New Rules from the World of Timmy

The new rule is: "There Are No Rules".

I decided to announce that today because the old rules have not been followed very well. I figured it was time to get rid of them and simply have no rules until I can get it all squared away. That will provide all of us with an answer to the frustrations from unchecked immigration of terrorists like the ones that flew the planes into the WTC or set off the bomb at the Boston Marathon.

The first one on the list: "No Rule # 1", has to do with the date 9/11.

Whether you associate that with the day the Twin Towers were destroyed and thousands were murdered OR the day that Benghazi was attacked, doesn't matter. The reason it doesn't matter is because of 9/10/2013. September 10th, one day before September 11th, will now and forever more be recognized as the day "Open Season" begins.

No Rule #2 will be classified as the "No License Required" Rule. It goes without saying that any rule that requires No License also requires No Tags. If you want to use Deer Tags or Tags for Alligators to attach to your catch, that will be okay.

I have the full support of Troy Landry on that. He's the guy on TV that hunts the alligators in South Louisiana. He's made so much money on his reality show, he's offered to buy real alligator tags at a nice price for those of you who wish to tag your kill with gator tags. He has also offered to begin production of counterfeit tags to replace the real tags you may use.

No Rule #3 announces that "The Season Never Ends". You can hunt day or night, you can use bows and arrows, you can hunt on Sundays, you can hunt when it's raining or snowing or anytime you feel like hunting. There are no restrictions for hunting with knives. This allowance is in recognition of the hog hunters down here that like to use the old Jim Bowie knife that was so effective in close combat.    
No Rule #4 focuses on Geography. Basically, it says: "You Can Hunt Everywhere". Inside the city limits is a great place to start as there are many trophy targets found there. You may also enjoy unrestricted hunting on the borders of Southern States starting with Texas and going all the way to California.

No Rule #5 surrounds "limits". It says: "There Are No Limits". You can shoot one, a hundred or a thousand. The more the merrier. This should be self explanatory but I wanted to note that rumors of the "Million Man March" that might occur in DC on September 11th of this year, may cause some trouble with the claims of who shot what and how many.

We suggest that your larger hunting parties should be divided into sections to prevent one group from claiming more kills than another. This problem will need to be addressed by those within your hunting party who have prior military experience or, live in the South. Try to remember, there ain't no I in TEAM.

No Rule #6 copies an earlier rule from another time. It states: "Badges, We Don't Need No Badges".

I argued that badges would help identify hunting parties and allow the general public to recognize us as the kind of patriots that existed during the late 1700s. I finally agreed that we DIDN'T need badges as it might cause some confusion in the general population. We didn't want anyone to think we were cops and interrupt our hunt by asking questions about law enforcement issues such as traffic fines or driving directions.

We finally agreed that we could use home made badges that preferably were made from cardboard and colored by our grand children to give them a sense of participation. This was a motion that was made by the Grandmothers among us and overwhelmingly approved by the guys over 60, especially those who had Grand Daughters.

I would like to extend my appreciation to Colonel Lambert for the case of Crayola products he donated for the grand kids to use while they color the badges and to his lovely wife Pam for supplying all the scissors that will be used to cut out the badges. Thanks again to Curt and Pam.

There will be more on this later but I wanted to get this out a month before the Season opens so all of you can understand. Thanks to all for the help in getting this through the hearings that were held in the congress of Timmy World headquarters.