their lessons but they haven't. My people tell me they're still mad cause a woman kicked their asses. Remember that Golda Myer woman or whatever her name was? You see, that's why the Gruntlicks don't like women. Deep down inside they know a woman can whip their asses anytime they want to. They didn't like Margret Thatcher either. They like the way Bill Clinton runs his hoes so that's why they donate all that cash to him. I'm glas we got this straight.

I have to go now but I'll have some more Monday School lessons later. Pass along the information if you want to but be sure to watch out for your donkeys or goats if you have any. Those Gruntlicks are  comin' to town sooner or later and you know how they are.

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