Cancer Free, Brain Damage and NO Chemo Neuropathy

Is that how you spell Neuropathy? In any event, I found out that the chemo neuorpathy hypothesis was inaccurate and I do not have it. My catscan also showed that the cancer has not returned and apparently has been blasted to smithereens. As I understand it, all I am suffering from is brain damage..............or is that Drain Bamage?

Any way you cut it, the chemo thing is good news. I had a really neat consult with the Chief of Staff from Oncology after the catscan and was quite thrilled to hear that I only have the brain damage thing to deal with. Losing an eye and learning about radiation and brain surgery damage might seem to be a really serious knock out punch but it isn't to me. I've learned to play the game instead of rolling over and doing the "Woe is Me" thing.

I've had a number of consults with the docs in the "Head Shed" and I've actually learned a great deal about the brain and how it works. It's like getting a new lease on life that comes from knowing that I do have some things that I can work on and that all is not lost. I say that because I have been using a cane to counter the instability that came post surgery, chemo and radiation. Now, as I understand it, the instability is due to brain damage and not the destruction of some nerves in my feet from the chemo.

Yesterday, I announced that I would issue my brain orders to stop the bullshit with the feet and to re-route the cerebral information to some other area of the brain instead of sending it to the normal areas that process balance and all the other inputs that allow us to walk without falling down and busting our asses.

I wish ya'll could have been in the clinic when I announced that. The computer key board that's used to input things I say was literally being hammered with the information that I was spewing forth. The saving grace in all of that comes from the fact that I had ordered similar things when I was in my "3 months to live" time frame. Some of you who have been following this from the beginning will recall things I said and did during radiation but for those who have not, I'll explain it now so you may understand how a brain damaged patient can get the attention of the entire staff when he talks about ordering his brain to do something.

When I was in radiation, I could hear the shots they were taking at my brain. It was like an x-ray that you can hear but not feel. When they would shoot, I would move my right and left index finger just like I was pulling a trigger. They stopped the treatments to ask if my hands were okay and when I told them I was fine they asked what the deal was with my fingers moving every time they gave me the shot.

I told them that every time they took a shot of radiation, I was taking shots at the malignant cells with my mini gun. I added: "If you guys are killing them with radiation, I'm killing them with my mini gun except I'm shooting them in the back.........cause that's my favorite way". You may well imagine their reactions to that and try to visualize what it must have sounded like to the entire crew. They left their lead lined room, came into the radiation room where I was being bombarded and checked me out to see if I had lost my mind.

After that, they went back to the safety of the lead lined room and continued to shoot the right side of my brain where all the damage was. When the machine finished the right side, it continued to move along it's circular path, made it to the back of my head and then repositioned itself to the left side of my brain.

When that was done, the machine began it's uphill climb on the left side of my body and when it hit the right spot, they began shooting again. That's when I quit using my index fingers and started using my thumbs.

Waylon, Lisa and Cathy stopped shooting, called me on the speakers and asked if my thumbs were hurting. When I told him "no", he asked what I was doing with my thumbs. I told him that the 50 caliber used thumb switches instead of a conventional trigger switch and that it was located on the left side of the Huey. They either figured that I was tripping or that I was doing a mind thing. I commented that they were serial killers of malignant cancer cells and that their weapon of choice was radiation. When I explained that my weapon of choice was the mini gun and 50 caliber and that my favorite way was shooting them in the back, the procedure continued until it was time to quit.

I can understand how all of the staff members in the radiation department might have felt at that time but as word spread throughout the rumor mill, my method of killing cancer cells brought about alot of attention and I began to see lots of appointments with the neuro surgery department as well as the Chief of Staff from the Psychiatric Department. Man, was it fun explaining all of that.

He brought out a cut away model of the human brain, showed me where the audio visual receptors were, where the right temporal lobe was located and how all the information flowed from there to various parts of the brain and then to the nerve system down the spinal chord. From that, many other conversations were had where I explained how I visualized the malignant cells and the picture I had of me making gun runs on them, killing them with the mini and the 50 caliber.

In any event, yesterday's statement about me ordering my brain to re-direct the information of instability to other parts of my brain, did not go un-noticed and Roger walked me to my car from his 10th floor office as I had already stopped using the cane. It was a long walk and I'm sure that he wanted to see how I was going to make it without my cane. Worked like a charm.

That will be it for today except to welcome and say hello to Donna. If you remember "Shot in the Head Fred", that's the girl he married when he came back from Vietnam.

More later as my experiment continues. Tim