Sweet Britches 69 and the Benghazi Babe.

I wrote a satire for the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment, Air Cav Troop. I just couldn't help myself.

I wrote it in a manner that would deliver radio exchanges between Raider 6, the ground commander and Blue 28, the helicopter pilot that was flying over the area where Raider 6 was reporting from. In 1970, I was Blue 28 and Raider 6 was a Lt. named Doug that I'm still in contact with today.

As I began the exchanges, I used our call signs to identify who was who and what was going on.

"Blue 28, this is Raider 6, come in".

That's pretty typical of initial contacts made between the ground commander and the guys flying the Huey that was considered as C&C or the Command and Control ship. I answered the call just like I had done many times before during real combat missions.

"Raider 6, this is Blue 28, go ahead, I have you loud and clear". His request was as follows:

"Blue 28, Raider 6, we have many bad guys crossing the border here. Request the trax move in for support. Let's get those tanks moving. Also request the slicks come in and bring lots of M 60 ammo, over".

"Raider 6, understand tanks and ammo needed. Will contact Thunderhorse 6 and comply. Please stand by, over".

"28, this is 6, standing by".

Normally, we would have the Commanding Officer in the back of the Huey but by now, you know how things are going. Sequester, sequester, sequester, purge, purge, purge.

At that time, I made the radio call to the Tactical Operations Center to contact the boss, Thunder Horse 6, and pass along Raider 6's request.

Initially, I had no answer at all and repeated the call. "Thunder Horse 6, this is Blue 28, come in please". I heard a squelch break and made out some muttering in the back ground.

"Oh my goodness, what's wrong with this machine. Oh no, I broke a nail. Oh, uh, Blue 28 can you hear me now".

"This is Blue 28, request Thunder Horse 6, please, this is critical". Once again I waited and waited for a response and then, it happened again.

"Blue 28, they sent that nasty man home. Oh, he was so prejudiced, so judgmental, I could have just scratched his eyes out. This is Sweet Britches 69, I'm at the top of this big pile now. What can I do for you, honey".

When I heard that, I had that sinking feeling and said: "This is Blue 28, disregard, I will deploy this high freq antenna and go direct. Blue 28, out". Before I had an opportunity to prepare the high freq radio for a really long distance transmission, I heard squelch break again and was shocked at the reply.

"You listen to me Blue Boy. I'm the man with the fuzzy nuts now and don't you think you can make me break a nail and then hang up in my face. You better call me back and apologize". This is Sweet Britches 69 and you better snap to, boy".

I managed to get on with the job at hand and after extending the high freq antenna, I made my call to Headquarters.

"HQ this is Blue 28 with a high priority request for armor and ammo at Raider 6's location, Please advise". Once again, there came the squelch break from another idiot on the other end of the radio.

I couldn't believe it. The unit was full of pretty boys and there wasn't a real combat veteran anywhere near a radio.

"HQ, this is Blue 28, Raider 6 has a priority request for tank and ammo support, put somebody on the line with some authority, over".

"Blue 28, this is Pretty Boy 69, what seems to be the problem, honey"? I repeated Doug's request and decided to stay out of the conversation about the quality of radio operators since the new administration took over.

"69 this is Blue 28, Raider 6 has spotted a large formation of bad buys coming across the border and has requested armor and ammunition support".

"Blue 28 this is Pretty Boy 69, keep your pants on honey, I'll go into the room where the Benghazi Babe is having a conversation with Mrs. Kerry and get back with you in a snappy poo".

At that point in time I began to get the feel of things and managed to see how things went in Benghazi the night of the attack. As I was thinking about a group of hard core combat veterans begging for support, the radio broke squelch again and I heard the reply.

"Blue 28, this is 69, you stop this attack thingy right now. Those are not bad people, they are peace loving individuals who only seek a better life. You contact that Raider boy and tell him that they should go home and leave those civilians alone, over".

"69, this is Blue 28, I repeat, we have bad guys in the open. They are carrying AKs and suicide vests. Get that bitch on the line and either refuse the request or send the tanks, over".

"Blue 28, this is Hilly Babe, the tanks are in Cairo and there will not be any more bullets issued to that Raider gang. Those people are coming and they are going to stay, so What Difference Does It Make"?

By that time I was so mad I quit using military protocol and simply said: "Y'all can throw your medals over the fence but I'll be go to hell if you think I'm going to throw Raider 6 and his men under the bus. Go back to your bowling game and your Peace, Love and Happiness club while we take care of these murderous pieces of shit you are letting into the Country" Blue 28, over and out".

I turned off the radio and went back to FM and made the call to Raider 6.

"Raider 6, this is Blue 28". That call was immediately answered by Doug. "Blue 28, this is Raider 6, go ahead".

Raider 6, we called the TOC and had to go direct to the Head Shed. The Bitch from Benghazi was there and she has refused to resupply you and asked "What Difference Does It Make, I'm going to let them stay". Suggest you escape and evade as best you can. There's no fuel for the Hueys and there will be no extraction, over".

"Blue 28, Raider 6. We will blow up the bridge, shoot a few peace lovers and E&E back to home base. Raider 5 is stealing a bus from the Hilly for President campaign and I will give you a shout on the land line when we make it back to New  York State. Thanks for the try. Raider 6, out".

That pretty much ended the post I made but, in view of the fact that I actually took part in an extraction where 4 men were left behind in a battle that occurred in November of 1970, I couldn't imagine what it was like for the guys they left behind in Benghazi.

The more I think about the control of the mass media, the more time I spent trying to come up with a solution. Yesterday, I found one. I went to the Best Buy store and took Steve with me, all 6'9" of him. Some of us call him Uncle Tree.

He found a JVC movie camera complete with tripod and I bought it. I'm considering shooting a 2 or 3 minute newscast and posting it here every week just like Pat Condell and Wild Bill America does. When I thought about competing with Meagan, Kelly and all the other good looking women in the news business, I knew I couldn't compete. Even though Pat Condell looks more like me than Kelly or Meagan, I decided that I would have to do something really different to get everybody's attention.

I thought about the uniform fopahs where their boobs fell out of their blouses or their short skirts, where panties could be seen, and decided that I would be totally out of that league. Knowing that, I decided that I would need my owns special uniform to wear when broadcasting the news.

When Steve gets here and we make the first show, I'll publish it here as a trial run. At that time, you will understand where I came up with the title" The Long Underwear News".