Delayed by preparations for 9/11

I had to take a break from posting because I was behind schedule for the 9/11 preparations. I don't like to view myself as a bit slower than I used to be and would prefer to describe that condition as paying more attention to detail. Everybody knows that takes time. You have to ask yourself a few questions when pondering these things.

"How much time did I spend preparing the gonad extraction and penile inverting device"?

See there! I bet some of you didn't even have yours sharpened before midnight of the 10th!  I have other duties here besides being retired, writing about my experiences dealing with illegals and maintaining my presence in various public places to stay informed, connected and intellectually engaged.

I took great risks preparing for 9/11 this week as I began to sneak up behind a rag head at the counter and mimicked the skillful maneuver illustrating the proper way to slit a throat from behind. That, in and of itself isn't such a big deal but doing that in a stealthy manner that prevents all of the patrons in the café from screaming out loud, is a whole nuther thing.

I thought I'd pulled it off until the morning of the 11th when I returned to the café to the sounds of laughter coming from the wait staff. One girl asked: "Are you really that fast"? I told her that I had an invisible knife and that I was only doing it for purposes of demonstration. It was clear to me that she'd not been through The Bernard T. Diable course of Attention to Detail.

In any event and for whatever it's worth, I've done some more study lately and discovered that September 11th has a special meaning for the rag heads. Two times in history, one near Vienna and another on Malta, September 11th marks the day of a disaster of monumental proportions for the donkey lovers. There was more ass kickin' and name takin' of the rag heads on those two occasions and they've apparently been pissed off about that ever since then. Talk about holdin' a grudge! Don't that beat all. It's been centuries since all that happened.

I just wanted to explain the last few days of vacation so you would understand that only those items of the greatest concern could take me away from the lessons here. My apologies to Karen, Troy, MFH, Dupe (who witnessed the knife cutting scene in the café), Eddie, Craig, The Woodruff' family and Blame it on Bob who anxiously awaits these epistles. I appreciate your patience. Lessons resume shortly. Thanks.